Broken Bow Book 4: A Boy Called Artemis
by Xed Alpha
Summary: Lost, stranded and alone in a strange alternate reality. Armani Dove's only hope of ever returning home rests solely in the hands of a young Irish criminal mastermind who shares his mother's name. Beta by Shrrgnien. Winner of the Veritas OC Award.
1. Chapter 1: Awakenings

[A/N] Okay, in celebration of voting opening for the Veritas Award (for which Broken Bow 2 and 3 were nominated) I've decided to release early the betas for chapters one and two, which have been made possible thanks to the miracle that is Shrrgnien, all kudos to her for this. So without further ado let's proceed, shall we?

**A Boy Called Artemis **

**Chapter 1: Awakenings**

I tumbled out of the elevator and fell flat onto the marble floor. I glanced drearily up at the strange, almost middle-age decor of the corridor I was now in. A wooden desk sat near the elevator, both of them starkly out of place in their surroundings.

_W-where? How did I-?_

I pulled myself confusedly to my feet, staggering slightly as I looked around.

"Where on Earth..."

"Now, where did _you_ come from?" I felt a jolt of mixed shock and faint repulsion at the sultry voice, and swung about to find an eerily beautiful woman with odd violet eyes regarding me from beside the desk, her hand twirling idly through her mahogany hair. She smiled sweetly and I couldn't help but notice that she seemed to be sniffing subtly in my direction.

_Strange...Where did she pop up from? Wait, she asked a question, best answer..._

I blinked and glanced back at the elevator. "I uh... I think I-"

"Let me guess; wandered off from the tour group, did you?" she interrupted with a sigh, resting her hands on her hips.

_Works for me._

I nodded. "Tour group, right, gone a-wandering."

She approached me and entwined her arm around mine. "Why don't you come with me? I'm sure we can catch up to the others." She then began marching down the corridor, effectively dragging me along with her.

I frowned curiously as I regarded the woman. A small spark of recognition went through me. "Have we met?"

I seemed to give her pause, as her pale brow twitched momentarily into a frown. She glanced at me out the corner of her eye. Her smile immediately returned. "I don't think so."

_Then why do I get the sinking feeling I've seen something like this before?_

A moment later we reached a large pair of wooden doors. A crest was emblazoned on the wall: a coat of arms over a large V.

Her grip intensified as she threw the doors open.

Another jolt of adrenaline surged at the sight before me.

Bodies, everywhere...

Spread out across the marble floor were the corpses of what appeared to be nearly two dozen tourists of differing age and gender: men, women and even young children. Multiple pale-faced figures were standing by with looks of immense satisfaction on their faces.

_What...is this?_

My stunned gaze was suddenly drawn to the back of the room. Three equally pale figures were settling themselves into a trio of ornate chairs. The central one suddenly met my gaze. "Problem, Heidi?" he enquired vacantly in a British accent that carried easily across the room despite how disinterested he sounded.

The grip on my arm tightened. "We have a straggler, sir," She said carelessly. With fluid grace, she shoved me forwards and onto my knees in the middle of the floor.

The man dabbed a trail of blood off his lip with a silk handkerchief, and then sighed tiredly. "Then why don't you eat him and have done with it?"

"I had my fill; I thought I'd offer him to you first, Lord Aro, he smells quite delightful."

_Wait a tic...Aro?_

My eyes flicked about at the pale faces regarding me in an all-over unpleasant manner.

"Have we met?" I found myself asking for the second time in as many moments, this time of the pale figure in the centre chair.

"I sincerely doubt it." The man responded dryly, seeming almost amused.

I glanced at the two other figures, then all around me. A large man with equally pale features as the rest stood at the base of the steps, on top of which stood the chairs. To the side were two children, a dark haired boy and petit blonde girl.

_Funny, it almost looks like a scene from..._

Adrenaline again...Followed by the biggest sensation of sinking dread I'd ever imagined possible, like, hypothetically, the kind you would experience if you'd just realised you may have fallen into the lowest level of hell itself.

"Oh gods, it can't be...No...No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." I stammered, shaking my head and scrambling back on the marble floor in abject terror.

He smiled at my reaction. "Now, _that's_ more like it. I've quite had my fill also; if anyone could use some dessert you're more than welcome."

"_You_..." I breathed, "You're..."

Aro frowned. "Yes?"

"I know you!"

"No...You don't."

"Yeah...You're...you're the creepy British guy," I said, pointing a finger at him.

"The _what_?"

The finger shifted left. "And the creepy old guy..." Said man glowered. The digit then moved to the right throne. "Creepy Blonde Guy..." I carried on. "Creepy Big Guy, Creepy Emo Boy, and-"

The blonde I was about to identify as 'Creepy Sadist Girl' butted in, her voice flat. "Creepy? Yes, we've established that you find us creepy."

"But you _can't _be...You're...You're the...the potpourri!"

"_Volturi_," The girl corrected with a hiss.

I cocked my head. "Close enough... To be honest, I was just hoping that the Village People had taken a decidedly gothic turn. Hey, big guy, lift your arms up and do a Y." I said, mimicking the motion.

He stared stonily back in response. "What, no, nothing?" I said with a sigh, realising there really was little hope of tricking the Volturi into doing the YMCA.

The blonde glanced at Aro. "Master, can I eat him now?"

He rubbed his brow. "_Please_...And make it quick, preferably before he opens his mouth again."

A twisted smile spread across her white features. "Does screaming count?"

The man smiled slightly back in response. "_Jane,_ dear one_..._You know it doesn't."

She gave an absolutely adorable smile, then turned her red eyes back to me and held my gaze for a moment.

Silence.

Another moment passed.

I frowned, and so did she. "Umm, I'm all for staring contests, but I should warn you, I'm very good at them."

"_Interesting..._" The man's voice suddenly spoke up, disinterest giving way to intrigue. "Jane, either you are losing your touch, or this boy is... _different_."

She snarled indignantly. "I swear, Master, it must be-"

He interrupted. "Yes, yes, but we can find out later. You've just fed, so I would ask you to use _some _restraint; we will explore this issue...afterwards_._"

It took a second for it to dawn on me just what Creepy British Guy was implying. I leapt back from arm's length of the blonde with a cry of, "Oh, no. No way in _Hades_ am I being a sodding sparkling vampire!"

Jane took a step forward. "Well, if you're lucky, I might just get excited enough to drain you dry."

"Do you _have_ to smile when you say that?" I asked, backing up in time with her. "Wait a sec, so you're saying your cute little psychic pain power doesn't work on me?"

She paused and the smile melted from her face.

Normally my instinct would keep me quiet in these situations, just in case I went too far, but it was oddly silent, so it couldn't voice any concern over the fact that I had started humming 'Can't Touch Me' just loud enough for Jane to hear.

The little dance I was doing probably didn't help either.

It was obviously a bit too much for her temper to contain, as she crouched to pounce on me.

_I can't believe I'm being forced to help out on this one, but escape route at three o'clock._

My instinct was being reluctant? That was odd; normally I couldn't get it to shut up.

I didn't pause to question as I shot off in the direction indicated. I knocked Heidi aside with great difficulty, her stony stance making me stagger as I bolted out the door and down the corridor.

I was running as fast as my legs could carry me.

_You are aware this is entirely pointless?_

What?

_Honestly...if we didn't need the adrenaline so much, I'd be laughing at you right now._

I ignored my uncharacteristically unhelpful instinct as a dark blur shot past me. With a flutter of black robes, Jane skidded to a halt on the marble in front of me, her teeth bared.

"Ahh, cripes..." I yelped, did a sharp right turn down another corridor, and began hurling doors open in my path. I heard the sounds of breaking wood as my pursuer smashed through them a second later.

When I glanced back, she was hot on my heels. "Oh come on!" I cried, and began hurling anything in my path backwards at the small vampire girl.

I heard an indignant cry as the priceless Ming flower vase I had torn from its pedestal crashed into my pale-faced pursuer. I used her moment of disorientation to duck down a side corridor and into a small room. I closed the door behind me and staggered into the centre.

I leaned forward, gasping for air, and took in my surroundings.

It was a small, stone, octagonal room. Its yellow stone walls were bare, with the exception of a single high window letting in a shaft of sunlight.

As I stood up, the silence was broken by a subtle _drip, drip, drip_.

I groaned. "You're standing right behind me, aren't you?"

"_Correct._" Her usual monotone had been replaced by blistering fury.

I heaved a sigh and turned about, and of course, blocking the wooden doorway, stood Jane. She was smiling, but her amusement didn't seem to reach her eyes. I had to assume this was in part due to the fact that she was dripping wet and had several flower petals stuck on her robes and in her hair.

"I suppose we should exchange pre-fight pleasantries and-"

Jane obviously wasn't in a playful mood, as she cut me off with a lightning fast lunge.

"Hey!"

"Yes?" She enquired as she moved with such a blur I could barely keep up, each time lurching in to try and get at my neck.

"Don't you know..." I began, dodging the blows she began hurling, "...that it's rude..." I continued, pausing to backflip myself off the rear wall and thrust myself forwards over Jane's head, "...to interrupt someone...whilst posturing?" I punched her as hard as I could in the small of her back.

In retrospect, this wasn't the wisest move.

"OW! Oh, sweet Hades, I hate you guys..."

She paused for a moment to revel in my pain as I cradled my wrist (which was most likely sprained) and then swung her arm. The blow sent me hurtling back and crashing into the wooden door, which cracked under the force of the impact.

_I should've dodged that..._

I suddenly realised that my reflexes weren't just dulled; they weren't there at all.

_I'm not reducing myself to helping you fight fictional characters!_

I spun onto my feet as the diminutive figure tried to punch a hole in my chest.

I weaved around her and staggered back out of reach again.

She turned slowly, her red eyes burning into my own.

_And now I'm cornered...spiffing. Well, I'd best make her mad enough to totally do me in. It's better than the alternative..._

"Tell me, you marble-faced midget..." I began with an annoyed snarl.

She seemed amused now that she had me backed into a corner, like a cat toying with a mouse. "Yes?"

"What's worse: being classed as a reject by a village full of people so dumb they couldn't even burn two kids alive correctly, or being so pathetic that you can't even get your mojo working against a single teen as shallow and pathetic as young Miss Swan?"

Her eyes went wide and she froze dead. After a second she seemed to begin shaking as her eyes filled with unbelievable rage. "How...Do you know about that?" she whispered.

"Know about what, porcelain face?" I asked with a smile.

She shook her head and began advancing slowly."I _am_ going to enjoy this...I'm sure you will give me the answers after your change is complete. Oh, I am going to _savour_ watching my venom work on _you_..."

She stepped into the shaft of light, and her skin began to glitter (or _sparkle like a thousand diamonds_, as some might put it.) For some reason, I chose that moment to really snap. "Gods, you're pathetic!"

She stopped again. "_What?_"

"Look at yourself: glittering like a smarmy, pubescent disco ball! If you had any self-respect you'd burst into flames right this instant, young lady! I bet if I offered you a mirror, shoved some garlic in your mouth, and doused you with holy water, you'd just admire your reflection, swirl some mouthwash and ask for a _towel_! And if you think even for a _second _that I have any intention of spending an eternity serving Dracula's camp cousin through there, I'm afraid you're in for a _big_ disappointment!"

I gasped for air. It had, after all, been a very long-winded rant.

Jane simply tapped her foot and raised a single slim eyebrow. "Finished?"

I cocked my head. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Good."

She didn't dignify my outburst any further. With a sudden burst of impossible speed that made me realize she had been toying with me before, she leapt right at me, wrapped her legs around my upper torso and pinned me violently against the floor.

Before I could even react, she had tangled the fingers of one hand through my hair and grabbed my chin in the other. Time seemed to slow as she tilted my head ever so slightly to the side, her eyes glistening with undisguised thirst as she leaned in.

She held me there for a second, giving me just enough time to realise what was going to happen and then accept how powerless I was to stop her.

I would've stopped to admire the true depths of her sadism had she not lunged forward and sunk her razor-sharp teeth deep into my unprotected throat.

-Ω-

"Ah!" I woke up with a gasp, sitting bolt upright. My hand immediately went to my neck. Adrenaline surged through me as my fingers reassured me that I wasn't now an immortal, inhuman being...at least, no more than I normally was.

I glanced about. I appeared to be in some kind of hospital clinic, and I was currently resting on the only bed in the room.

A man in a white coat was standing with his back to me whilst washing his hands. "Awake, are you? We were beginning to think we'd lost you. That was quite a tumble you took."

I rubbed my head. "W-what? Where am I?"

He pulled a paper towel free and began drying his hands. "It's all right; you're in a hospital."

"A hospital where? And...who are you?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head in confusion.

At that, the pale man turned around. There was a compassionate smile on his face. "Of course. You're in Forks, Washington. My name is Doctor Cullen."

-Ω-

This time I woke up _screaming_.

I rolled over and fell clear off the bed I was laying on, crashing to the white floor with a painful thud.

"_Gods,_ that was terrifying!" I gasped with a hand clasped over my chest as my heard thudded audibly in my ears. I actually savoured the pain, as it was a clear sign that I was no longer trapped in the Tartarus of that dream.

_So...Finally awake, are you?_

I ignored my instinct and pulled off two suction-cup-like objects that had been attached to my eyelids. Each had been partially pulled free when I fell off the bed.

"What's this?" I murmured as I examined the cups. The underside of both was rough, as if coated with millions of tiny bristles. I sniffed it curiously; the scent was both strange and sweet, and immediately made me feel woozy.

_A sedative?_

I guess that explained the intensity of my nightmares. It would take a huge surge of adrenaline to force me back to consciousness through something like that.

"But seriously. The T-word? That was a little much, wasn't it?" I mumbled as I began pulling myself up on shaky feet.

_You're welcome_.

I decided it was about time to take stock of the situation, when suddenly one fact that had been staring me in the face suddenly came to light.

"I'm alive..." I whispered. This fact stunned me to silence for a moment. The last thing I had known was fading into oblivion with my mother looking on in despair.

"So... I survived?" I pondered out loud. "Huh... love it when that happens." I smiled and began surveying my surroundings.

I suddenly had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming when I saw where I was.

It appeared to be another hospital room, only this one looked like it had been pulled straight from an episode of Star Trek; there were several strange looking hospital beds that looked to be made for people of children's proportions. Flat monitors covered in strange symbols covered one wall. One seemed to have been displaying my own vitals, as it was now showing a series of flat lines. I sat on the bed and, indeed, my pulse began to register on the screen.

_Definitely a medical facility of some kind..._

The door was small too, less than five and a half feet in height. Built into the doorframe was what appeared to be a control panel with several readers. One seemed to be for a palm and another, if I had to guess, looked to be some kind of retina scanner.

I mashed the large button at the base of the control panel. The display flashed an objection in red alien writing in response.

_Don't need a translator to know a locked door when I see one_...

Hotwiring and lock picking skills wouldn't help me here. This was way beyond anything I'd ever seen before. There was also the fact that my head was still cloudy from the sedative. Plus I was so thirsty it bordered on unbearable.

_Oh well, only one thing for it then._

I nudged the door gently with my shoulder. It seemed to be hermetically sealed, but didn't appear to be too strongly reinforced, and was made of some kind of lightweight alloy.

_Obviously not intended as a prison, then._

I pondered this as I stepped to the back of the room and tilted my shoulder towards the door. I took several breathes to focus myself. A welcome silver glow from my skin greeted me as I prepared to strike.

I charged forwards and shoulder-barged the door with enough force to knock over a baby elephant.

Obviously, the architects hadn't designed their doors with demigods in mind...

-Ω-

Commander Kelp had commandeered the hospital manager's office –despite said manager's heartfelt objection—for Artemis and the other visitors.

Artemis himself was now in the process of poring over some of the scans of the newcomer taken by the fairies' best medical equipment, and was now greatly intrigued by what he saw. What had began as a disappointing outcome was quickly turning into a very curious mystery.

When the crack had appeared in the sky, and the People's best warlocks had identified it as a breach in the walls of reality, they had assumed that the most likely cause was the demons of Hybras. The demons had once been trapped in Limbo, along with their entire island, until Artemis and his friends had shifted the entire island back into real space. However, a good portion of the island's population had disappeared into oblivion as the space that housed the island began collapsing. So when this great crack in the sky appeared, they had simply assumed it to be some of the lost demons returning. It would've been a time-delayed return, to be sure, but they could think of no other explanation at the time.

Holly Short had recruited Artemis' assistance at the behest of the council, should his _special talents_ be needed in the long run. Artemis, being Artemis, had obliged happily, if only to satisfy his curiosity.

Then the breach had begun closing as quickly as it appeared. Nothing had come through; no demons, no matter, not a thing. Disappointed, and hoping some of his lost kind might just need more time, the powerful warlock known simply as Nº1 had used his powers to hold open the breach on this end just a bit longer.

And that was when it got interesting.

As Nº1 channelled his magic through the breach, he had cried happily that he had found something latched onto the other end of the rip. An instant later, with a flash of pink light, a single form was ejected from the small remaining opening and sent hurtling down through the air, drawn like a magnet to the small warlock. The imp had dodged just as the flying boy was about to hit him. Artemis Fowl, on the other hand, who just so happened to have been standing directly behind him, wasn't so quick on his toes, and instead found himself turned into an impromptu landing mat for the unconscious child.

The LEP were reluctant to release the boy to the Mud People's (more commonly referred to as humans') care, as they didn't know where he came from or indeed what he was. However, neither did they want to risk causing chaos by bringing a human into Haven. And so, since no real agreement could be reached, Artemis had recommended the happy medium that was Atlantis' hospital craft. It was mobile enough to keep the newcomer away from faerie cities, but would also put him in a position where the People could keep watch over him until they were sure he wasn't a threat to the world at large. Commander Trouble Kelp had reluctantly agreed and had them all transported to the ship, along with an entire squadron of LEP security officers.

Artemis had believed this all to be a bit much, especially when initial genetic scans had revealed nothing out of the ordinary and that the boy seemed to be in perfect health.

And that was where the flag was raised; the boy wasn't just healthy, he was _perfectly_ healthy.

And this lead Artemis to where he was now, staring at a heavily magnified scan of the boy's cellular structure, which upon closer inspection was most certainly out of the ordinary. This was highlighted further when they had first taken him into a dimmed hospital room and noticed the subtle silver-white glow coming off his skin.

"That's impossible..." he muttered as he watched the interaction of the cells on screen as Butler re-entered carrying some beverages on a tray. He set them down on the table by his charge and began pouring. He placed one mug down by Artemis, "Thank you, Butler." He muttered offhandedly, absently sipping the drink.

Holly Short's elfin hearing had easily picked up the boy's quiet words. "'_Impossible?' _Is the great Artemis Fowl admitting he's stumped?" she prodded, accepting a drink from the bodyguard, who then gave one to the other occupant of the room; his younger sister, Juliet, who was currently leaning against the Plexiglas window and observing the deep sea creatures that fluttered about outside.

Artemis glanced at Holly irritably for a second, then went back to his screen. "Hardly. But if you'd like to come and see for yourself, I'm sure even _you_ will be able to see just how perplexing this really is."

The elf sighed and strolled over to the human's side to take a look at the plasma screen built into the desk that he was poring over.

She eyed the image of the two floating cells, frowned, and glanced up at her human friend. "And? What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?"

Artemis let out a tired sigh. "These are a pair of normal human skin cells. Same as me and –well, maybe not you—but you get the idea."

Holly inclined her head acceptingly in response. "Okay, so what's the problem?"

Artemis pointed to a small section of the cells. "These are mitochondria. You know what those are, don't you?"

Holly nodded. "The cell's power source, right? It keeps them going."

"Very good. Yes; they power the cells, giving them the necessary power to do their jobs. They facilitate cell division and everything else that's needed."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

He nodded, touched the screen, and the image slid to the side, revealing an almost identical pair. "And _these_ are our friend's..."

Holly's eyes traced the screen, her brow screwing up. "Sorry, I don't see anything different."

Artemis nodded. "And you wouldn't. I didn't see anything either, at least not at first." He touched another control and the cells reappeared alongside each other. Below each image was a pair of jagged line graphs.

"Translation?" Holly enquired simply.

Artemis indicated the top line in the graph below the images. "These two graphs represent the average energy output of the cells. Now, you'll note that while our friend's may be somewhat higher, it's not too far into what one would call abnormal."

Holly nodded. "They do look pretty much the same. But what about the other two lines?" she asked, pointing to the other bar.

Artemis inclined his head, expecting the question. "_Those_ are measuring the energy output from the cell's mitochondria alone."

Holly frowned. "But the one from the boy's, it's-"

"_Flat_." Artemis nodded. "I know."

"But that would mean-"

"Every single mitochondria in his body is dormant. They've simply stopped," Artemis finished.

Holly glanced between the two images. "Is that even possible?"

Artemis nodded. "Yes, very possible; if you're as dead as a stone, that is."

"But he's alive." Holly stated obviously.

"Oh, very much so."

"So, you're saying what's _weird_ is that his cells are putting out the same amount of energy as the normal ones, even without a power source?"

He smiled in response. "Very good, Holly. Yes, normally only single-celled life forms can exist in such a state. But as you can see, our friend is a life form of the many_-_celled variety."

Holly ran a finger along the tip of her ear in thought. "So...His cells are working in a different way than a normal human's?"

Artemis shook his head. "No, they're running just as expected. It took a few moments to figure it out, but I worked it out all the same in the end."

"Worked _what _out? Look, Artemis, I'm no biologist, so make it quick. All this science stuff is making my head spin."

The boy rolled his mismatched eyes and punched another control on the screen. "Here; this is an overlay simulating the flow of energy in the _normal _cells." The image zoomed in and, indeed, there was a flow of yellow, like a bloodstream, coming out of the mitochondria, through the nucleus and around the cell.

"Yes, it's very pretty, Artemis. Now what's your point?"

He smirked. "This is." He punched another button and the image of the sleeping child's cells came up.

The difference was so striking it caused Holly to stifle a gasp. Butler, who had been listening with detached interest, leaned in for a peek.

"What...is this?" Holly breathed.

The cells looked the same, but the flow of energy was completely different. The patch that represented the mitochondria was greyed out, and instead the energy was flowing _inwards_ from outside the cell and causing the functions to carry on as normal.

Artemis spoke up. "Every cell in his body is being powered _externally_."

Holly shook her head in confusion. "Externally? What does that mean, Artemis?"

He cocked his head and manipulated the controls again. "I've rigged up some LEP sensors that are normally used to detect rogue magic use. I adapted the filters slightly to pick up on the same kind of energy that's powering his cells. Now watch what happened when I overlaid the filter on the camera watching our slumbering friend..."

The recording of the sleeping child changed as a black film spread over it. Holly's eyes went wide at the sight that now lay before her.

Tendrils of energy were flowing seemingly out of every direction and gathering around the shape of the sleeping boy, who, with the filter on, looked like a humanoid mass of glowing white light.

"Wow..." Juliet poked in, leaning over Holly's head. "Freaky."

"Is it magic?" Butler asked.

Artemis inclined his head. "Or something very similar to it. I've only seen something like this when a fairy performs their power-restoring ritual and absorbs power from the earth itself. But the difference here is that the flow of energy is constant. It's as if he's absorbing some kind of natural energy from the surrounding air and using it as a source to power his body."

Holly glanced at Artemis. "You're right, that _is_ impossible."

He shook his head. "That's just the beginning. Watch this." He clicked a button and the image of the two pairs of cells reappeared. "One of the normal cells is reaching the end of its lifecycle, and you all know what happens now, right?"

"Of course," Butler said.

"Don't lie, brother," Juliet chided gently, nudging her brother with an elbow.

The boy smiled. "Holly?"

She frowned in thought. "It divides, right?"

"Precisely; cellular mitosis." As he spoke, the cell split itself, a new one forming and the remaining fragment dying off. The image was then replaced with a pair of the child's cells. "Now, watch what happens here." The failing cell, as opposed to splitting off, was engulfed by the energy that fed it for a second, which then pulled away and solidified into a perfect copy of the original healthy cell as the original died off.

"What happened?" Holly asked.

"Cellular _replication_." Artemis replied simply. "As opposed to simply dividing as a means of reproducing, that force is creating perfect duplicates of the original cells."

"Is it really that important?" Butler spoke up, "His body operates a little differently, but you said it all works the same way, right?"

The child prodigy shook his head in response. "No, old friend, for you're missing out on one very important fact, _pivotal_ actually."

"And that is?"

"Human cells have a preset number of times they can divide. You can only make a copy of a copy so many times before it fades. As cells lose their ability to divide, the person begins to ail and die. But it's not that way with him, because his cells have simply stopped dividing under their own power."

"You can't seriously be implying—"Holly interrupted as realisation dawned.

"His hair is growing, his skin cells flake off and die, but Holly...he's not _ageing._"

The elf shook her head. "Artemis, that's utterly impossible. The People can live for centuries, sustained by their magic, but even we haven't conquered that aspect of death."

Artemis inclined his head. "I realise that. But _he _has. Don't ask me _how_, because –and I very rarely use these three words together in a sentence—I don't know."

Juliet twirled a curl of her blonde hair, her expression blank. "Umm, Dom, what's Artemis talking about?"

Butler winced reflexively as his sister used the shortened version of his first name. "I think Artemis is saying that the kid has somehow jacked into some kind of fountain of youth."

"'_Fountain of youth'_?" Artemis echoed with a sigh and shook his head. "Well I suppose that's a slightly apt analogy. But there's more..."

Holly groaned. "_More_?"

He nodded. "This is what drew my earlier disbelief. I saw _this_." He clicked a button and suddenly a large batch of spiked green spheres appeared on the screen.

"What are those?" Juliet asked.

"They're cold germs, millions of them. They were on his left hand."

"How'd they get there?"

"You _sneezed_ them there, Juliet, when you first picked him up."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Oh, don't be, else I would've missed this. Here, watch the playback. Those white blotches below the green orbs are simple skin cells that are about to be amassed upon by Juliet's army of germs."

"Hey!"

Artemis ignored the objection and they all watched as the germs settled on the skin cells. As they watched, the energy flow through the cells increased for a second and a wave of light spread out in every direction from the cell walls, utterly vaporising the attacking germs.

"Interesting, no?" Artemis asked with a small smile.

Holly eyed the screen, "What...happened?"

"That energy flow, the one sustaining his life, attacked the germs. It didn't fight them off or assimilate them as normal cells do, it physically _destroyed them_."

"So it's protecting him against germs too?" the elf enquired.

"Precisely, but it's not all germs and bacteria. The regular ones, like the positive bacteria that exist in the stomach, remain untouched. It's _selective_. This energy must also be what's causing that mild luminescence around his skin. There's something a little _off_ about his DNA, also." He added this last part quietly, rubbing his chin in thought.

"What do you mean, _off_?" Holly asked

Artemis was eyeing a double helix of DNA on the screen. "It _looks_ normal, just like everything else about him does on the surface. His chromosomes, his Y ones at least, and any others he'd get from his father, all check out, even down to the most basic level. But it's his X-chromosomes, and any other genetic information that's _traditionally_ passed from the mother, that are a little strange."

Holly squinted at the genetic information as if she could make something of it. "Strange in what way, is it wrong?"

Artemis steepled his hands behind his head and blew out a breath, shaking his head. "No, that's just it; it's right. _Perfect_ would be more accurate. The chromosomes couldn't be more correct if someone had sculpted them."

Holly shrugged. "So what's the problem?"

"Here, this is my DNA," Artemis said, punching a button and bringing up a new double helix. "In a genetic sense, quite ordinary; basic XY genes. Now the People can analyse DNA down to such a fundamental level you can see its basic energy form and how it reacts with the universe itself. You developed this technology as part of your fight against the Spelltropy plague, as you needed to see how tainted magic affected the victim's body." Artemis clicked a button several times and the image zoomed in until the picture was filled with swarming glowing blue speckles on a black background.

"Pretty," Juliet observed.

"Quite. These are my own X-chromosomes at their most fundamental level, in pure energy form, if you will."

"And I'm assuming our mystery guest's look a little different," Holly said.

Artemis smiled. "I wish I could tell you. Watch what happens when I try and view any of the genetic information from his mother's side on such a fundamental level." And at that he began clicking the zoom and enhance button. He got it up to the second level from highest and when he clicked it again data flowed across the screen. It buzzed and an angry red error message shot up, causing the screen to freeze.

Holly stared at the screen in disbelief. "What happened?"

Artemis cocked his head. "It crashed, obviously."

She gritted her teeth. "I can see that, genius. _Why _did it crash?"

"To put it simply, there was too much information."

"Too much?"

"Yes. At that basic, fundamental level, for some reason, his genetic information became what I can only describe as _infinitely complex_. The system simply couldn't comprehend it. But on the surface, they operate as normal, along with the rest of him. He is, on the surface at least, an overly healthy teenage boy."

"Is he dangerous?" Butler asked.

Artemis inclined his head. "I really can't say. I'd have to wake him up to find out."

Holly shook her head. "No way will Trouble okay something like that without getting him in a properly secure location first, especially after what you've stumbled over here, Artemis."

"Accepted."

Butler nodded at the frozen image of the boy. "Aren't they those Retimager devices you used on us once?" he said, indicating the suction cups attached to the tops of his eyes.

Holly glanced at the image. "Yes, Trouble found them on the shuttle and decided to use them to keep our friend under."

"Well, couldn't we just take a look at the things he's seen?"

Artemis frowned. "An excellent idea, old friend. The system will have taken a full retinal print automatically when Commander Kelp put them on our friend here, but the problem is that the human eye takes millions of images in its lifetime; we'd need some kind of search parameter."

Holly shrugged. "You could just run the standard human encounter scan. We use it on incapacitated humans to check if they've seen anything serious and if they're in need of mind-wiping."

"I suppose it couldn't hurt to take a look." Artemis said as he punched the command in and an LEP logo flared up on screen. "I'll need an access code to use the Retimager system. Shall we just use yours, Holly?"

"Alright, I'll just-" Holly moved for the keyboard, but Artemis was already punching in a user ID and password. He hit _enter_ and the voice of Lili Frond, resident LEP bimbo, sounded from the speakers.

_Why, good day, Captain Short. Welcome to the LEP uplink. How can I help you today?_

Holly gave an indignant hiss. Taking a steadying breath, she said, "You hacked my password?"

He scoffed. "I'd hardly call it hacking, using the same word every month and then only changing the digit at the end by a 1. My four-year-old brothers could've cracked it."

"What word was it?" Juliet asked curiously.

"Don't you _dare..._." Holly butted in warningly, fully intending to change her password as soon as she got back to Police Plaza.

Artemis chuckled under his breath, not looking up from his monitor as he accessed the Retimager records. "Don't worry, Holly. I have no intention of telling the world at large your password."

"Oh, _come on_." Juliet pouted, fluttering her eyelashes at the teenager.

Holly gritted her teeth, worried for a second that her friend's hormones would betray him. "He's not saying a word, are you, Artemis?"

His focus was still on the screen as he initiated the search and answered offhandedly. "My lips are sealed...Hmm..." he said, suddenly clicking his tongue as if in thought.

"What is it?" Holly asked, leaning in.

"I was just thinking...Are you _sure_ you put my teeth back in correctly? They feel a little loose."

Holly rolled her eyes, then clenched a fist, cracking her knuckles in a way she knew irritated him. "I could always knock them out again and give it another try. Just lean your head to the side a tad. You may feel a slight punching sensation."

He coughed nervously and shuffled in his chair away from the elf. "I'm sure they're fine. You did a wonderful job, Holly."

She smiled tensely. "_Thank you._"

It was at that moment LEP Commander Trouble Kelp chose to enter the room. "Well, people, so what are we looking at?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. '_What are we looking at'_ he thought with a sigh. _He's got his Commander acorns for a second and already he's turned himself into a walking cliché._

"What we are looking at, Commander, is a mystery." Artemis said.

"I'm going to need more than that. Is the boy a threat, or isn't he?"

"Commander, even a gun is only a threat when put in the wrong hands; else it's just an inanimate object like any other."

"Spare me the lecture, Fowl. Is he _human_?"

Artemis went silent for a moment. "I'm not entirely sure...On the surface he's perfectly normal, but we have spotted several slight irregularities."

Holly scoffed, "_slight __irregularities_? You call being immortal, apparently immune to germs and glowing like a light bulb a _slight_ irregularity_?_"

Trouble gaped at the pair for a moment. "What are you talking about, Captain?"

Holly sighed. "Tell him, Artemis."

The boy sighed in turn and gave the Commander a brief rundown of what he had discovered about the boy.

Being quite military minded, Trouble Kelp's first reaction was one of utter disbelief and dismissal. "You can't really expect me to believe all of this, can you?"

Artemis shrugged. "It's all right there, Commander. To be honest, I didn't believe it myself when I first saw it. I thought perhaps my Atlantis Complex was flaring up and making me hallucinate. I had to count to four a good dozen times before I even accepted what was right in front of me."

Trouble rubbed his brow. "So, what does this mean, then?"

Artemis inclined his head. "I'm afraid we won't really know until he wakes up."

The Commander shook his head. "Alright, how's he doing, then?"

"_Yes_..." Artemis began, standing up and stretching slightly. "It's about time we checked up on our guest's status."

Artemis strode over to a bank of wall monitors and brought up the real-time readouts for the monitoring equipment in the sleeping boy's room. He clicked another control and a small image from the camera showed up.

"_Ah,_" he said somewhat nervously.

"I really don't know what you expect to see, he's out cold." Trouble observed, glancing at the medical instrument readouts as if he could understand them.

"He's also gone," Artemis commented.

There was a disbelieving silence for a second as Artemis pondered the image curiously. "That's _impossible_!" Trouble spat, storming over to the monitors, "Even if he woke up, the door was locked."

Artemis inclined his head. "The door also appears to be gone." He manipulated the camera controls. "No, I stand corrected. There it is; embedded in the corridor wall with what looks like quite a sizable dent in it."

Trouble shoved Artemis unceremoniously aside to look at the image. Artemis immediately began checking through the rest of the instruments. "That's _impossible_!" the commander roared. "How could he even be _awake_?"

"I think I have the answer," Artemis said.

"Of _course_ you do," Trouble responded sardonically.

Artemis didn't dignify the comment with a response. Instead he indicated his screen. "Oh, now that _is_ interesting..."

"_What _is, Mud Boy? Spit it out before I decide to power up my buzz baton."

"About ten to fifteen minutes ago, his brainwave activity began fluctuating violently. Judging by the levels and by the fact he was unconscious, I'd normally associate this activity with a particularly vivid, and more than likely disturbing dream."

"I see. So the kid had a nightmare. What of it?"

Artemis shook his head. "You _don't_ see. Because of it, his brain began releasing massive amounts of neural stimulants and his adrenal gland went into overdrive. You could say his body effectively flushed the sedatives from his bloodstream. That's strange_._ If I didn't know better I'd say his body _knew_ it was sedated and fought back accordingly; that's very impressive. Although, when you keep someone under for over twelve hours like you insisted on doing, Commander, anyone's body would begin to realise something was wrong. Did you remember to request he be kept hydrated?"

"Do I look like a doctor to you? I just told them to keep that room locked and make sure no one go inside. The last thing I needed was a hospital full of people knowing we had a Mud Man among them. That's why we've been keeping you lot stashed up here; I can't risk a panic in a place like this. D'Arvit!" Trouble cursed and marched out the room, returning a moment later with the hospital director in tow; a disgruntled-looking pixie, whose wings were beating up an irritated cacophony as Trouble dragged him in. "All right, doc, punch up the surveillance cameras," he commanded, nodding at the monitors.

The pixie, who was understandably upset at being relegated to the nurse's office next door, blinked his large eyes in confusion. "What cameras?"

Trouble scowled, "The surveillance cameras! We have a situation here!"

"And we don't _have_ any surveillance cameras, except in the entrance and reception area. This is a _hospital_, Commander, not a military installation," he responded, his voice thick with frustration.

Trouble cursed again and tore the cover off his communicator. "This is Kelp. Retrieval One, report in."

"Entryway sector, everything's normal down here, sir," a deep voice sounded.

"Lower floor sectors, everything clear, Commander."

"Top floors are all a-okay, Trubs," A third voice piped in a carefree tone.

"Main wards-" another voice began, but Trouble cut him off.

"Hang on there. Top floor sector, come in."

"Top floor sector. What's up, Trubs?"

Trouble's brow twitched. "Grub... Is that you?"

"Sure is! Didn't you hear? I've been put back on LEPretrieval One as of last week! I thought mommy told you about it."

Trouble let out a pained groan. "I'd hoped she was joking."

"So, what's up, Trubs?"

"It's Commander Kelp! We're on duty, Corporal." He let out a sigh and reopened communications to the rest of the squad. "I want you all to move in and cordon off the secure floor. We have a human on the loose somewhere down there, and I want you all to use extreme caution. He's already smashed his way free of a secure ward, and I don't want him getting off that floor. Is that understood?"

A series of sharp affirmatives sounded in response as Retrieval One began to move.

"And Corporal..." Trouble spoke.

"Yes, Trub-...yes, Commander?"

"Stay out of trouble." He ordered, and before the corporal could threaten to tell their mother, he killed the link.

Trouble went silent for a moment, a silence Artemis chose to interrupt. "Retrieval One? I wasn't aware the squad you sent for was Retrieval One."

"Hmph. It's not like you needed to know, Fowl. I didn't want to take any chances, so I called in our best."

"Your best?" Artemis echoed dryly.

Trouble gritted his teeth. "Shut it, Fowl!" he snapped, and headed back for the door. "I'm going to join the search. Captain Short, stay here and guard the humans."

Holly nodded, but didn't say anything. The reason they were remaining silent, and why Trouble had left, was due to them trying to ignore the metaphorical elephant that was in the room.

If you're wondering what elephant that might be, it would be the fact that the last time the LEP's elite commando unit faced off against a lone human it was against Artemis' bodyguard, Butler. Needless to say, their performance in the battle was somewhat less than exemplary. In fact, the fight had lasted less than thirty seconds and ended with the entire squad being incapacitated before they could get off a single shot, losing a significant amount of LEP weaponry and equipment to Artemis Fowl.

Artemis had not been above gloating about it at the time. And to be honest, it was taking extreme restraint on his part not to do so now.

Artemis would also have bet a substantial amount of his remaining fortune that Commander Trouble Kelp was not, in fact, heading out to join the squad in general, and was instead making a beeline straight for his younger brother before the inept corporal ran headlong into the wandering human.

His instinct would prove to be well founded.

"I'm going, too." Juliet suddenly said, marching for the door.

"Juliet! Just _where_ do you think you're going?" Butler demanded.

Juliet glanced back at her brother. "I'm just going to go talk to him. I mean, how would you feel if you suddenly woke up in some strange alien place without a friendly face to talk to? You'd be terrified, wouldn't you?"

Artemis was slightly taken aback. Juliet's choice of action was rash, but oddly logical. He inclined his head mutely in agreement. Juliet swung about and prepared to march out the door when the boy spoke up. "Wait, Juliet, take these," he said, unplugging a plastic cylinder that had been linked into the fairy console.

Juliet took the capsule and popped it open. "Contact lenses?"

"An iris-cam, modified for human use. I've added the same filter that let us see the energy going into the boy. It should, in theory, lead you right to him."

Juliet slid the lens into her eye and, indeed, behind one of the walls she could see a blurred blotch of white in the distance, several floors down. She grinned. "Cool. Thanks for the present, Artemis." And with that she jogged off down the corridor.

Artemis shrugged. "I was only letting her borrow them..."

Suddenly Holly spoke up. "Where did you steal that iris-cam, Artemis?" she asked suspiciously.

"I did not _steal _it. I'll have you know I constructed that one myself."

"Oh. Wait, how did you get the blueprints?"

"I stole them."

"..."

-Ω-

_This...Is...INSANE._

I contemplated this, wide-eyed, as I slinked down the white corridor with its strange, shimmering neon-blue, tiled flooring.

I slid back out of sight as I spotted another one, another small...I suppose _person_ would be one word I could use to describe the green skinned, pointy-eared figure that strolled past the intersection. The goblin-like creature was twirling a device that resembled a stethoscope and was even wearing an almost-traditional white doctor's coat. I waited as the humming figure disappeared down a door at the end of the corridor.

I hit the control for the door I was pressed up against and ducked inside.

It was some kind of locker room, thankfully empty. Each sky-blue locker had a name tag written in that strange alien language. I was fully dressed, so I didn't need to scavenge any clothes. This was a good thing, as, considering the size of the natives, I doubted I'd find a matching size.

But if it were anything like your average human locker room it might just contain the one thing that was right at the top of my list of priorities at the moment.

At the end of the row of lockers stood a small freestanding podium with a spout at the top. I pressed a control pad and, as expected, it began releasing a steady stream of water.

_Thank the gods for drinking fountains._

I found myself drinking more greedily than Edward when he...

_I swear, Apollo, I would kill you if it were possible. _

I leaned back against a locker and quieted my mind. It was time for the next most important thing on my list.

I listened for the song of the hunt.

_Th-wait...What?_

My eyes opened in confusion, flicking about as I listened. I could hear the hunt, the wild... But...it wasn't _singing_. Its melody was flat. It was _sound_ of the hunt, but it was no song. Like the difference between someone just reading the lyrics to a song and someone actually singing them.

I extended a hand and summoned my bow. It too looked as it usually did, but was subtly, _very _subtly, different. It was as if it had lost part of its sheen, its sparkle.

I felt the words come out my mouth as opposed to being aware I had said them. "Mother... What's happened to you?"

_We can dwell on this later!_

I took a steadying breath, dismissed my bow for now, and left the room.

_Freeze!_

I froze dead.

Further down the corridor, standing just on the edge of my peripheral vision with his back to me, was a small black clad figure wearing some kind of helmet. He held a strange silver weapon gripped tightly in his small hands.

I called back my bow...

-Ω-

Corporal Grub Kelp was having the time of his life. Here he was, out of traffic duty and back in black.

He was still giddy from reading that his application to be reaccepted to Retrieval One had gone through. Little did he know that the only reason this happened was because the new assignment officer was unaware that the part of Grub's record that read _only member of the unit to survive a hostile encounter with the human Butler unharmed_ actually translated to _Grub wasn't worth the effort, so Butler let him go._ And so, when a spot opened up on the squad and the officer picked up the elf's application, he quite happily rubber-stamped it, much to the rest of the team's despair when they found out.

Grub's carefree smile disappeared, and he halted mid-skip when his helmet registered movement in the immediate area.

He heard the hiss of a door opening to his left and immediately swung about, levelling his tri-barrelled neutrino blaster at the source with a cry of, "Freeze, Mud Bag!"

The gremlin doctor froze, flinging his arms into the air.

Grub eyed the doctor and coughed nervously. "Yes, well, carry on, sir."

The doctor edged carefully around the elf, then bolted off down the corridor.

"And you shouldn't even _be_ on this floor! Didn't you know there's a Mud Man on the loose down here?"

The gremlin tripped up in shock, rolling onto his back as he landed, "M-mud man?" he screeched, scrambling to his feet.

"_Yes_! It's also a secret. No one's supposed to know!"

The gremlin blinked. "B-but you just told me."

Grub's mouth opened and closed, and he settled on stabbing his blaster in the air at the elevator behind the doctor. "Never you mind that, civilian! Hop to it, before I arrest you for obstructing police business."

As the doctor complied, Grub silently congratulated himself. _That sounded impressive. I should write that down! _

Suddenly his indicator beeped again. Grub sighed and turned, doubling back through the door the doctor had emerged from and into another corridor.

He took a left bend when the indicator suddenly stopped.

Grub raised his weapon and edged carefully down the corridor. He stopped just past two pairs of locker room doors when his brother's voice sounded over his helmet's com system.

"Corporal Grub, what's your location?"

"Hey, Trubs! I'm currently in the secure wing. Nothing here but a bunch of doctors who're still clearing out."

"Good, hold your position. I'm on my way to assist with the search."

"You are, brother? There's no need, I've got everything under control down here."

"Regardless, I'd feel better leading this one myself."

If Grub hadn't been so busy rolling his eyes and focusing on his brother's voice, then he might have noticed both his movement and proximity indicators flare up, each desperately requesting he pay attention to his six, as the military would phrase it.

The fairy sighed. "If that's what you want, but I swear, it's okay. I've got this one entirely under control."

Famous last words, as fate had picked that exact second to allow a silver arrow to streak through the air and slam into the barrel of Grub's blaster, piercing it clean through. Sparks flew and a stream of liquid coolant sprayed out.

Grub let out an almost comical squeal of shock as he swung about, squeezing the trigger repeatedly.

The only thing he got in response was a warning error flaring up on his visor, showing a flashing red schematic of his weapon and a list of errors:

**COOLANT SYSTEMS RUPTURED.**

**NEUTRINO CHAMBER EXPOSED. **

**SAFETY PROCEDURES ACTIVATED. **

**NUCLEAR BATTERY DISABLED.**

**WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEND AN ERROR REPORT TO HELP PREVENT THIS HAPPENING IN FUTURE?**

Grub whimpered and lowered his weapon slightly to see a black-clad figure armed with a silver bow regarding him silently from down the corridor. He slowly lowered the weapon and began advancing on the corporal.

"Corporal? Corporal! _GRUB!_ What's going on down there? I just got a dozen alerts from your suit's systems!" Trouble's voice blared as the elf in question stood frozen like a deer in headlights.

His response was little more than a whimper. Trouble accessed his brother's helmet camera, something already done by Artemis, who had rightly predicted that if trouble found _anyone_ in the squad, it would be Grub Kelp.

"D'arvit!" The commander swore as he saw what his brother did. "Mesmer, Grubb! Use your Mesmer!"

Grub's fingers, trembling too hard to find the visor release, tore his helmet completely off. Fighting to meet his opponent's eyes, he screamed "_STOP!_" in a high-pitched wail, laced with faerie magic, then with a whimper, "...Please?"

-Ω-

I had every intention of wringing the information I needed out of the small creature as I calmly approached him, when he suddenly yanked off the strange helmet he had been wearing. He looked up at me with terrified, tear-filled eyes and cried out for me to halt.

Now, the fact that he had said it in English wasn't what gave me pause; it was just how good an idea it seemed to be. After all, who _wouldn't_ want to stop after being asked by such a nice guy, and in such a wonderful voice, and he even said _please, _as if he had to.

I shrugged and stopped. "Sure," I said with a smile, not wanting to upset my new friend.

My buddy looked at me in fear for some reason, though I'm not sure why; it's not like I'd ever do anything to hurt him.

-Ω-

Grubb glanced up at the human, who was smiling contentedly. "Umm... So, you're going to come along quietly, okay?"

"Sure thing!" he said with a beaming smile. "Quietly, quiet as the grave, not a whisper!"

A smile spread across the corporal's face as a well of pride swelled inside of him that he simply couldn't contain. "I did it! I actually did it! First I defeated the great Butler in one-on-one-combat, and now I've caught another human! I actually won!"

"You sure did!" The _mesmer_ised human said, giving the corporal a double thumbs-up. "You got me good!"

Grubb coughed, regaining a mask of smug composure. "This way, human. You will follow," he said regally, extending a hand down the corridor and leading the way.

"You're the boss, boss...Ah...ARGH!" The elf paused and turned around to look at the human. He was frozen to the spot; his hand clasped over one eye as if straining against something.

-Ω-

_What exactly do you think you're doing?_

I have to go with-

_He's the enemy! Have you forgotten? We've got to get out of here and get home!_

But he'd never...never lie to me!

_Have you lost your mind?_

N-no...It's just...

_What's wrong?_

It _hurts_...I've got to...Listen to him...Got to...follow.

_So that's it... He's got control over your mind. That suits me just fine. If he's got your mind, then I'll just take the body._

Don't...Understand...

_Don't worry, just stay calm and keep smiling; you're doing everything you've been told to by your green friend. I can't believe it's come down to this, though. I never thought you'd draw me this close to the surface in order for me to have to do this._

Do what?

_Just relax; I'll take care of everything. For the rest of this little encounter...I'm taking over._

-Ω-

The human exhaled a slow breath as his hands fell down to his sides and slowly stood back up to full height. His eyes opened again and locked square onto the nervous elf. The boy's silver eyes were now almost scarily vacant, and he looked _different_ in a way Grub couldn't make out from this distance, but he still had that foolish grin plastered on his face, so the elf wasn't unduly worried. Some humans reacted strangely to the mesmer.

After a second, the human began walking very slowly towards the elf.

"H-human?"

"Yes, boss?" he said, smile unmoving.

"Y-you've still got to follow, right? You know that? You're not allowed to do anything to hurt me, got it?" Grubb stammered, layering his voice with as much of the hypnotic Mesmer as he could.

The human nodded emphatically. "Of course! You're my friend, why would I hurt you?"

Grubb should've listened to his own instinct at this point, as opposed to nervously standing still so close to the human. He really shouldn't have paused to wipe his brow either, as he missed the shadow of the boy's leg rising up sideways into the air.

Grubb opened his eyes just in time to catch the end of the roundhouse kick that struck him head on in the chest. If it weren't for his suit's defence most of his ribs would've shattered under the impact, but even Foaly's technology didn't stop the blow from sending him bouncing down the corridor like a football.

Grubb cried out in pain as his shoulder cracked off one wall, then off the floor, then off the ceiling, and then finally coughing out a cry as he landed flat on his chest.

His concentration broken, the hold on the human's mind was gone, giving the thing currently in control full reign over his body. He crouched down and pounced forwards, bolting after Grub in a crouched run, switching between all fours and leaping between the two walls.

Grub rolled back and jumped away as the boy landed, crouched low to the ground, an animalistic snarl on his face. It was only then that the elf saw the change in the human's eyes. For a second he thought his Mesmer had just damaged the boy's pupils, but that wasn't it. The pupils were elongated, like an animal.

Like a wolf.

As his magic went to work healing his internal injuries, Grub summoned what power he could and spoke again, his voice layered with the hypnotic Mesmer. "S-stop, human! I'm telling you! You have to stop and do as I say!"

The human's face twitched into a smirk. "Sorry, my little green friend, but 'human' isn't in just now. Feel free to leave a message after the bone crunching cracks you're about to hear."

Grubb was too terrified to even whimper when he caught sight of the form at the end of the corridor shimmer into near invisibility.

-Ω-

Commander Kelp had turned into the corridor just in time to see his brother get punted the length of the entire floor.

He fought the urge to call out to his brother. His training told him a sneak attack was what was needed in these circumstances.

The boy was swaying erratically in a crouched position over his brother, meaning if he fired his neutrino from this range he might just as easily hit Grubb as the human. There was only one thing for it.

He shielded, sliding his baton free.

He wasn't wearing any kind of special suit to assist his camouflage, just his regular commander's uniform, so the shimmer in the air, created by his body vibrating at ultra-high frequencies, was visible. Just barely visible, but it was there. Still, as long as the human kept his back turned...

-Ω-

Grubb held his breath as he saw the shimmer approach the human from behind. He heard the subtle buzz of a baton powering up.

The boy tensed suddenly, his brow screwing into a confused frown.

He sniffed the air, muttering, "Ozone..."

Grubb tensed as the boy suddenly locked eyes with him, watching his gaze with terrifying scrutiny.

Against his will, Grub's eyes flicked, just for an instant, to the shimmering form.

The boy's eyes in turn glanced to the side out of his peripheral. A smile twitched on his lips.

He raised an elbow slowly.

"He knows you're there!" Grubb cried out, finding his voice a second too late, as the child swung about, driving his elbow in the approximate direction of the scent he had detected.

It was a lucky shot to say the least, hitting Trouble square in the gut and sending him flying to the ground. His shield disappeared instantly, his hand losing grip on the baton, which went spinning into the air. The human, without hesitation, grabbed the twirling weapon out of the air and slammed it down into Trouble Kelp's mid-section. The faerie convulsed, his back arching, then collapsed into unconsciousness.

The human didn't even seem to hesitate as he continued his movement, swung back around, and struck the downed Grubb with the baton at the base of his neck, leaving both of the Kelp brothers well and truly incapacitated.

The boy stood back up to full height and clicked his neck from side to side, then surveyed the surroundings. "How troublesome... It would appear I've incapacitated our source of information. Perhaps I got a little tooexcited." He paused to smile slightly, looking at his hands. "What an exasperating life you lead, my friend. Best of luck..."

-Ω-

I staggered back, using the wall for support.

I shook my head to clear it. The last thing I remembered was being given some kind of supernatural whammy by the green-skinned fellow and being happy to walk along to possible doom. Next thing I knew was my instinct forcing me to disobey. Its voice became deafening, drowning everything out, even my own consciousness, and suddenly I was submerged in a blindingly complex blur of images, scents, sounds and actions.

I glanced about at my surroundings. The only other people here were two extremely battered-looking small creatures. The one against the door seemed particularly beaten. The other, the one in the dress uniform, appeared to be in a slightly better way.

_For what it's worth; that was entirely self-defence. Now snap out of it and start moving!_

I would comply, but first I wanted a closer look. I had to make sure they weren't_ dead_ too.

-Ω-

"This is insane..." Holly breathed out as she watched the proceedings through the camera on Grubb's upturned helmet. "He broke through the Mesmer!"

Artemis had remained composed, watching on with great intrigue. "Hmm..."

Holly held her breath as the boy began walking towards the downed Trouble. He regarded him silently for a second before crouching down and tilting the elf's head to the side. He pressed two fingers to the side of his neck, nodded and stood back up.

"What's he doing?"

Artemis inclined his head. "It appears he's checking their vitals." As he spoke, the other boy was already giving Grub the once over. Artemis could see the bewilderment on the child's face as he observed the lattice of blue sparks playing over the downed elf's chest.

He stood up again after a moment and turned his attention to the elevator door. He punched the call button, but without a code or scan the elevator refused to respond.

He took a step back and eyed the door ponderingly, his foot tapping in thought.

"He won't get off that floor. The elevators on that floor are all in full lockdown. They'll only open to hospital staff and LEP officers. Retrieval One should be on him any second."

"I wouldn't speak so soon, Holly," Artemis muttered, watching as the boy glanced at the retina scanner, glanced over at the downed Trouble, then back again. He shrugged, eyebrows raised, turned about and picked up the unconscious commander by the shoulders.

"Ah," Holly said, watching as the human lifted the commander's face to the scanner. The elevator opened a second later. He turned about, dropped the commander, mouthed what was obviously a 'thank you', slapped one of the lift buttons, and was gone.

"Ah, indeed."

Holly groaned, massaging her temples as she slumped against the monitor. "And now we have a problem..."

"To use the old vernacular: he won't get far, Holly. This is still a ship and we are still miles under the ocean. I've locked and secured all the escape pods and life rafts. I've even locked the bridge down under a special access code, just in case he tries to hijack the entire hospital."

"He could still do a lot of damage before he realises where he is and decides to stop and listen. This is a _hospital_, Artemis."

"He's like a predator," Butler suddenly said, having remained even more silent than usual whilst observing the boy. "And the most dangerous kind of predator, at that: a cornered one. He'll treat everything he sees as a potential enemy and disable it until he's satisfied he's safe. I would be acting the same way in his situation if I were to awake in a strange locked room to discover the place is filled with alien creatures with advanced technology. As far as he's concerned, he's in enemy territory, plain and simple."

Artemis nodded in agreement. "And Commander Kelp hasn't exactly helped the situation. We should never have brought him here. If only the council had let me bring him back to Fowl Manor."

"Well there's nothing we can do about it now. What we need to do now is think of a way to resolve the situation quickly. Preferably _before_ he kills someone," said Holly sternly.

"Oh, I don't think that will happen," Artemis responded with his usual confidence, regarding his screen. "He seems to be attacking, as Butler said, to disable. If he had wanted to kill the corporal and Commander Kelp, then he would have done so," Artemis explained, pausing to ponder something. "What intrigues me is this..." he said, maximising the image he had been looking at.

An enlarged image of Grub's rifle filled the screen, skewed through the barrel by a single silver arrow. "I thought he was disarmed..." Artemis said ponderingly, eyeing another image recorded earlier, of the boy holding a bow.

"He was," Holly said, glancing at the boy's possessions resting on the desk at the back of the room. "The only weapon he had was that weird bronze sword. I think we'd have noticed something like _that_,_"_ she said, pointing a finger at the silver bow.

"Butler, what do you make of this?" Artemis asked, indicating the image of the destroyed weapon to his friend.

Butler leaned in and eyed the picture. "Never seen an arrow like it; almost looks metallic. It _looks _like a standard broad-headed arrow. You normally see them used in game hunting. I'd say for an arrow to go clean through like that, that it would have to be fired from a bow with a draw weight of at least a hundred and twenty pounds."

"Is that a lot?" Holly asked.

Butler cocked his head. "Your average hunting bow has a draw weight of maybe thirty. I've never seen one of that size constructed to take that much strain without simply shattering into splinters."

"So, it would seem our friend has, at some point, within that hospital room, found himself a bow of strange construction, with a draw weight beyond the strength that someone his size should be able to wield, and somehow by _this _point..." he reversed the video to show the boy in the elevator. "...made it disappear."

"Magic?" Holly asked.

Artemis shrugged. "It wouldn't surprise me."

"So..." Butler began. "He has a magic bow?"

"Logically, that would seem to be the case. It's no doubt all tied in with all of _this,_" Artemis said, extending a hand at the screens that still showed the child's DNA.

"Added to that, he's also taken the commander's buzz baton," Holly said with a sigh."How's Juliet doing?"

"I was just about to check," Artemis replied, opening a voice channel. "Juliet, what's your status?"

Silence greeted him.

"Juliet, can you hear me?" Artemis pushed.

"You think something's happened?" asked Holly. Artemis could feel Butler tense up behind him.

The boy then gave another tired sigh as he reached across the desk and picked up a small skin-coloured plug. "It would, of course, be helpful if she'd remembered to take her earpiece with her. Well, at least we can still see what she's seeing," he said, typing in a few commands. Suddenly, the screen was filled with Juliet's first-person view.

"Seems she's okay," Holly observed. Juliet was just coming off an elevator; she glanced occasionally at a moving blur of white that she could see imposed on a wall.

"She's still tracking him," Butler said. "Can you find out where she is?"

Artemis nodded and glanced at the iris-cam's locator beacon. "Three floors down from here, on the supply deck." The young genius could sense his old friend's yearning to rush out and protect his sister. "Don't worry, Butler. Juliet is more than capable of taking care of herself."

Butler tried to make himself appear reassured. He didn't succeed.

-Ω-

I was on some kind of supply level; that much I could tell. The small rooms that lined the corridor were filled with boxes and silver-wrapped packets on shelves.

I passed through a doorway at the end of the corridor and into a large warehouse-like storage area with a tall ceiling, darkened due to the poor light. The only real source of illumination was the light pouring in from the corridor. The room appeared to be a kind of crossroads, as each of the four walls had an opening with a corridor leading off.

As I stepped in, I caught a scent carried on the current of circulated air.

_Sweet...Like fruit? No, more like...perfume, like...hairspray, like...Girl._

I glanced around for cover. On the ground there wasn't much, so I dashed over to the shelves, leaped up and sprung upwards at a high wall above one of the doorways. I spread my arms and legs out, bracing myself up between the wall and one of the shelves like a spider.

The sound of carefree humming began to drift through the air. Whoever it was obviously didn't care about masking their approach.

Seconds later a mop of blonde curls tied back into a braid appeared in the doorway below me. She took two steps into the room and stopped.

My brow clenched as she suddenly began giggling into her hand. The laughing stopped after a second. Still looking straight ahead, she spoke in a humorous tone. "So, what? Are you going to pounce on me or something?" She paused to giggle again. "It's rude to jump a lady, you know." At that she turned her head about and looked directly at me. A pair of green eyes met mine as she put on a warm smile. "Hey there! My name's Juliet. What's yours?"

-Ω-

Artemis watched through Juliet's iris cam. He had sent a single text message to the iris-cam's display. It had simply read:

_Trouble and Grub down. He's dangerous. Come back?_

The fact that she had received the message and carried right on without missing a step obviously said that she was confident enough in herself to deal with the situation successfully. It was a shame Butler didn't share her optimism, but then he always had been the overprotective sort. It was one of the things that made him such an excellent bodyguard.

-Ω-

Juliet frowned. "Come on, then, don't you know it's impolite not to give your name when a lady introduces herself?"

He gritted his teeth and grudgingly muttered, "Armani."

Juliet let out another giggle and clapped her hands happily. "Yay! That wasn't so hard, was it, Armani? I love your name, by the way. Very designer and all that. Now you can ask me something."

He frowned, but played along. "Very well, I'll start with the obvious. Where in Hades _am_ I?"

Juliet ignored the strange phrasing of the question and tapped a manicured nail on her chin. "Hmm, I suppose I'd best begin by asking, what would you say if I said that fairies, leprechauns, elves and all that stuff were real?"

He raised a single eyebrow. "I'd say hallucinogenic drugs are never the way, come on, there are people who love you, now let's have an intervention," the boy responded blandly.

Juliet heaved a sigh. "Okay, this is going badly. If I just up and told you that you were on a fairy ship under the ocean, next to the lost city of Atlantis, would you be satisfied?"

"I would not."

"No," she sighed, resting her hands on her hips. "Didn't think so."

"If you're not going to tell me the truth, then I strongly suggest you _stand aside_," Armani said warningly. His stance changed, legs clenching in preparation to spring.

Juliet pouted. "_No_. I found you, which means you have to calm down and be nice."

Juliet didn't catch his response, but was sure it involved something to do with blondes.

"Sorry, little girl, but I'm not in a _calm and nice_ kind of mood. Now step aside before I'm forced to hurt you."

Juliet glowered back in response. "Firstly, I'm _eighteen_, not a little girl. Secondly...Well, that's not going to happen," she said with a small, daring smile.

-Ω-

_Looks like I have to go through her._

I eyed the girl. She was slightly bigger than me. For a second her blonde hair and fiery green eyes reminded me of someone else...

_Focus!_

I shoved the distracting thought aside and resumed my assessment. She was of average stature. She wore loose-fitting jeans and a white tee-shirt bearing the words _**Jade Princess: Champion 2010**_. From what I could see of her arms, they were slim, but with extremely well-toned muscles. She was obviously a lot stronger than she liked to let on. I also observed that, despite her lax posture, with each of my movements she would subtly alter her centre of gravity to compensate, effectively staying perfectly on guard. She was obviously well-trained.

"Oh! Oh!" She suddenly said excitedly, raising a hand.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "What now?"

"How about this; I'll wrestle you."

I blinked disbelievingly. "Come again?"

"If I get the three count, or you tap out, then you have to stay and do what I say. If _you_ win, you can go on your merry way."

I regarded her silently for a moment, not entirely sure if she was being serious or not, but considering I was probably going to have to fight my way past her anyway..."Very well. But no tricks."

I released my grip on the wall and slid down to the floor. I approached her slowly, and she matched my movements. We effectively ended up circling for a moment, and then stopped, facing each other.

Suddenly Juliet raised her arms up. "In this corner! The reigning champion, eternal fan favourite, in her first hardcore street fight against the mysterious stranger from-"

"What are you doing?"I enquired dryly.

She paused and glared at me. "It's for the fans, stupid. They need an introduction."

I glanced about at the empty room. "What fans?"

She carried right on. "-mysterious stranger from a faraway land! It's the Jade Princess! And in the-"

"You wear a T-shirt with your _own name_ on it?"

"Sh...shut up! And in the opposite corner, the inexperienced newcomer! Don't let his small size and girly face fool you, folks. Yes, he may look like a wimp, but this kid means business! Having already scored a double knockout against the Kelp brothers in a two-on-one handicap match this very evening, it's the mysterious Armani!"

"Could I be more insulted? No, I don't think I could."

"Ding!" Juliet chimed, miming the act of striking a bell with a hammer.

"So...can we fight now?" My answer to this enquiry was a sudden, brutal clothesline to the neck.

-Ω-

Artemis rolled his eyes. He didn't have audio, but from the wild gestures Juliet was making he had a pretty good idea what she was up to. "Don't tell me she's going to-"

Butler groaned and nodded. "She is."

Both watched as Juliet knocked the unprepared boy to the floor. He recovered instantly, and the image spun as Juliet was struck in the chest and sent flying back.

Artemis heard Butler hiss as the boy dashed off-screen. Juliet was glancing about just as she was struck from behind, lifted up and sent hurtling into a box of Atlantean food supplies.

She recovered quickly and grabbed her opponent in her arms, twisting about and into a body slam. Her showmanship was obviously taking precedence, as she chose to send him crashing into another pile of boxes for effect as opposed to breaking his bones off the hard floor.

They both watched as the pair exchanged blows for several moments, each using increasingly extravagant fighting techniques, when Artemis slapped his hands down on the desk and pushed himself smoothly up, glaring straight ahead.

"This whole situation is starting to get out of hand."

"_Starting?_" Holly echoed incredulously. "Just which growing catastrophe have you been watching?"

"I expected the Retrieval squad to be dispatched, but I didn't factor in the possibility that Juliet could be defeated."

Holly glanced at the screen. "They look to be about even so far, and I bet Juliet isn't even getting warmed up."

"Butler, are my assumptions correct?" Artemis asked.

He nodded grimly. "Juliet's probably going at about half of what she's got, but I can't see the boy putting any effort into it whatsoever, and yet they're both about even. I hate to say this about my sister, but...he's toying with her."

The young Irishman breathed a tired sigh. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this; Butler..."

"Yes, Artemis?"

"Resolve this, would you?" He didn't really need to ask, since he knew his bodyguard was only waiting for his permission.

He nodded once. "Thank you." And with that, the manservant was out the door with a speed you would think impossible for someone of his size.

Artemis was still for a moment or so, then headed for the door himself. "And where do you think you're going?" Holly demanded.

Artemis paused. "I wish to talk with him. The head start should give Butler enough time to calm everything down before we arrive."

"In case you don't remember, the commander ordered me to stay and guard you."

A small smile twitched at the corner of his lips. "Of course. That's why you're coming with me."

Holly groaned painfully as she grabbed her equipment belt off the table and followed. "I swear, you're making me grow old before my time, Artemis."

"Nonsense. You don't look a day over seventy-five."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Arty."

-Ω-

I flipped myself up and carried straight into a spinning kick that Juliet dodged nimbly, drawing herself back into a crouch, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

I halted, frowning. "_What?_"

"What was up with that kick? We're wrestling, not Kung-fu fighting!"

"_Kung-fu fighting?_ Who even says that anymore?"

"Honestly, you'll never get into the WWE like that."

"Oh no, my dreams, _shattered_," I muttered.

"Well, if you want to go no-holds-barred..." she said, pulling herself up to full height.

Juliet charged, skidding to a halt to dodge the punch I was throwing. She then grabbed me by the shirt and drove a knee into my chest. She swung about, backhanding me across the cheek and sending me reeling backwards.

_So she's finally decided to stop holding back, has she?_

She used my disorientation to tackle me to the ground. She pounced on me, pinning me to the floor with her elbow and knee.

"One..." She said with a grin. "Two..."

I glanced behind her. "Look! It's Vince McMahon!"

"Where?" she gasped excitedly.

I used the momentum of her glance over her shoulder to send the girl spinning off me with a well-placed kick to the chest.

She landed in a crouch, glaring angrily at me as I rose to my feet. "That was low!"

I shrugged. "Hey, you're the fan favorite. Doesn't that make me the bad guy by default?"

She grinned. "Of course, and you should know; the favorite _always_ wins in the end. I didn't want to have to use this, but..." At that she charged me head on.

_Is she nuts?_

At the last second she drove her heel in, and fell forwards onto her hands, twisting sideways and sending her blonde braid whipping out to the side.

Through the blur of her movements I caught sight of a green shape attached to her hair flying towards my head from the side.

_The hair! Watch out for the hair!_

My hand shot out reflexively and grabbed hold of the stone ring that was about to shatter three of my back teeth. I kicked out at her exposed back, pinning her to the floor face-down.

_Close...Very close..._

"A jade ring? Why, how very apt... _Princess,_" I said, pressing my foot down as I held the ring up, keeping her braid taut.

Juliet looked too stunned to move even if it were possible as she looked back at me over her shoulder. "You caught it...No one _ever_ catches it."

I grinned. "I'm not _no one_. So tell me, Jade Princess; isn't it about time for you to tap out?"

Her face seemed to be about to form a scowl, but then it changed into a smile, and not a very nice one. It was the sort of smile I usually see right before someone stabs me with something.

"I told a lie," she said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my brow creasing into a frown.

"I said that no one ever catches it. That's not strictly true. There is _one_ other person who's caught the jade ring before."

"_Interesting_, although I fail to see how that bit of trivia applies in your current situation."

She raised her eyebrows. "It doesn't... but it will in another two seconds."

_To the right!_

Again, time seemed to slow as I glanced to the side. My eyes widened in shock, my hand losing grip of the ring as I was hit in the face by what I can only describe as a bulldozer in a business suit.

-Ω-

Every ounce of wind had been knocked out of me by the huge man's full-body tackle.

I cried out in pain, using nearly all the strength I had to force off the two hundred and fifty pound weight that was pinning me down.

The instant there was a gap, I slid out and sprang to my feet, leaping a good distance back for safety.

The man stood up to full height too, and when you're less than five foot four yourself, being towered over by a person who must be pushing seven foot was somewhat imposing, to say the least.

_Careful. Be _very_ careful with this one. I barely caught his approach until the last second._

The man eyed me warily, and then turned to the girl. "Are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.

Juliet shrugged his hand off. "I didn't need your help, you know; you've totally interrupted my match, brother."

_Brother?_

He shrugged. "Fine, if that's how you want it..." he said, grabbing her wrist and slapping the palm of her hand with his. "_Tag._"

"But this isn't a...Oh, _whatever_. You love to spoil my fun, don't you?"

"I'm hurt," he said in a most unhurt tone as he turned back to me. "Now then, are you going to calm down, young man?"

"Are you going to stand aside?" I asked, cocking my head.

He inclined his own large head back. "Unfortunately not. There are lots of sick people here, and we can't very well have you running round disturbing them."

I sighed and retook a fighting stance. "That's unfortunate. Two on one now, is it? Not the worst odds I've ever faced."

The large man sighed back in response. "If you insist, I'll play, but just you and me, one on one. The girl stays out of this."

I shrugged. "Works for me."

He raised his hands. "Come on, then."

"Armani Dove," I said simply.

"Hmm?"

"That's my name, and you?"

He nodded with a small smile. "Butler."

I frowned. "_Butler_?"

His smile became a smirk. "It's a family name. I'm afraid my given name is not something I give out freely."

"Alright, _Butler_, here comes." And without another word I attacked. Aiming for his high centre of gravity, I leaped up into a roundhouse kick...and bounced clean off.

_Alright... Looks like this may take some effort._

I sprang off his wide chest into another kick, bouncing off again and again. By the fifth spin I knew I'd probably just get dizzy before this walking hulk would fall. Although he didn't budge, each kick caused his teeth to clench.

_This man's a breed apart; I know I'm hurting him, but I'm not shifting him a millimeter._

After a good thirty seconds of aerial acrobatics, I spring boarded back off him and landed, staggering back, slightly out of breath. "Okay...So you're not half bad."

Butler rubbed his chest with huge palm. "That...was painful. You know, for a little guy you sure do pack a punch."

I was jumping up to punch him square in the jaw when his hands lashed out and grabbed me by the shoulders, holding me suspended in the air like a doll caught in a vice. "Sorry, friend, but I think you've had enough fun for one day."

_Not good._

I would've thanked my instincts for stating the obvious had Butler not released one of my shoulders and then, lifting me up with one hand, slam dunked me down through a series of shelves and crates. The entire structure gave way and collapsed down on me like a piece of badly-made flatpack furniture.

_Chalk one up for simple brute strength_.

Through the haze and spots now swimming in front of my eyes, I was only dimly aware of a hand the size of a shovel reaching into the darkness and pulling me free.

-Ω-

I had tried resisting more, really, but when someone like him has you held by the scruff of the neck like a mischievous cat, it doesn't last long.

So in the end, how did he subdue me? Was it using a series of well-placed, violent blows? A jab to the neck, perhaps? Or maybe by some great feat of martial arts? No, he did nothing of the sort. So how did he subdue me?

He _sat_ on me.

_I cannot help but feel somewhat disgruntled._

Every time I struggled, Butler would jab at one of my pressure points with clinical precision and my limbs would tense up rigidly. "Let. Me. GO! Gods, I just want to go home!" I shouted, glaring angrily up at the man as I struggled in vain. I let out one last cry of exhortation then collapsed onto my face. "Well, this is just _spiffing. _Lost Zeus knows where, in a strange place filled with heavily-armed members of the Lollypop Guild, and beaten by a Laestrygonian giant in a tuxedo!"

"Laestrygonian giant?" Butler's deep voice echoed.

I thought he was speaking to me, but he was answered by a chillingly smooth voice. It sounded Irish spliced with a tinge of Oxford. "Creatures from Greek mythology; known for their size, ferocious combat ability and prowess in battle."

"Oh," Butler said, and then lowered his head down into my field of vision. "Thank you_._"

I rolled my eyes. "You forgot to mention they were also cannibals."

Butler smiled slightly. "Who says I'm not?"

I groaned at the remark and, as Butler retracted his head, I found a teenage boy with the palest alabaster skin I'd ever seen regarding me curiously from a few feet away. At his side stood a woman who was clearly of the same species as the two I had dispatched earlier. Her fingers were drumming on the barrel of a silver pistol in her belt.

The raven-haired boy looked down at me with a pair of mismatched eyes. "Good day. Armani, wasn't it? My name is Artemis Fowl, and if you want any hope of ever getting home again, then I suggest you listen to what I have to tell you."

As I lay there, surrounded by blonde wrestlers, giants in suits and pointy eared creatures. I found that as I regarded the pale boy looming over me, the only words that came to mind were...

_Well, at least he isn't sparkling._

-Ω-

_To be continued..._

-XA-

[A/N] Well that was fun, I'll get the beta of chapter two up ASAP, again all thanks to Shrrgnien for her awesome work and making this beta possible.

See you in the Beta of Chapter 2: History and Heist


	2. Chapter 2: History and Heist

[A/N] As promised, the second beta release of this tale is here thanks to Shrrgnien and her watchful eye, and thusly the tale continues...

**A Boy Called Artemis**

**Chapter 2: History and Heist**

After swearing that I'd be a good little half-blood, Butler had kindly vacated his position on the small of my back. From there we had all retired back to an office several floors up. The entire walk up had been tense. The small woman (or whatever she was) had kept her weapon drawn the whole time, and Butler was following behind me with unnerving proximity. Judging by how quickly he had snatched me out the air earlier, I imagined it would have been no great feat for him to lash out and restrain me had I taken even a single speedy step ahead.

Once we entered, Butler had slipped ahead of me and collected some items from a desk at the back of the room, then stood in the corner observing me. It took a second to realise that the items he had collected were in fact my own belongings and sword.

"Huh... so that's where those got to," I observed as Artemis entered and sat down behind the desk, the woman striding to the other corner. She holstered her weapon but didn't allow her hand to stray far from the grip.

Juliet slinked in after them and leaned casually against the wall near her brother.

"Now then," the boy began, eyeing me inquisitively. "I'm sure you have many questions. Why don't you take a seat?" He extended his hand to a well-cushioned chair.

I warily inclined my head and slid down into the seat.

"What about _him_?" I asked, nodding at the man in the corner.

The boy glanced to the side. "Butler? What about him?"

I looked at the man. "Well, shouldn't you get someone to attend to him?" I asked, feeling the question quite obvious.

"What do you-" The boy halted in his questioning and turned to the man in the corner. "_Butler?_" he asked, a clear note of suspicion in his voice.

"I'm still on guard at the moment, Artemis. You can fix me up later." I only then noticed the small sheen of sweat on his face, as if he was holding something in.

The teenage boy picked up a strange cylindrical silver device with a blue screen attached to it from the desk and approached the man. "Hold still," he commanded.

"Really, Artemis, it's fine," Butler said as the device emitted a line of blue light that swept up and down the man's large chest.

The boy glanced at the screen, and his eyes immediately shot back up to Butler's. "You have five broken ribs and you're bleeding internally!" he exclaimed, his composure gone, and I saw genuine concern in his eyes.

"_Oooh!_" I winced. "Sorry...Guess I got a little excited. But seriously, man, how are you even _standing _right now?" I knew my blows had hurt him, but I had no idea a mortal existed with that kind of resilience. He was like a human _road block_.

The small woman shook her head and approached the man. "Come on, Butler. You know what comes next."

He rolled his eyes and relaxed his arms. "You know, sometimes I think I'm made more of magic than man these days."

_Magic?_

"Umm, shouldn't you get him to a doctor or something?" I asked. If he were a half-blood I'd have offered him some ambrosia from my bag (assuming they hadn't pilfered it yet) but I knew if a mortal took even a single bite of the food of the gods it would incinerate them instantly, which was not helpful in the healing process.

"No need," the boy said, sitting down again and resting the device on the desk. "Observe_._"

I was intrigued for a second, so I folded my hands on my lap and watched.

The woman smirked slightly at me out the corner of her eye and rested a small hand on the man's massive chest. She closed her eyes and said one simple word: "Heal."

I was about to make a sarcastic remark involving a magic touch when a web of blue energy began spreading down her arm, through her fingertips and over the man's chest.

Butler tensed up and gasped as the light surged into him and spread across his torso.

_It's the same as before; that same blue energy._

I observed his chest shudder, then relax, and could swear I could almost _hear_ his bones resetting themselves.

The woman pulled her hand back after a moment and wiped a small layer of sweat from her brow. Butler in turn breathed in a large, calming breath of air.

"How's that, big guy?" she asked, winking.

He smiled slightly in response. "As always, excellent work, Holly."

Holly returned to where she was standing before, Artemis watching as she passed, whilst Butler rubbed a hand over his chest. "All okay?"

She nodded. "Yep. Took a chunk of my reserves, but I'm still running hot."

Artemis nodded and turned back to me. "Impressive, no?"

I nodded mutely. "I don't suppose an explanation would be in order?"

He nodded curtly in response. "Of course. Captain Holly Short here is a fairy –an elf, to be precise—and she just healed my manservant, Butler here, with her magic."

What was surreal was that he had said it in exactly the same way a real estate agent might say, "And this is the kitchen..."

"A _Fairy_?" I echoed.

"Told you so," I heard Juliet mutter.

At that, the door behind burst open and two familiar figures dashed in. It was the two other –_elves,_ I suppose—that I had encountered earlier. Only this time, they weren't alone; they were accompanied by three others in black, all armed.

They immediately formed a semi-circle behind me, aiming their weapons at the back of my head.

The one in the dress uniform lowered his weapon slightly, frowning curiously as he eyed the room.

"Freeze, human!" snapped the one who had tried to hypnotize me earlier.

The one in the lead rolled his eyes. "Grubb...He's not moving."

"Is there a problem, Commander Kelp?" The boy asked in a cordial tone. I assumed the commander in question was the one in the dress uniform.

He glanced about in a bewildered fashion, seemingly at a loss for words. "W-what happened?"

I smiled. "It's all good. I surrendered." Butler coughed. "After being convinced by the gentleman in the corner, of course," I corrected quickly. Said man inclined his head acceptingly in response.

The commander switched his gaze past me to the elf standing at the back of the room. "Captain?"

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "It's pretty much all resolved now, Commander, just so long as our friend here chooses to stay calm."

"Resolved?" The one named Grubb butted in incredulously. "After what he's done? We should be taking him right into custody, Tr- uh, Commander!"

I cocked an eyebrow at the small elf, and he flinched for some reason. "You started it," I said blandly.

He gaped in response. "We did _not! _You shot me with an arrow."

"Correction: I shot your _gun_ with an arrow."

"Good shot, by the way." Butler chimed in.

"Thank you, I was quite proud of that one, actually."

"Captain," interrupted the commander in a level tone, "he committed an overtly hostile act."

I slid back around in my seat, facing forwards again. "Who sedated me?" I asked the general assembly, although to be honest the question was almost entirely aimed at the armed bunch behind me.

Commander Kelp responded. "Well, we did, but it was-"

"And who had me locked up?"

"_I_ did, but only to-"

"And who was carrying the deadly weapons in an _overtly hostile_ manner when I freed myself?"

This time he didn't respond, but Artemis was audibly drumming his fingers on the desk, regarding the commander with raised eyebrows, "_Well_, Commander?" he enquired calmly.

I heard him respond tersely from behind me, "How do we know he's not going to attack again?"

I glanced briefly over my shoulder. "To be frank, Commander Cod-"

"_Kelp!_" he barked indignantly.

"Sorry, _Commander Kelp_, but to be frank, don't you think that if I had intended on killing you, I would have done so after incapacitating you earlier?" I could tell he knew my argument was valid, but the soldier in him still kept him on guard.

I heaved a tired sigh. "For what it's worth, I swear on the River Styx that I bear you no further malice."

His brow screwed up into a frown. "The _what_?"

I ignored the boy quickly explaining the ancient Greek vow, more focused on the fact that I had heard nothing upon making the oath. If we were under the sea, there should at least have been some sort of tremor, the same way thunder rumbles in the skies above.

_Nothing..._

I rose slowly out of the chair, several weapons following me as I moved. Both Holly and Butler tensed as I calmly approached the desk. The boy was unfazed, just seeming curious. "You weren't lying about being underwater, I see..." I muttered as I walked around the desk and stopped just in front of Butler to peer out of the window looking out over a vast dark landscape.

"How deep?" I asked, leaning closer to the glass.

"Several miles. Further than human technology permits at its current level."

"Huh... That so?"

-Ω-

Trouble Kelp was getting tired of standing glaring at the back of the disinterested Mud Boy when his communicator bleeped. His gladness for the distraction lasted only until he had read the message that had sprung up.

He groaned painfully, "Problem, Commander?" Artemis enquired.

"It seems that the general populous has _somehow_ found out there are humans aboard. Chaos is starting to spread throughout the lower wards. The patients and half the staff are demanding to be let onto the life rafts. I'm assuming _you're_ responsible for successfully locking them down?"

Artemis nodded. " I've unlocked the bridge, but it seemed I was indeed wise to lock down the rafts. "

Trouble grudgingly nodded his head. "Seems so." He turned to the Retrieval squad. "Right; get down there and restore order. Tell them it was a false alarm, make something up, I don't really care." They gave their affirmatives and began marching out. "Can't figure out how _they_ found out though..." He caught his brother's ear twitch on the edge of his peripherals. _Should've known..._ he thought with a sigh. He was going to be having a stern word with the assignments officer when he returned to Police Plaza.

"What about _him_?" Grubb asked before leaving.

Trouble narrowed his eyes at the boy's back. "Don't worry, I'll keep my eye on him. Go on then, off with you." Grubb nodded and disappeared after the squad.

"What's that?" The boy's voice spoke up after silence descended. He was pointing out the window at something in the distance.

Holly stepped to the stranger's side and glanced out the window too. "That's Atlantis, it's one of the largest cities we have," she said, looking out at the great domed city in the distance.

A smile tugged on the side of his lips. "The lost city of Atlantis, huh?"

Holly cocked her head. "it's actually _new_ Atlantis. It's built on the ruins of the original."

The human was still regarding the world outside, and spoke again in the same detached voice. "That so..."

Holly rested a hand on her hip. "And what about you? Just what exactly _are_ you?"

"Me? I'm a half-blood," he muttered offhandedly

There was a silence that the boy seemed oblivious to, seemingly too interested in the sights outside to notice.

"A _what?_" Trouble spoke up after nearly half a minute.

He shrugged, tapping the glass. "A half-blood as in-" he halted mid-sentence and suddenly straightened up to full height, swinging back around. He walked back to his chair and sat down again, as if suddenly just realising something. "Wait a tic; forget the fairies, forget Atlantis, forget what I am...just _what_ did you say your name was again?"

Artemis cocked his head curiously. "Fowl. Artemis Fowl the second, if you want to be precise."

The boy pushed himself up slightly out of his chair and leaned inwards, scrutinising the boy closely. Artemis frowned at the invasion of his personal space. "You're a boy, right_?_"

Artemis gritted his teeth, and Holly could be heard snickering slightly under her breath.

He took a deep, calming breath, and then replied, "I am."

"But you're called _Artemis_," the boy said, as if this were a major point of contention.

Artemis' brow screwed up into a frown, then responded through clenched teeth, "It _is _traditionally used as a girl's name, but it can, in rare cases, be used for boys as well."

He frowned back. "You sure?"

"Quite positive."

"Hmm...I think you're wrong."

"I can assure you I am not."

"I think you are."

"Not!" Artemis snapped, then scowled as if intensely irritated that the strange boy had made his lose his composure. "On what grounds would you base this objection?" he asked, slightly more calmly.

"Well...It's just...You see...Artemis is my _mother's _name."

The conversation was interrupted at that point by Trouble Kelp bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

Artemis scowled openly. "Is there a problem, Commander?"

He stopped to wipe a tear from his eye. "Oh, nothing. Sorry, _Mud Girl_, but that one just caught me a little off guard."

Artemis' gaze snapped back to the boy. "Anything else? Personally, I find it fascinating that out of all the questions you must have, you pick _that _one to begin with. Shall we move right on, Armani?"

Armani settled down in his chair again. "Sorry, but I take things as I see them, and I just had to know the answer to that one. So...there are fairies here, I'll accept that based on the visual evidence. As for Atlantis and being under the sea, well, unless that's a very high-resolution image you've got there, I'll accept that too."

Artemis, who had composed himself, nodded his head,."Very good. Next question?"

Armani nodded. "Very well, I suppose I should begin with the next most obvious one; how did I get here?"

Artemis stood up and crossed to the monitors, adjusting them until a map of the earth appeared. "I suppose I'd best begin with this; over the past week or so, we had begun to detect several instabilities in the fabric of reality. At first they were just blips, minor ripples. They were all focused around two hot-spots. The first was a point in Miami, Florida; the honeymoon suite of quite a lavish hotel, precisely. The second was an empty field in Long Island, New York."

"Empty?" Armani interrupted. "Are...you sure?"

Artemis observed him curiously, noting the sad look in his eyes. "Quite sure. We visited the site several times." With that, he clicked a control and a photographic image sprang up. "Just some bare hills, trees and a lake, nothing noteworthy at all."

Artemis paused as he watched Armani's eyes trace the image with an unreadable expression on his face. It was Holly who spoke up, a note of concern in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

He snapped out of his trance and shook his head. "It's nothing, sorry, carry on."

"...Very well. And so, yesterday we detected a massive rupture, off the scales. There was effectively a breach-"

"Let me guess: In the walls of the universe?" Armani offered.

Artemis frowned. "Precisely. Do you know the cause?"

He inclined his head. "I do, but carry on."

Artemis complied. "So when the tear opened and the cracks began to spread across the sky, we set up a command post at the focal points of the breach and managed to contain them before they could spread out across the entire surface of the planet."

"Hang on," Armani objected. "That's impossible. The main breach was only open for a matter of moments before it was...repaired. There's no way you could've set up some kind of operation within that timescale."

Artemis smiled. "Quite right, and it would be impossible if we didn't have the ability to stop time around those two points."

Armani's eyes widened. "Stop _time_?"

"Exactly." He hit a control and a diagram of a building with four dishes on the corners of the rooftop appeared. In the centre was a jagged line in the sky. Artemis pushed another button and the dishes emitted a wave, which shaped into a sphere covering the entire rooftop and the breach. "The People –The fairy People, that is—had prepared, just in case something like this massive breach were to occur. They prepared several time-stops to be activated to slow the progression of the openings should they happen. When the breach first opened, it was only above the hotel roof and the field. There was a smaller one in a forest in the mid-west of the United States-"

"-must've been from when my uncle's counterpart..." Armani muttered, and then trailed off.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Artemis enquired.

Armani shook his head dismissively. "Ignore me, just talking to myself, please carry on."

Artemis eyed him warily but went on talking. "When the breach opened, the People engaged the pre-prepared time-stops, slowing the progression of the openings substantially. By doing this, we prevented the openings from spreading across space for the duration of the time-stop. So, whilst the openings may have only been there for a few moments in your reality, they were here for several hours in ours, more than enough time to gather some of our best minds together to do something about it, yours truly included, of course. Think of it as a sort of time dilation effect."

Armani was barely following, so he nodded. "Alright, so then what happened?"

"Well, before the breach even managed to reach the edge of the time-stop field, it suddenly began shrinking again, folding in on itself and disappearing."

Armani nodded, as if expecting this. "And then?"

"Then it got a little complicated. You see, just in case we needed an additional source of magical energy, the people brought with them their most powerful warlock; a young imp by the name of Nº1."

"_Number One_?" Armani echoed dryly.

"That's another story. Anyway, he agreed to come along, since we believed the breaches may have been some of the demon kind, of which he is a part. Their species was once trapped in Limbo, but have since returned to normal time through a similar breach."

Armani cocked his head. "Demons, Limbo, gotcha, keep going."

"You're taking this all oddly well," Holly observed.

He sighed tiredly in response. "Yeah, well, once I'd gotten over the whole 'Fairies are real' bit, I realised it's not the strangest thing I've gotten myself wrapped up in. So carry on, _Artemis_."

He narrowed his eyes in response. "I'd be curious to know just what you _have_ been getting wrapped up in, but I'll carry on. As I was saying, Nº1 thought it best to use his power to hold open the breach a moment longer, just in case some of his lost brethren were merely taking a bit long to get home. We, of course, thought it all futile, but just as his power was failing, he declared he _did _sense something coming through, and an instant later, _you_ fell right into our laps."

"It was _your_ lap he fell into, Artemis." Holly prodded him from behind.

He coughed once. "Yes, anyway, that's the long and short of how you came to be here. After you arrived, the People, being as cautious as they are, demanded you be kept secure, and so we brought you here; to the Atlantis hospital ship...and here we are."

Armani was silent, his eyes flicking about at nothing in particular as he processed the information. "Here we are indeed..."

"And?" Artemis prodded.

"And what?" Armani muttered offhandedly, still deep in thought.

"I think it's time you explain what was happening on your side. We only seem to have half the story. We'd be delighted if you could fill some of the gaps in for us."

"What'd you like to know?" Armani mumbled, still only half paying attention.

"Let's start with you," Holly suggested. "You said you were a half-blood. What exactly does that mean?"

"Hmm? Oh_,_ means I'm a demigod," he replied vacantly, as if he'd simply said, 'yes, cream and two sugars with that.'

-Ω-

_That still doesn't explain how I survived..._

As I pondered, I suddenly realised there was dead silence emanating from all around me.

I blinked several times and glanced up to find several blank expressions waiting for me. "Sorry, was a mile away there..." I glanced nervously around. "W-what?"

Artemis was regarding me blankly. "You're a _what_?" Holly's voice spoke up, disbelief predominant in her tone. Suddenly my eyes were drawn to a monitor behind Artemis, a spiral of genetic information crossing the screen. "Hey! I'd recognise those gene sequences anywhere. Have you been ogling my DNA?" I asked accusingly.

"You recognise your own DNA?" Juliet asked disbelievingly.

I sighed. "Let's just say my former _guardian_, if I can call him that, enjoyed teaching biology, and has used my own DNA as a teaching aid more than once. You haven't been trying to analyse it too closely, have you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at the boy.

He narrowed his right back. "Am I going to assume you know we'd find some irregularities?"

"Apollo said it would be impossible for mortals to see it at their current level of technology, but with all _this_ I wouldn't be surprised if you managed to see it a bit _too_ close. Although, considering what he told me would happen if mortals did try to use a machine to look at it, it seems fine."

"Apollo?" Artemis echoed, "As in-"

"Sun god," I interrupted simply, and glanced at the machine. "The equipment all seems okay; is this where you processed it all?" I asked, eyeing the console curiously.

Artemis shook his head. "No, these are just terminals. The data is processed back in Haven, the fairy capital. I used the LEP mainframe to run through the results. It's much quicker than the hospital network."

_Oh, that can't be good._

He had obviously seen that I was biting my lip nervously. "Problem?"

"Umm, hopefully not. Just tell me...Artemis; exactly how many times did you try and analyse my DNA completely?"

He shrugged. "Five. Why?"

I winced. "You... ah... may want to get on the line to this _Haven _place. You may find you'll have caused them some, ah, minor technical difficulties."

Artemis eyed me warily, crossed to the desk terminal and punched in some controls. He leaned into the speaker. "Foaly, it's me. Can you tell me if-"

He was interrupted as a loud booming voice practically screamed out the speaker, "MUD BOY! WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE D'ARVITING GODS HAVE YOU _DONE_?"

Artemis staggered back from the screen in shock; I could hear crackling in the background and the sounds of all-round panic. Artemis composed himself. "Foaly, what's going on? Has something happened?"

I heard the sound of gritting teeth, followed by some muttering that I had to assume were curses in another language. Then the voice responded, "Is there a problem? A _problem_? The Mud Boy asks is there a problem!"

"Foaly!" Artemis snapped.

"Don't you realise what you've done?"

Artemis shook his head. "I don't understand."

The voice took a deep, calming breath. "That _data_ you fed into the system was so complex it caused a _minor_ overload in the processing banks. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem, since we have backups, and backups for the backups, but _nooo_, Mud Boy didn't stop there; he goes and feeds that string of destructive data in another FOUR MORE TIMES! What the hell were you doing, Artemis? Was this data some kind of sick joke, an eternity code gone too far?"

"What kind of damage, Foaly? If it was just a minor overload, surely you can-"

"Perhaps you didn't catch the sarcasm when I said that, Mud Boy! The banks haven't just shorted out, they're in _FLAMES_! Do you have _any _idea how long this will take to sort out? Just what the hell _was_ that you sent winging our way?"

Artemis looked up at me as he responded, "It's nothing you need to worry about, Foaly. Sorry for the trouble." Then killed the connection, cutting off what I could only assume was an extremely irate tech-support guy.

Every eye in the room turned and fixed on me. "Umm..._Sorry?_"

_Not technically your fault, you know._

Artemis slumped down into the chair behind the desk. "I take it you know why this happened."

I nodded. "If you examined my genetic information, in particular any that came from my mother, at its most fundamental level, then, according to my uncle, it would be the same as looking at a god in their true form."

I saw Holly frown. "And? So, what? Are they camera-shy or something?"

I shook my head. "No, their true form is that of the entire natural force they represent. To look into it would be to look physically into the essence of nature itself."

Juliet hummed in thought, "So it would...what? Drive you mad?"

I shook my head again, "No, to see it is to comprehend it and therefore channel just a fragment of it through your being. To cut it short; to look into a god's true form is to look into the divine itself, and you'd be annihilated on the spot, reduced to your component atoms. Now, if the human mind, with its infinite imagination and complexity, couldn't comprehend something like that, what makes you think something that's little more than a glorified calculator could?" There was no response. "The answer is it _couldn't_, and so what you get in result is a nice big _boom_."

More silence, broken by Juliet. "But, come on, _gods?_ Like...the old Greek ones?"

I nodded my head in response. "Artemis" was remaining utterly silent, his eyes burrowing into me with intense and unnerving intensity. In that moment they reminded me scarily of Athena's.

Trouble scoffed. "I agree with the girl, this is all preposterous! We get a little overload and you expect us to go round believing in old Mud Man fairy tales."

I raised a single eyebrow, "Says the fairy..."

"Oh, _burn_." Juliet chimed in.

"So then, "Artemis began, instantly attracting the attention of everyone in the room. "You claim to be a child of a Greek god, is this correct?"

"God_dess,_" I corrected. "And I claim nothing. I am what I am."

He nodded ponderingly, and then levelled his gaze at me. "Show me your bow."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Your silver bow." He flipped a switch and an image of me holding said bow appeared on one of the wall monitors. "This one, if you please."

I hesitated for a moment. "as you wish..." I swung my arm around in an arc as if flinging something. My bow formed mid-movement and I opened my hand at the peak of the swing.

Butler lurched a step forward as Artemis' hand shot up and swiped the bow out the air. Judging by the boy's widened eyes, he seemed shocked by the fact that he had actually managed to catch it so smoothly.

He regained his cool quicker than he lost it and lowered the weapon gingerly onto the table in front of him. He ran a hand over its length, and then picked it up, examining the carvings with the air and scrutiny of an antiques expert. He pulled the string experimentally, hummed, then turned to Butler, extending the weapon up to him. "Butler?"

The manservant nodded and took the bow out his hand, and I observed as he examined it less for its aesthetic value and purely on its value as a thing made for killing. He balanced it on his palms, raised it up and, with some strain, pulled the string back and relaxed it again. He nodded approvingly and returned it to Artemis. "It's perfectly balanced, the draw weight is well beyond what I'd call practical, and a Kevlar vest wouldn't stop an arrow with that much force behind it. It also _looks_ like silver but doesn't feel metallic, and paint on normal wood should crack with that much strain on it. Put simply, I've never seen one like it before."

Artemis nodded, running his hand over it curiously. "And either you summoned it out of nowhere, or that was the best sleight-of-hand trick I've ever seen, and believe me; I know some good ones." He offered the bow back.

I didn't feel like getting up, so I raised a hand and, with a blur of white light, the weapon returned to its master. I opened my hand and it disappeared.

If Artemis was shocked, he concealed it brilliantly. "Sooo..." Juliet said. "Magic bow, then?"

Again Artemis was regarding me silently, but nodded after a moment. "It would appear that way...Very well," he said, extending a hand toward me.

I frowned. "Very well _what_?"

"I will accept that you are not entirely human. The fact that your cells are not dividing and are being powered by natural energy, preventing your ageing, is proof of that."

My frown deepened. "I sense that you're the sort of person who just _loves_ to take the magic out of things."

I saw Holly smirk. "Wow, Artemis, it sounds like he's known you your whole life."

His brow twitched irritably but, again, he composed himself. "_As_ I was saying; I will accept that you are not entirely human, but what I must ask is this: am I _also_ being forced to accept, at this moment, the idea that the Greek gods are in fact real, and that they currently exist in our world?"

I went silent for a moment, and then responded in a flat tone, "No."

"B-but you just said-", Juliet began, but I cut her off.

"They do not exist in _this_ world, but they _do_ exist in mine. Perhaps they existed in this world too at one point, but if they did...They've long since faded." I said, barely whispering the last part.

There was a solemn silence around me. "H-how can you tell?" Juliet asked hesitantly after a moment.

I clenched my fist on the arm of my chair, bracing to speak the words I'd been fearing. "I can't hear the song of the wild; my mother's song, the sound that permeates through me and drives me to the hunt. I can hear the wild, the sound of nature...but it's stopped singing, the world has gone quiet. The natural forces are still the same, still working as normal, hence why I'm still able to use my power and still not ageing, but..." I trailed off.

"But what?" Juliet asked quietly.

"It's like they're on autopilot. Nothing's driving them, no magic, no splendour, just the constant drone of the world carrying...on...spinning." I let out an ironic, sad, laugh, tugging out threads from my chair as I spoke. "To think the sun will actually rise each day here without _him _around. Well, I guess that's one brag he really wouldn't be able to make here."

"Who's _he_?" Holly asked quietly.

Artemis blinked, "Hmm? _Oh , _Apollo, god of the sun. At least that's who I _believe_ he's talking about, given the context."

I scoffed. "Who else would I be talking about?" I trailed off, as my ability to fight off the other huge truth, one more powerful and more painful than the fact of my survival was reassuring.

_They all think I'm dead...Mother thinks I'm gone._

"Yeah... His Royal _Stupid _Rhyminess..." I paused as I felt a sting in my eye, and something wet run down my cheek.

I inhaled a sharp breath and wiped my eyes quickly with the palms of my hands, I felt something small touch me on the shoulder. I glanced up to find the elf woman resting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "Yeah... _sorry_, just had a very...disconcerting moment there."

_Come on now, you're not ACTUALLY dead..._

_But they think I am. How many people have I hurt _this_ time around?_

_..._

"Do you need a moment?" Artemis suddenly asked, snapping me out of my reverie. The coldness that seemed to be etched on his face a moment ago had evaporated.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Sorry, where were we?"

His eyes seemed to have softened and he sat back in his chair. "Why don't you begin now?"

I blinked. "Sorry, begin what?"

He smiled, and I noticed it lacked any of the sarcasm or arrogance of his earlier ones, and even seemed oddly compassionate. "Your story, of course. Like I said, we're still waiting for you to lay your cards down on the table. Tell me about the cracks in the sky, of gods and goddesses, and of this world you came from."

_Tell him._

_What?_

_Tell him. There's something_ _different about this one, something in the air about him..._

I inhaled a breath. "How long do you have?"

"Butler."

"Yes, Artemis?"

"Fetch some refreshments for our guest and ourselves, would you? I believe this may take some time."

The man nodded. "Of course."

Once said drinks had been dished out and everyone settled (with the exception of Butler, who remained poised behind Artemis) I leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Where to begin?" I mused.

"Start at the beginning," Artemis said, as if this were obvious.

I blinked and lowered my head to look at him. "What? You want to hear my entire life's story?" I asked with a laugh.

He remained stoic, but there was an excited glint in his eye.

"You're joking, right?"

Holly pushed off from where she was leaning and settled on the edge of the desk. "An abridged version will do; just the important bits, preferably the ones relating to those cracks."

I nodded. It seemed reasonable, so I took a moment to decide where to begin. I opened my mouth to speak, then glanced at Artemis. "Rules of the lecture?" I asked.

He inclined his head with a smile. "Of course."

Holly blinked. "Sorry, what?"

Artemis glanced at her for a second. "Save all questions for the end."

"_Oh_, oh yes, of course."

I nodded once, and did as requested; I began my story.

-Ω-

I skipped most of the start, effectively bullet-pointing most of my life, then giving a quick rundown of a certain goddess' plot to open the walls of reality, how it happened in the end, and how, with no other choice left open to me, I had stepped in front of Apollo's arrow and sealed the rift. I was not really in the mood to give _too_ detailed a rundown of my tale of birth to near-death, so I abridged as much as I could. I also included the fact that in my world there seemed to be a distinct lack of anything fairy-related, as if there _were _I was sure I'd have heard something about it by now.

-Ω-

It was a long and far-fetched tale, to say the least, and only a few sharp glares from Artemis had stopped the group from giving in to their urge to butt in with questions or objections.

The boy ended his tale with himself being seemingly destroyed and preventing the worlds going to hell.

"And that's it...The world, or _worlds,_ were saved, and I woke up here."

There was silence. Not the disbelieving sort, or the accepting sort, more the '_okay, where the heck do I begin?' _sort.

Holly was the first to speak. "Artemis?" She enquired.

-Ω-

The boy in question sat, his eyes burning into me, but not looking _at_ me. He didn't say a word for several minutes. The fact that no one questioned this, or thought it odd, led me to believe he was prone to these extended moments of contemplation.

"I believe you," he said bluntly.

"Y-you do?" I stammered, finding myself both shocked and grateful.

"Don't get me wrong. Your story, on the surface, would sound like the ravings of a madman if it were expected to be true, but when put together with all _this_; the cracks, the bow, your genetic abnormalities, the effect your DNA had on the computer systems, and your physical abilities when compared with the demigods of ancient tales, it all slots into place. Therefore, until such time as I hear a more reasonable explanation, I shall choose to believe you."

_Out of all the universes and all the realities, I stumble across the one person both brilliant and insane enough to actually believe me, perhaps even help me._

_It's a funny old world...-s..._

"That also explains how you survived..." he said, ponderingly, twiddling his fingers in thought.

I sat up in my chair. "It does? Well...umm, could you perhaps share it with the rest of us?"

He shrugged, "It's quite obvious. This _arrow of fate_ used by Apollo..."

"What about it?"

"It eradicated your effect on reality, closing the barriers between worlds."

"Yeah, I got that much."

"The walls of reality closed, and the walls of your own universe, in turn, closed in to crush you out of existence."

I nodded. "_Yeah_, the question is; why didn't that happen?"

"You said it yourself; you were a _part_ of the rupture, the only remaining part."

"Following you, carry on."

"Except the walls weren't closed; at least, not entirely."

"Ah yes, your little warlock friend."

Artemis inclined his head, "Correct; Nº1 held open the walls of our reality as your own tried to eradicate you. As opposed to being destroyed, and because you were still a part of the breach, you were transposed down the path of least resistance and out the other side_..._right into our world."

I fell silent, assimilating the information. "So it would appear I have your friend Number One to thank for my survival."

Artemis rose to his feet. "Indeed you do." He began walking slowly about me, his eyes sweeping me up and down, assessing me. "So... You are a _demigod?_"

I cocked an eyebrow. "We prefer the term _half-blood_, actually. We feel strutting 'round proclaiming yourself to be half _god_ is a tad, well, pompous."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement then glanced to the back of the room, "Well, Commander?"

I glanced behind me. Commander Kelp was leaning against the wall with a deep frown etched on his features. "Am I supposed to tell the council that the reason I authorised this boy's-"

"_Armani_," I butted in irritably.

He took a breath. "-_Armani's_ release is because he's apparently the child of some ancient Mud Man deity?"

"She's not _that_ old..."

"Because if you are-"

"...barely a century over four thousand..."

"Will you be quiet for a moment! You've said your piece, now hear me out. What I need, Fowl, is a bit of concrete evidence I can take back, something our own science has provided."

I saw him nod ponderingly. "Understandable. Why don't we take a look at the Retimager results, then?"

"The what?" I asked.

Artemis turned to me. "Whilst you were sleeping, the devices attached to your eyes took a print of your retina and recorded all the images burned into them over time. Using fairy technology, we can search through the print and take a look at anything you've seen. Of course, we need to match it up with a template to search, considering your eyes have seen millions of things in your life."

"Understood, and also somewhat disturbed at the invasion of my privacy."

He crossed over to the desk. "I wouldn't worry; we'll only be looking at things the system can match up to."

"Has the search finished?" Holly asked, crossing over to his side.

He nodded. "Yes, the standard search finished quite some time ago. I'm processing the results now."

I stood up and sat on the arm of my chair to get a better view. "Well?"

"As I recall from Foaly's notes, a score significantly above three hundred denotes a match. Now let's see... Nothing significantly high for matches on elves, pixies or any other fairy- _oh..._what do we have here?"

Kelp quickly walked to his side. "What? You have something?"

"We have a match," he said, a note of amusement in his voice.

Kelp glanced accusingly at me. "How can that be possible? Didn't he say there _were_ no fairy species in his world?"

"A match of fifteen hundred and thirty six points...for _centaur_."

"So he _was_ lying..." he said darkly, glaring at me.

I smiled back, and I couldn't help but notice a small smile on Artemis' face as well. "No, I wasn't_."_

He opened his mouth to speak, but Artemis cut him off. "I've pulled up one of the corresponding images, and I _think_ I can enhance it to a decent resolution. Why don't we take a look?" At that he punched a key and a wall screen flared to life. A blurry image appeared. A line swept over the screen and it clarified slightly. It swept several more times, and each time the image became clearer. After a moment a recognizable figure appeared in the middle of the image.

One last sweep, and the image became clear. It was surreal seeing something on screen that my own eyes had taken, and I immediately recognised it. "Hey, that's archery practice." I said happily, pointing at the screen.

"_Whoa-ho..._" Juliet gaped. "Now _that_ is a centaur." On the screen was Chiron, his shirt draped over one shoulder, quiver slung over his shoulder. He appeared in the middle of a demonstration, his bow was drawn and he was taking aim at something obviously outside my peripheral vision at the time. If you didn't know any better, you'd almost think he was posing for the camera.

I noticed Holly's eyes were wide. "Well...It certainly _is_ a centaur." She paused to gulp. "Although I've never seen one quite so..." she trailed off as if searching for the word.

"Ripped?" Juliet offered, and Holly nodded mutely in response.

I frowned and glanced back at the image. "Hmm, I suppose Chiron is on the athletic side."

Holly's eyes snapped to me. "Chiron_,_ as in..._the_ Chiron?"

My brow screwed up in confusion. "_Yeah_, as in eternal-trainer-of-heroes Chiron, child-of-Kronos Chiron, just..._Chiron._"

Artemis glanced at Holly. "Heard of him, have you?"

She nodded. "He's one of the few who exist in both human and fairy legends exactly the same."

"Hang on," Juliet said, pointing at the image. "If he were in legends and stuff, he'd have to be, like-" she waved her hand as if trying to phrase it.

"Thousands of years old?" Artemis offered.

She nodded. "Yeah, what's up with that?"

I shrugged. "Chiron lives as long as there are heroes to be trained, and _is_, in fact, thousands of years old."

Holly cocked her head. "He's not looking bad for it..."

"I'm sure he'd be flattered to hear that."

"Well, Commander?" Artemis asked.

He regarded the screen carefully. "Alright, I'll admit _I_ believe you, but I still think the council won't be swayed by a picture of a centaur. They're few in number but it's still an established fact that they_ exist._"

_Alright... Looks like I'll have to go one step further._

"Can you search for any sort of image with that thing?" I asked Artemis.

He tilted his head in thought. "Within reason. I just need to put in search parameters that it'd understand."

"Scorpion," I said simply.

"Come again?"

"I _said_, try 'scorpion'. I've only ever seen one of those in my life; see if you can get an image of it."

Juliet raised a finger. "Umm, we _do_ have scorpions here too, you know?"

Artemis was staring right at me, comprehension in his eyes. "You can't be implying..."

"Just do the search."

He nodded and entered the necessary commands. I saw the light shining from the desk monitor on his face flicker as the machine searched. It let out a _ding_ after a moment, "Another match... eleven hundred and thirteen points."

I extended a hand at the screen. "Let's see it, then."

He nodded and began manipulating the controls. Again, the screen began clearing, and this time it was dominated by a picture of a yellow scorpion.

"A shot of a bug. That's very-" Trouble's voice died in his throat as the bottom of the image was enhanced, revealing the form of Nico DiAngelo slightly in front of me and to my right. There was nothing special about Nico in the image. He did, however, serve one very important purpose.

Scale.

He stood with his sword drawn, the beast looming over him.

Artemis rose from the desk and circled to the middle of the room to get a better view. His usual calculating eyes had, just for that moment, filled with the kind of childish wonder that one would expect from someone his age. "Is that..." he trailed off.

"Scorpius._"_ I nodded_._ "Well, strictly speaking it's the _shade_ of Scorpius, but he was just as deadly as when he was alive, if not more so. Being a fifty-foot undead killing machine will do that to you. Ahh, now there was an interesting day out."

"That thing's _huge_," Juliet breathed. "Artemis, have you heard of it?"

There was a ghost of a smile on his face. I could've sworn the prospect excited him. "It's Scorpius, the scorpion sent by Artemis to..." He paused to laugh with a note of incredulity, unsurprising considering what he was calmly describing. "That was sent by Artemis to fight Orion."

I blinked. "Come again?"

He paused, a small frown appearing on his face. "The scorpion Artemis sent to deal with Orion after he swore to hunt all the creatures on earth. The two of them were enemies."

My brow scrunched up in confusion. "OH! I see. Yes, that was one of the interpretations of the old legends."

Artemis nodded. "I'm shocked you didn't know that, considering who you claim to be."

"No. I was confused because I didn't think that you'd pick the _wrong _interpretation of the story."

He shook his head. "But the only other story was that Orion and Artemis were..." Suddenly he froze mid-sentence and his face seemed to get paler, if that were possible. He staggered back a step and sat on the edge of my chair.

"Artemis, what's wrong?" Holly asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Wow, he's taking being proven wrong pretty badly," I observed.

Holly frowned and glanced between us. "Wrong? Wrong about what? Artemis, didn't you talk about that once before? About Artemis and Orion, I mean."

"Ah, so he explained it to you, did he? Well you see, there are a few tiny points wrong about that story. And by tiny I mean, well, _big_. Firstly, it wasn't Artemis that sent the scorpion; it was the other gods after Orion gave his boast that he would hunt all the beasts on earth. The thing is, the _reason_ he wanted to do it wasn't to _outdo_ Artemis...but as a token."

Holly frowned. "I don't understand; what kind of token?"

Artemis responded in a flat voice. "There's one other interpretation on the relationship between Artemis and Orion, one that implied they weren't exactly..._enemies_."

Holly shook her head in confusion. "What do you mean? If they weren't enemies, then..." her eyes widened. "Oh. _Oh!_ You don't mean..." She glanced at me.

I nodded. "My mother and Orion were...quite fond of one another...to put it gently." I found myself feeling solemn as I recalled the memory.

"Your mother told you about this?" Artemis asked.

"No; I was sort of... witness to the proceedings, in a manner of speaking."

Holly's next reaction baffled me: she burst out laughing.

"Holly!" Artemis snapped, but the elf didn't listen. She was too busy doubling over and clutching her sides.

"Oh, that is just _magnificent_! Oh, that really made my day!" She stopped to wipe a stray tear out of her eye to find Artemis scowling at her. "Oh come on, Artemis! You have to admit it, it is _slightly _funny. And after all, you _do_ hold yourself in such high regard...Who knew how much?" At that she cracked up again. Juliet giggled, and even Butler seemed to be straining not to crack a smile.

I felt I had to interject, "Sorry... _Really_ don't get the joke here."

Holly stopped laughing and seemed to be about to answer, then glanced at Artemis as if asking for permission. He met her gaze irritably and rolled his eyes, then waved a hand in my direction.

Holly nodded. "Artemis' alternate personality, one created as a result of his Atlantis Complex –a fairy disease that creates a sort of split personality—was supposed to be everything Artemis isn't; a total opposite, and he named himself..."

"_Orion _Fowl," Artemis spat.

Holly grinned. "Artemis had explained he was named that because they were supposed to be _enemies. _Oh, I'm almost looking forward to the next time my knight in shining armour decides to stick his head out."

Artemis shook his head. "And for the first time, I find myself feeling sorry for him. Luckily, the medication that the Atlantean doctors gave me is keeping the symptoms under control, so we won't have to worry about my alter ego resurfacing." He turned back to the monitor, and spoke to the Commander without taking his eyes of the screen. "Well, Commander? You've got a magic bow, a legendary centaur, a giant scorpion and genetic scans."

I rolled my eyes. "What else do you need? A signed photograph from my mom?" I paused to shudder at the mere _concept_ of actually having to ask her for that.

"Come on, Trouble, we can take him back to our place now, surely?" Juliet asked.

Trouble frowned, his eyes locked on the image of the beast. "I can't authorise him to go completely free before presenting this to the council. I'm afraid he'll have to stay under guard."

With that, he swung about and walked for the door. He paused at the threshold. "I'm going to make sure order's been restored on the other decks, and then I'll be heading straight back to Haven with the retrieval unit. Holly, keep an eye on him." At that he strode out and left us alone.

Silence fell and Artemis gathered some papers off the desk. "Well, I think we're about done here. Shall we be making tracks?"

I blinked. "But didn't the little guy just say-"

Holly butted in, seemingly irritated about the 'little' remark. "_Commander Kelp_ ordered me to guard you."

"He didn't specify _where, _however," Artemis clarified. "Butler, return our guest his articles."

He inclined his head and returned my bag and sword to me. "Bit odd to use a bronze sword in our day and age, don't you think?" he commented as I clipped it into place.

The bodyguard tensed as I drew it from its sheath. "_Here_," I said, and handed him the hilt. I nodded at the blade. "Try cutting yourself on it." He glanced at the blade and back in confusion. "Go ahead, just try and prick yourself."

He cocked his head and pressed his index finger to the tip of the blade. He tapped the point a few times, then slowly applied pressure. His eyes widened as, instead of drawing blood, the tip of the blade passed through his finger as if the weapon had no substance. He pulled the blade down through his hand, casing no damage, waving it about his palm as it passed smoothly through.

Artemis approached quickly and examined the spectacle, taking the blade from Butler. "That's interesting, to say the least. Might I ask what good a sword that causes no damage is?"

I smiled. "Celestial bronze: it only causes damage to mythical creatures and things that are of the gods."

"Like yourself?" he asked, indicating me with the blade.

"Yes, and I'll thank you not to point that at me," I said as I carefully took the sword back. I tapped the flat of the blade on my chin in thought. "Although I _do_ wonder what it would make of a fairy...Hey, Holly, hold still for a second while I stab you."

"_No!" _She snapped, covering herself with her hands and backing away for safety.

I grinned. "Just kidding." I sheathed the weapon and turned to Artemis, the smile disappearing. "You said you could get me home. Was that a boast just to get me to talk, or were you actually telling the truth?"

He turned and walked for the door. "It's quite true. I've almost got the whole plan worked out; there are just a few kinks I need to iron out. That's one of the reasons we need to leave this place. Rest assured; I _will_ get you home."

I frowned. "Yeah, and what makes you so confident?"

He paused and regarded me over his shoulder for a second. "I'm Artemis Fowl." And with that he disappeared out the door.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Everything you need to know," Butler said, patting me on the shoulder as he went to follow the boy.

_Things are looking up..._

"Hmph, says you," I grumbled.

"What'd you say?" Holly asked, pausing in the doorway.

"Sorry, just... talking to myself," I said, shaking my head as I followed behind the elf.

-Ω-

We managed to leave the hospital craft with no incident, Artemis having locked down all the doors lining the corridors leading to the docking bay. This pretty much gave us a straight path to where we needed to go. The bay itself was filled with numerous glistening silver crafts, some looking like something crossed between a spacecraft and a submarine. One was set apart, and looked much more aerodynamic. It was slipstreamed with what looked like thrusters on the back. I assumed this was the one they intended to use, as, after climbing down the ladders from the gantry into the bay, Holly had taken the lead and began making right for it.

"This one yours?" I asked as she punched some digits into a control panel built into the side.

"It's an LEP scout shuttle; it's what we brought you here in. Looks like Trouble's already left with the troops," she explained as a hatch slid open.

-Ω-

We all climbed aboard, Butler having to hunch himself right over in the small craft, something that couldn't be good for his posture.

"Strap yourselves in, folks," Holly said as she sat in the pilot's seat and began flicking switches. A mechanical hum began to pulse through the flooring.

Butler kneeled down and pretty much wrapped himself in the safety harnesses for two seats, Artemis taking the co-pilot's chair. Juliet sat herself down next to me in the second row of seats. I glanced down and began fiddling with the harness.

"Need a hand?" Juliet asked with a smile.

I sighed. "No, I got it, thanks," I said, managing to clip it shut. It obviously wasn't designed for people of our proportions. Juliet seemed to have cut her straps slightly to relieve the pressure, but they still clung to her form like binding ropes. "Not designed for humans, I'm thinking."

"Why would they be?" Holly asked, and threw one lever. There was a sudden roar and the ship lurched forwards and out into darkness, pinning me back into my seat, the g-force crushing the air suddenly from my lungs. "Oh_..._ and brace yourself."

"_Thank you_, Captain," I said sarcastically as she angled the ship upwards.

"You're welcome," she replied with a smile as we began speeding upwards through the dark ocean, seemingly unaffected by the pressure.

"I get the feeling you're a bit of a flygirl," I shouted over the rumbling.

She let out a sharp laugh. "What gave it away?"

"The way you fly."

"Fast?" she asked with a grin.

"_No_, like a maniac. It's oddly reminiscent of someone I know."

"Like a _god_?" she hazarded a guess with a wide grin as she weaved around a coral outcrop the size of a city block.

"_Yes_, like the sun god, Apollo."

She laughed again. "Why, thank you."

"Trust me, that wasn't necessarily a compliment."

She turned back to frown at me, and then snapped her head back as she had to outmanoeuvre some kind of giant squid. There was a sudden groan from the engines that made me feel uneasy. "Umm, Captain Short?"

"Just Holly is fine."

"_Holly_... just how much pressure is this ship designed to take?"

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that. She can take a magma flare from the earth's core to the face and come out unscathed. She's designed to operate in the tunnels close to the core, pressure may not be this bad down there, but so long as we don't spend too much time down here we should be fine."

"What's he like?" Juliet suddenly asked.

"Hmm?" I turned to find Juliet looking at me with large, curious eyes.

"Apollo, the sun god, what's he like?"

I shrugged. "I can tell you how he looks; well, how he _chooses_ to look anyway."

"Well?"

"He's one of the few that are how the books describe him; about average height, not imposing, blonde, athletic, blue eyes and the stupidest smile imaginable. What's he _like_? Well, I'd normally need a whole evening to explain that, but come to think of it, you sort of remind me of him in a way."

She grinned. "Really?" The smile disappeared. "Hang on; was that one of those _not a compliment_ things?"

I shook my head slightly. "Not this time... In fact, I think he'd really like you. You seem his type."

Juliet beamed and turned to her brother. "Hear that, bro? I'm a god's _type_."

His response was little more than a throaty grumble.

I sighed. "Yup, he'd probably skip right to his favourite pickup line. Although, come to think of it, it's his _only _pickup line."

She grinned. "Go on then, what is it?"

"If you must know..." I puffed my chest out, coughed, and said, in a fairly bad imitation of His Royal Rhyminess, "Hey babe, I'm a god, you know. Wanna come see my chariot?" I finished by flicking my eyebrows up in a suggestive manner.

Juliet's reaction was to crack up in a fit of laughter. "Are you _serious_?"

"Trust me, Juliet; that one line has been responsible for the spawning of more children than Aphrodite, Catholic doctrine and beer goggles combined."

"Really?"

"No, I'm exaggerating, of course. Apollo wouldn't think so, though. Like many gods, he has a somewhatoverinflated opinion of himself."

"Well, he _is_ a god."

I sighed. "So he likes to continually remind me..."

"Okay, passengers, "Holly announced. "We're about to break the surface. I'll take her up above the cloud cover for safety, and then it should be smooth sailing all the way to Ireland."

"I take it we're immune to radar?" I asked, presuming that the regular humans of this world were unaware of the civilization dwelling just under their feet.

The captain laughed. "Are you kidding me? Our shuttles have been invisible to radar since before humans even _had_ radar."

"So what's in Ireland, then?"

"My home," Artemis said.

The craft soared up above the thick layer of clouds and into the night sky. I was unable to stifle a gasp as a surge of energy went through me.

Holly leaned around in her seat. "Something wrong?" Her eyes widened as she noticed the intensified glow coming off my skin.

My eyes were wide and locked into the viewport ahead. "S-sorry, it's just been a while since I've seen it."

"Seen wha..." Holly asked, and then trailed off as she looked ahead. I could've sworn her pointed ears twitched slightly. "Oh."

"What is it?" Juliet asked.

"It's the moon," Holly replied, and her voice had a slightly dreamy quality.

The moon hung in the sky, larger than I had ever seen it before. It would be full in a few days, but it was an empty feeling. I could feel the strength surge through me, but with none of the grace, none of the feeling.

I could feel a well of sorrow rise up as the moon glared back at me through the screen, and I found myself mourning that which may have never even _existed_ in this reality. To have faded and now exist as nothing but a folk tale, a tale people can't even seem to get right...

I regarded the elf for a second as she continued flying us to our destination.

_Well, at least there's _some_ magic left in this world..._

-Ω-

It didn't take long to reach the Emerald Isle, and soon we were skimming across the clouds, Ireland's green fields visible in the gaps below us. Sooner than I would have thought possible, we were beginning our descent.

In the distance, surrounded by dense forests, I could see a tall walled structure, a medieval-style building contained within.

"Hmm, well-preserved castle," I observed, sitting up in my seat.

"That's where we're headed," Artemis said as he began digging in his pockets.

I blinked. "_That's_ Fowl Manor?" I gaped. I mean, I knew the kid must've been well provided for, what with having a _manor_ and a bodyguard and all, but that was one seriously-sized house.

He nodded and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. "Silence, please," he said, punched up a number and set the phone down on the dash in front of him.

The ringing sound from the phone's loudspeaker was soon replaced by a soft, but somewhat startled and concerned, female voice. "Arty, is that you?"

Artemis slumped his shoulders. "Yes, mother, it's me."

Her voice turned slightly frantic. "Are you all right? You never called since you left, I've been worried sick! What's been going on?"

Artemis' voice turned calming. "It's fine, mother. I'm quite well, all of us are. I'm just calling to tell you I'll be home in a moment. I should warn you, I'm bringing guests, is that okay?"

There was a pause. "When you say guests, do you mean guests...or do you mean..._guests_?"

Artemis breathed out tiredly, "The latter. Are we okay?"

"Yes, yes, it's quite alright. Your father's already left on his trip to Italy and I've tucked Miles and Beckett in for the night."

"Excellent. We'll be landing in a moment."

"Okay, I'll be waiting. _Oh_, and Holly?" she asked uncertainly.

"Yes, Angeline?" Holly asked as she manoeuvred the shuttle lower.

"_Please_ be careful when you land, I just got the flowerbed how I like it."

She smiled. "I'll do my best."

"See you all soon," she said brightly as Artemis ended the call.

"So," I began, "your mother knows about fairies?"

Artemis let out a loud sigh. "That's the thing about mothers; you can keep something from them, but they always seem to find out in the end."

I laughed without humor. "_Yeah_..."

-Ω-

We landed without incident and, with the exception of accidentally melting a statue with the shuttle's thruster assembly; Holly did indeed manage not to mess up Mrs Fowl's garden.

Upon entering the lavish building, Artemis was immediately swept up into his waiting mother's arms, much to his obvious embarrassment. "Mother, _please_..." he grumbled as she hugged him.

She pushed him to arm's length and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "_Mother_?"

He glanced away, blushing. "Sorry, mum..."

She smiled widely. "That's my boy, "she said, ruffling his formerly perfectly-combed hair affectionately.

She then turned her attention to the elf. "Ah, Holly, you're looking well."

Holly smiled. "And you, Angeline."

She then caught my gaze. "_Oh_, and who do we have here?"

I inclined my head respectfully. "Armani, ma'am, Armani Dove, pleasure to meet you, Mrs Fowl," I said, extending a hand.

She giggled slightly and shook it. "Oh, that's sweet, and you can just call me Angeline. You're quite tall for a fairy, if you don't mind my saying so."

I blinked, not quite sure how to respond. Thankfully, Artemis chose that moment to intervene. "Moth- ahh- _mum_, he's not a fairy."

She blinked and laughed slightly. "_Oh_, I'm so sorry; I just thought since...well...this is the first time Arty's ever brought a _human_ home."

"_Mother_..."

"Oh, I'm not human; I'm a demigod."

She blinked, opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "What?"

"Demigod," I repeated.

"As in..."

"My mother's a Greek goddess. I'm from another universe."

Must_ you say this as though it's a normal thing?_

She stared at me blankly for a second, and then smiled, patting me on the cheek. "Of course you are. Will our guests be spending the night, Artemis?"

He nodded. "Yes, mother, they will most likely need to spend several nights –ah, if that's _okay_, mother."

"Of _course_ it is, since you so rarely bring friends over. Butler, prep a couple of guest rooms, would you?"

"Of course, Mrs Fowl," he said with a slight bow of his head.

"And Juliet, would you be a dear and fetch some refreshments?"

She nodded. "I'm on it."

Artemis walked towards the stairway. "Come with me, would you, Armani? I wish to talk to you. Holly, would you please stay here and explain things to my mother?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, make me the bearer of insane news... _fine._" The elf lead Angeline through another doorway.

"Armani," Artemis prompted, and I followed.

-Ω-

Artemis led me into a lavish study, the walls lined with books. There was a fireplace on one wall, the back of the room lined with windows. He walked to the desk that dominated the end of the room and settled down in the high-backed chair behind it.

"Would you care to take a seat?" he offered, indicating the chairs in front the desk and then the red leather couch against the wall.

I ignored him for now and began walking slowly down the side of the bookshelves, eyeing the vast collection of expensive-looking tomes. "No thanks," I mumbled distractedly. "I'm okay on my feet."

"As you wish. Now then; about getting you home."

That got my attention. I swung around and dropped into one of the chairs. "So you _do_ know a way?"

"Of course I know a way. Although there _is_ a complication, we're going to-" He was interrupted as Juliet entered with a tray of drinks.

"Here you go, boys. Holly's downstairs giving Mrs. Fowl the abridged version. She should be up in a little bit. I was in a rush, so I just made ham-and-cheese sandwiches. I hope you're not a vegetarian, Armani."

"No, if anything I'm by nature a little on the carnivorous side, thanks," I said, accepting the food and digging in as Juliet lounged on the sofa.

"So what were you chatting about?"

I swallowed a bite. "Artemis was just about to explain his plan to get me home."

"_Really?_ That's great, can I listen in?"

Artemis shrugged as he nibbled a sandwich. "You can stay, although I'd like to wait for Holly first. Given the available options, I'd need her input to be sure of our choice of action." As he spoke, he booted up the laptop on his desk and began working in a very isolated silence.

As we waited for Captain Short to arrive, I stood and crossed back to the bookshelf, running a hand along the spines of the books. I paused as my eyes caught sight of Latin writing. "Hmm, what have we here?" I mused and slid the book free of the shelf.

Artemis glanced sharply up from his work. "Please, be very careful with that, it's hundreds of years old."

I nodded. "I'll say; the pages are much older than the cover, though." I said, noticing that the inside was written in a refreshingly ancient form of Latin, whilst the spine was a much more modern dialect, if you can call a dead language _modern_.

"Yes, it was bound during the fifteenth century; the pages are a collection of parchments from various time periods, some ranging back as far as three thousand years ago. The collections' name is-"

"Legends of the Huntress Diana; yes, I know."

He blinked. "You can read that?"

I cocked my head. "I'm genetically disposed to read Ancient Greek. Like most half-bloods, we're dyslexic when it comes to reading anything else; it's one of our shortcomings. However, even Latin is easier to read than English."

"Dyslexia?"

"Hmm," I nodded in confirmation as I flicked through the pages gently. "You have quite a few books on my mother, I see."

He shrugged slightly as he typed. "I'm curious about my namesake. Is that odd?"

"Not at all...Oh, look, is that supposed to be a picture of my mother?"

He paused and eyed me, leaning up to glance at the page I was looking at. "Inaccurate, is it?"

I frowned at the picture.

_Where to begin?_

"Hair's too short, bow's wrong, she's normally not that tall..." I flicked through a few more pages and read some of the "facts". "Oh, well that's a load of bull, for a start,"

I put the book back on the shelf and pulled down its neighbour. It was in Greek, but looked much more modern and had to be from some time in the few past centuries or so. I smiled ironically as I read the title aloud. "'The Huntress Selene: Myths and Legends'"

"That's another of Artemis' names, although I'm relatively sure you're aware of that."

I laughed. "Oh, _painfully _so," I said as I perused the book. "Oh, _come on!_ Juliet, have you got a pen on you?"

"Sure," she said, reaching into her pocket and tossing me a black marker.

"Honestly, just because Apollo's the god of archery everyone automatically _assumes_ he won that match," I said, popping the cap off the pen and hovering over the page.

Artemis glanced up from his screen for a second and practically screeched in a girly falsetto, "_STOP!_"

I paused, my pen hovering over a picture of Apollo gloating smugly by a target with an arrow buried in the centre... it was a disturbingly accurate portrayal of him. "_What_?"

"What part of please be careful with those did you not comprehend?"

I blinked. "I _was_ being careful. In fact, I was making them _better._ This information is highly inaccurate, not to mention more than a little insulting to my mother."

"Just,_ please,_ put the pen down."

Holly waltzed in at that moment. "Right, so I've given your mother the short of it. I'm sure she'll have more questions later, but right now she just seems happy to help the 'little lost boy', as she put it. So what's happening up here, then?"

"Artemis is plotting his schemes and Armani's drawing in Artemis' books."

"_Oh_, so what's the plan, Artemis? Armani, stop writing in the corner of that page."

"What!" Artemis snapped, leaping to his feet.

"Made you look," the elf grinned.

He shot Holly a withering glare. "Don't _joke_ about that," he groaned, settling back down and returning to his screen. "And please put that back, Armani."

"Fine." I sighed, drew a quick pair of glasses on Apollo, gave him a mustache, and returned the book to its shelf.

_Mwah hah hah._

"Well, Artemis? What's the scheme this time?" Holly asked, sliding down into one of the chairs opposite the desk.

Sensing things were about to take a serious note, I sat myself down into the other chair. "So, yeah, _can_ you really get me home?"

He steepled his fingers on the desk in front of him and regarded us. "Okay then, I've kept you waiting long enough. The premise is simple. As you can imagine, this will require interdimensional travel, and you are aware that there is only one method at hand with which we can use to accomplish this, don't you, Holly?"

"Magic?"

Artemis nodded. "Magic."

I blinked. "So, what? You're just going to _magic _me back to my own universe?"

"It's not that simple, but it is the general idea. We've used magic to cross dimensional barriers before, even to move through time. It's a simple matter for us to duplicate the method."

Holly frowned. "You'll need Nº1's help to do that though, and you can't possibly think the council will give the okay to let the most powerful warlock under the planet come to the surface just to help one human. No offense, Armani."

"None taken."

Artemis smiled. "I think you'll find that if we ask Nº1 himself, he'll be more than happy to help. As you recall, once he's decided to do something, the Council's objections become feeble at best."

Holly rolled her eyes. "I don't like it, but I suppose you're right. So we get Nº1 to create a magic circle and we take Armani back to his own dimension, and then return ourselves?"

I felt a note of excitement spark in me. "Really? You can just do that?"

Artemis smiled. "No."

_Oh._

I glanced away. "Please, don't smile when dashing someone's hopes."

He shook his head. "Allow me to finish. We can't just do it_;_ there's a complication."

Excitement was back. At least there was hope. "A complication? What kind of complication?"

"This arrow of fate; it destroyed the space-time event you occupied in your universe beyond that point in time, in effect preventing you from existing in your world after the arrow did its job. If we were to simply return you to your own universe, at this point in time, you'd be destroyed instantly."

"So, what can you do? Send me into the past and just live _there_? Frankly, it'd be less painful if I just remained in this universe."

"Do not lose faith, my friend. There's a very simple way around it."

I frowned. "There is?"

He nodded. "It's simple; the key is that the arrow didn't destroy your _past_. That gives us our opening. We just have to put you back in your time as a _new_ space-time event."

_He calls this _simple?

"So…We go into my universe…but in the _past?_"

He nodded. "Then travel forward to a point _after_ you were destroyed. The magic should smooth out the edges, so you don't need to worry about your presence damaging reality like your duplicate did when she entered your universe. In essence, we'll be fooling the laws of causality into allowing you to exist again in your own universe."

I stared at him wordlessly for a moment. "Just when was it you planned all this out?"

He shrugged. "About thirty seconds after you had finished telling your story back on the hospital craft."

_Huh, so that's why he went all spacey back there._

"Right, so what's the problem?"

"The problem is that Nº1 would have to remain here to anchor us and bring us back."

I nodded. "So what?"

It was Holly who responded. "So it wouldn't be just one spell that would be needed, it'd be two. One to get us into your universe in the past, and a second to move us forward into the future, or present, whatever."

"You have magic, don't you? Can't you just perform the spell?"

She let out a quick laugh. "I can do magic, sure, but I wouldn't have _nearly_ enough power to pull off something like that. And as far as I know, the only delayed spells you can plant into someone are small ones, like mind wipes and such."

Artemis nodded. "Holly is quite correct."

I glanced between the two of them. "Then… how can I possibly get back?"

He gave a devious smirk. "Magic and delayed spells can not only be stored in people, but also in inanimate objects. For example, the time stop fields are created using the time stop _spell_ that warlocks had channelled into plain lithium-ion batteries, allowing the creation of a stable field for eight hours."

I frowned. "What? So we get him to channel the spell into batteries?"

He shook his head in response. "The batteries channel the spell through a series of dishes and are controlled by a computer system. Even _if_ we could somehow automate it, there'd simply be too much mass for even Nº1 to shift."

"I'm guessing you've got a solution, though."

"Of course I do. I just want you to know how much opposition I overcame before coming to the solution."

"Egotist," Holly muttered.

"Guilty. The thing is, within the time stop equipment, it contains a source, a _template_ if you will, for the sort of life-forms that need to be maintained. The magic is first channelled through this source, then out the dishes."

"What kind of template?" I asked.

"Coal," he said simply.

I blinked. "_Coal_?"

"Precisely. Coal is essentially a chunk of condensed carbon, and the life forms needing to be sustained are carbon-based. In theory, the magic could be stored in the coal itself, but you'd need so _much_ of it to contain the spell that it wouldn't be practical, so batteries are used and then channelled through it."

I hummed. "So, how much coal would we need to hold all the magic needed for this?"

"About a metric ton."

"Again…I'm guessing that's a little too much mass."

Again he smiled. "It is indeed. Can you see where this is going?" he asked me.

I tapped a finger off my chin in thought. "So…we need carbon, just really, _really_ condensed, then we get this Number One guy to do the spell into it."

Artemis nodded. "We then get Nº1 to transport us into the past of your own universe, and then the delayed spell contained within the source will take us automatically into the present."

I blinked. "Wow, you're good."

He smiled. "Aren't I?"

Holly butted in. "Okay, don't swell his ego any bigger than it already is. You still haven't explained what we can use as this _source, _so hurry it up and don't use big words, Mud Boy. You're making my brain hurt."

Artemis frowned. "I did explain; I said we need a super-condensed mass of carbon. Surely you know what that means."

I blinked as I remembered my basic physics. "_Diamond_. We need a diamond," I breathed as realization dawned.

Artemis inclined his head.

Holly rolled her eyes. "So, what? Are you saying all we have to do is go raid your mother's jewellery box?"

Artemis rested his hands carefully on his lap. "Not exactly."

Holly opened her mouth to ask, but no words came out. Her eyes were wide, and I noticed her chestnut-colored skin pale slightly. "Oh, this better not be going where I _think_ this is going." She slumped back into her chair, head in hands.

_That was an odd reaction..._

Artemis carried on as if not hearing her. "The problemhere is that there are only two diamonds of sufficient size that are currently accessible. Number one..."

He turned his laptop so the screen was facing us. On it, rotating in 3D on a blue background, was a large teardrop-shaped stone. "Frond's Soul, the largest diamond in the world or under it. It's currently mounted in the scepter of King Frond –an ancient fairy monarch—which is stored in a maximum-security vault in the heart of Haven. I would hazard a guess that the council would be less than willing to allow us to borrow it for a time."

Holly glanced up. "_No._ Pull the other one. Why _wouldn't _the council want to turn over the most valuable fairy artifact on the planet over to Artemis Fowl, the most notorious thief in all recorded history? To be frank, Artemis, the only thing they'd trust _you_ with would be a grenade with the pin pulled out."

"Hang on, what does she mean, _notorious_ _thief_?" I asked, glancing between the pair.

"The _most_ notorious, and we'll get to that. And, sarcasm aside, I _didn't _think the council was going to turn it over to me willingly."

Holly's glare turned icy. "You are _not_ stealing Frond's scepter, Artemis. It's one of our most important cultural artefacts, not just some gold bar. It's a symbol to the fairy people of a time when we _weren't _forced to cower under the earth in fear."

Artemis shook his head. "I'd never steal something like that and you know it. Regardless, it would be impossible, and that's another phrase I seldom use. The security around the scepter is impenetrable. It has enchantments around it that have been in place since it was put in the vault case centuries ago, ones so old and powerful that even the _staff_ aren't sure what they do. No, not even Opal Koboi would dare try to steal the scepter from its current location."

"What's Opal Koboi?"

"_Who,_" Holly corrected. "Long story short: she's a pixie whose notable qualities are being utterly insane; hobbies include illegal genetic experimentation and world domination."

"Charming."

"Quite_,"_ Artemis said, bringing our attention back to him, "but as I was saying; the scepter is, of course, out of our reach."

"I'm guessing this is where option number two comes in," I said.

That smirk reappeared and a chill went down my spine. "It is indeed." He leaned over the screen and punched a key. The fairy jewel was immediately replaced by a zoomed-in image of another diamond. "Behold the Greater Star of Africa, also known as the Cullinan I diamond. Clocking in at over five hundred carats, it's the third-largest diamond in the world after Frond's Soul and the Golden Jubilee Diamond. It is currently the most accessible and also the closest to our current location."

I frowned. "Star of Africa…I've heard of it somewhere, what's it famous for again?" I mused out loud.

I noticed Artemis' smile widen a notch. "Shall I jog your memory?" he asked, and then, with a click of the Laptop's touchpad, the image panned out. The diamond became smaller until it was clear that the gem was embedded in a golden scepter.

"What is that?" I asked, frowning at the image.

"_That_ is the Scepter of the Cross, and _that,_" he said, clicking the button again as the image zoomed completely out, revealing the scepter to be in the hand of a very familiar old lady. I found myself unable to stifle a gasp as Artemis continued, "Is Queen Elizabeth the Second."

I found my jaw hanging open. "You're absolutely mad if you're implying what I think you're implying."

His smirk became so wide I can only call it _vampiric_, which is a term I generally avoid like the plague. "There's a fine line between genius and madness, my friend, but I assume you know exactlywhat it is I'm implying: I'm planning on stealing the Scepter of the Cross, and _you_," he said, leaning forward over the monitor, "my immortal friend, are going to help me do it."

Holly rolled her eyes, as if to say '_typical_', so I turned to Juliet. "Are you getting this at all? Do you _get_ what he's saying?"

To my amazement, she just shrugged. "So Artemis Fowl wants to steal the Crown Jewels… it was bound to happen sooner or later."

Holly shot Artemis a glare. "What was that about not taking important cultural artifacts?"

He kept smiling. "You know we're only borrowing it, Holly. I'll return it as soon as we get home."

She raised a single eyebrow. "I'm supposed to believe Artemis Fowl will just _return_ a priceless jewel that he's got firmly in his grasp?"

Artemis looked offended. "_Holly_…Would I lie to you?"

I'm not sure if this statement was intended as a joke or not, but judging by the fact that Holly had responded by slugging Artemis between the eyes and sending him sprawling backwards over his chair, I doubt she found it amusing.

Butler burst in at that point. "What's happened?"

Juliet sighed. "It's nothing; Holly just punched Artemis in the face."

Shockingly, the boy's manservant just sighed. "Again?_"_

"He had it coming," Holly said.

I ignored the exchange altogether, regarding the boy as he climbed to his feet, nursing his nose.

_I was dead wrong; this kid's not Athena. He's Hermes all the way._

-Ω-

_To be continued..._

[A/N] And that's that for the beta releases for now. The remainder of this little escapade will be reuploaded once the rest of the fic has been finished, now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to continue working on Chapter 4...

I'll see you in Chapter 3: Deed and Journey


	3. Chapter 3: Deed and Journey

[A/N] And prior to the release of Chapter four I'm putting out the beta of this one too. Hope you enjoy, next chapter will be out a little later on in the day, in the mean time drop in at and post a vote for Broken Bow 2 for the Verita award. Enjoy this beta by Shrrgnien and as I said I'll get the next chapter up today.

**A Boy Called Artemis**

**Chapter 3: Deed and Journey**

I had retired to one of the guest rooms. Its large four-poster bed was more imposing than any bit of furniture I'd ever slept on before. I had tried objecting, stating that I would much rather stay up during the night and sleep during the day, but Mrs. Fowl wouldn't have any of it. Captain Short seemed equally disgruntled, but she seemed to have had no sleep since the cracks in the sky had closed, so she ended up retiring as well.

Although physically I wasn't exhausted, _mentally…_well, let's just say it had been one heck of a day, so in the end I did manage to drift off.

Unfortunately, my sleep wasn't what you would call calm; nor, more pointedly, was it what you would call _dreamless_.

I found myself in a forest. The trees were bare, as if during winter, and a white haze clung to the ground.

As I walked I could hear the occasional snap of a dead twig underfoot. Above, the sky was an endless white. I paused to look around the limbo-like forest. The air was filled with a strange, gaunt quiet.

I looked at my hands and then downwards to make sure I was still me and not looking through someone else's eyes.

"_Okay_," I muttered. "I'm still in my own body, Apollo doesn't exist here and I don't see anything eye-catching, so I'm going to assume that this isn't one of those weird _omen_ dreams."

"_Correct."_

I felt my heart jump into my throat as I swung around to the source of the voice. At first I saw no one, but when I looked down I found a snow-white wolf squatting on its haunches and looking up at me with a pair of inquisitive silver eyes.

"Umm, hey there little guy..." I said, reaching down to pet the wolf whilst eying my surroundings warily for the source of the voice. "Who's there?" I called out into the whiteness.

The voice sighed. _"That would be me."_

I flinched back from the wolf as I realized the voice had come from it. Its mouth hadn't moved, but somehow I knew the sound was coming from the animal. "Did you just talk?"

"_I did."_

"But... You're a wolf."

"_Also correct._"

"I'm not Native American," I said quickly.

The wolf cocked its head. _"Your point being?"_

"You're not my spirit guide, then?"

"_You really do come out with the most absurd assumptions."_

"Okay then. I suppose the question you're waiting for me to ask is; who, or what, are you?"

"_Don't you know?"_

"That's why I'm asking."

The wolf seemed disgruntled at the response. _"I am the true form of your instincts. Well, perhaps a personification would be the more accurate term, but this is not the time to argue semantics."_

I frowned. "Hang on a sec... _YOU'RE _the annoying voice in my head?"

The wolf bared its teeth. _"I really wish you wouldn't refer to me as that."_

"Let me ask you; would it be considered animal cruelty for me to punch you in the face right now?"

"_You really are an ingrate at times. You're alive today because of me, you know."_

I circled the small animal. "Alright then, I have a question."

"_I thought you might."_

I frowned as I thought how best to put it. "Why... _How_ are you here? Isn't instinct subconscious? How can you be _consciously _talking? It really gets annoying sometimes."

"_Firstly, this _is_ your subconscious_, _which is one of the ways I'm able to be here. Secondly, the reason I can '__talk'_ _to you is quite simple. All animals have an instinct, some sharper than others. Yours, as a child of Artemis, just happens to be exponentially more pronounced."_

"Then why do you keep disagreeing with me?"

The wolf let out what I can only describe as a frustrated growl. _"Because I'm _not _you. I am, to put it simply, one of your powers as a half-blood, possibly your most useful if I don't say so myself. You may note my presence becoming more noticeable after Lady Artemis saved you and then claimed you as her child."_

"Yes, you have become a lot chattier as of late, e_specially_ in this world. I mean, what was up with that whole taking-control-of-me thing you did earlier?"

"_Chattier?__ Always a charmer...Perhaps to answer your questions. It would be more accurate to say that I am not so much your instinct _alone_, but a fragment of the power of Artemis that exists within you, a piece of the Hunt, and at the moment you and I are the only pieces of the Hunt that exist in this universe. When you think of it that way, the reason I can commune with you so clearly becomes simple. Have you ever tried to fall asleep with a dripping tap in the background?"_

I narrowed my eyes at the wolf. "You know I can't."

The wolf cocked its head. _"Why not? It's hardly a very loud thing."_

I rolled my eyes. "_Yeah, _but when you're in bed at night and it's really quiet, then it becomes…_oh_, so that's where you were going..."

"_Precisely. You can hear me better here because there is nothing else _to_ hear."_

"_Great; _A dripping tap I can't turn off."

"_You should be-"_

I shook my head and interrupted, "I'm sorry, but can't we do this some other way?"

"_I don't follow."_

"The whole speaking-without-opening-your-mouth thing; it's creepy talking to a disembodied voice coming from the _general_ _direction_ of a wolf."

"_You would prefer I opened my mouth whilst speaking? On a wolf, I would've thought that'd look a tad-"_

"_Silly_, yes, I know. Change forms then."

The wolf seemed a bit indignant at the request. _"I felt this form best personifies what I am."_

"My instinct is a wolf?" I enquired dryly.

The wolf snorted. _"I _am _a wolf. And _you_ are a pup, with all the pointless immaturity and playfulness that _isn't_ needed on the hunt, along with your _staggering_ cluelessness about how the world around you works!"_

Did my instinct just rant at me?

"_YES, I DID!"_

I blinked and staggered back a step. "S-sorry...Could you _please_ just change into something I can talk to properly?"

"_As you wish..._" and at that the wolf leapt forwards. It shifted in midair and settled into another form:

Edward Cullen.

"Not funny! _Not __freakin' __funny!"_ I yelped, stabbing a finger at the wolf/instinct/sparkling vampire.

"_Really? I found it somewhat amusing."_

"Change! Change now!" I warned.

The manifestation rolled its eyes. _"Fine, if you want me to pick an apt human form that personifies me..."_

I stepped back as the wolf/you-know-what shifted with a blur into a new form. I gaped at the familiar face as it cocked its head and examined itself up and down. "_Selene?_"

Selene/Instinct groaned tiredly and spoke, using my counterpart's voice. "_Hardly_. _Now are you- Oh, what now?" s_he sighed, clearly reading the confused look on my face.

I raised my index finger in thought. "_Right_. Question 1: This form personifies my instinct in human form, correct?"

"_That is what I said."_

"Okay, then that leads me right smack dab into Question 2: Why in the heck are you a _girl_?"

She/it raised an auburn eyebrow. "_Did you really think a personified part of the Hunt, a fragment of Artemis herself, would appear as a _male_?"_

"But...You're part of _me._"

"_Again,_ _correct."_

"B-but…I'm a boy."

"_Yes,__ I noticed. What's your point?"_

"B-but, it's just... I'm a... and you're a..._Oh,_ I give up! I'll just settle for saying I'm disturbingly well in touch with my feminine side...in a somewhat horrifyingly _literal_ sense at that."

"_You like to moan a lot. Has anyone ever said that to you?"_

"Well, to be perfectly frank, I have quite a lot to moan _about_. If anything, you'll find I'm being quite restrained most of the time."

She…It…I'll settle for _she_ waltzed over and leaned against the trunk of a nearby tree. _"So then, any more_ _questions?" _

"Just one; was that, "I paused to shudder, "_Dream_... earlier on your doing?"

She shrugged. _"I will admit I was partly responsible, but it was your mind that conjured up the images. All I did was inspire you to think of them."_

"It was _cruel_!"

Again, she shrugged. _"I would call it necessary._ _Although, should you not be wondering why, for something you hate, your mind has such a well-formed catalogue of names and images with which to create such a vivid dream? Personally, when there's something I dislike, I don't pay rapt enough attention to have effectively memorized, albeit subconsciously, the names and faces of characters I cannot stand."_

I made no reply. It was, after all, a disturbingly good point.

"_Of course it was."_

"And stop_ doing _that!"

She raised her eyebrow again. _"You're asking a part of your mind to stop reading your mind?"_

"You-_" _I snapped, stabbing a finger at Selene/Instinct, "you-you are _not_ part of my mind! You're some crazy evil spirit thing that lives in my head!"

She nodded ponderingly. _"I_ do _live in your head... in a way…and I suppose I _am_ a spirit of sorts. Although out of our partnership I would_ _hardly__ allow _myself_ to be labeled the __crazy__ one. After all, _I_ wouldn't spend a good portion of my time arguing with another aspect of my own personality, nor would I _lose_ most of those arguments."_

We were going off on a tangent and we both knew it, but when I get started..."Since when have I ever _lost_ an argument to you?"

She looked away. _"They were moral victories..."_

"'Moral victories?'" I echoed dryly.

"_Yes, because you never listen to me! If you'd _listen_ to your instinct, like most _intelligent _living things __do__, you wouldn't get into half the peril you normally do!"_

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "You've been waiting to get this off your chest, haven't you? And, yes, I do ignore you at times, for there are times when I _shouldn't _listen to you."

'Selene' pushed herself off from the tree and began circling me, her braid swaying in a nonexistent breeze. _"Oh, this should be amusing. Why don't you name _one?"

I leveled my gaze at her, as I recalled the first time my instinct and I had _really_ not seen eye to eye. "Do you remember the night I—_we_—first met our mother?"

She frowned. _"Of course_."

"See, I remember it clearly, since it was the first time I ever disagreed with you. We were being chased by a hellhound at the time, do you remember?"

She glanced away, screwing her face into a pout. "_I do..._"

"I sensed my mother's presence for the first time in my life and was drawn towards her. Do you remember what you did?"

She gritted her teeth, but didn't respond.

"You tried to stop me! If I _had_ listened to you, there's a good chance I'd have never met my mother, and I would have died as a result."

"_Accepted,_" she muttered, not meeting my eyes.

"Good. So why don't you tell me; why_ did _you try and stop me?"

"_I was, at best, a suppressed part of you back then. All I knew was that you were heading into danger, and so I tried to stop you."_

I frowned at her inquisitively. "Is that all?"

She grumbled, _"Must you know?_"

"No, but I'd like to."

She went silent for a moment. _"I was scared..."_

I blinked. "Come again?"

"_I am a part of the Hunt. I am a part of you, of the powers that are governed by Artemis, and am also a part of her directly."_

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"_To put it simply...the Hunt itself was afraid of what would happen if Artemis and you came into contact. In a way, you could say a part of Artemis herself was afraid of you the whole time, she just didn't know it."_

I waved a hand. "So are you saying you're some kind of mystical interface between the Hunt and myself?"

She inclined her head. _"I dislike the analogy, but I will admit it is an apt one, so yes; that is the basic premise."_

"Huh...And I suppose this all ties in with that maternal bond thing between my mother and me, right?"

She frowned, and then shook her head. _"No...That bond exists only between Artemis and yourself, I have neither influence nor control over it. However, it is because of that bond that I have come to speak to you tonight."_

"I'm listening. To be honest, I did think there was more to this than a simple 'nice to meet you'."

She nodded. _"First of all; I want you to listen to the boy."_

I frowned. "You mean Artemis?"

She inclined her head. _"Yes... His methods may seem somewhat morally dubious to you, but you must go along with him, for he's the best, if not only, opportunity you have for getting home."_

I sighed. "I might have complained, but I was planning on going along with whatever scheme he cooks up anyways."

She nodded. _"I had to be sure, as I cannot risk your hesitation in this matter."_

"Okay, I promise I'll listen to him, but why the severity? What's this got to do with my mother and me?"

This time she glowered at me. _"Do you have _any idea_ what your supposed death will have done to Lady Artemis?"_

I frowned, my hand unconsciously going to rest above my navel. "I don't follow. I mean... _I_ feel fine."

She bared her teeth angrily, her molars looking a little longer than normal. "_Of course you do! The power of Lady Artemis, the power of the wild, exists in all worlds! How do you think you're still able to use your power here? But I know you're trying to suppress the sorrow and despair of not feeling Lady Artemis' presence in the world around you!"_

"So what?" I shouted, a well of pain opening up inside me that I controlled with great difficulty.

My instinct took a deep breath. "_The power of Artemis may exist in every reality, but the same cannot be said for you."_

I was about to ask what she was on about, but I knew it in my heart already. "Mother..."

She inclined her head. _"You didn't die, so you didn't just leave her existence and go to the Underworld as you normally should have; you were _torn_ away, ripped from her so violently that-"_

"That's enough..." I interrupted in a small voice, wavering on my feet.

"_Is it __really__?" _she asked sardonically. _"I just want you to know what your absence is doing right now. Even as we speak, people are mourning, but it cannot come _close_ to what Lady Artemis is-"_

"I said that's enough!" I shouted desperately, dropping to my knees whilst trying to stop the oncoming tears.

Her voice calmed. _"It may take centuries for Artemis to fully recover, and by then the damage to the people, and indeed the entire world that depend on her, will be great."_

I took a shuddering breath. "Understood. I won't fail."

She walked over to me and dropped onto her haunches, a small smile on her face. "_Don't worry... So long as you do your best, I won't _let_ you fail. I just want you to trust me. I'll keep you safe," _she said soothingly, and slowly cupped my cheek in the palm of my hand. "_Sweet dreams..._"

-Ω-

I awoke with a start, wiping my overly moist eyes on my sheets as I sat up. I glanced out the window and noticed it was still dark outside, near dawn as best I could see.

I gave a start as I found my regular clothes had somehow been cleaned and pressed whilst I slept and were neatly folded at the foot of my bed. "Efficient," I observed, grabbing the clothes and the towel resting next to them.

I slipped into a dressing gown; an elaborate golden _F_ was etched into the fabric over the breast. I then went to hunt myself down a shower.

-Ω-

Fowl Manor was eerily quiet as I walked down its vast stairway towards the ornate front doors, feeling the urge to absorb some fresh morning air. I opened the door slowly, half-expecting them to squeak loudly, but the well-oiled hinges opened smoothly and silently.

To my surprise, it turned out I wasn't the only early bird in the house. I found Captain Short sitting on the stone steps in silence, looking out into the direction dawn would be coming from.

"You're up early," I said, and the Captain gasped, swinging around slightly.

She exhaled a breath and turned back. "I could say the same. Couldn't sleep?"

I cocked my head and slumped down next to her. "I had a somewhat... _restless_ night. I've always been nocturnal by heart; child of a moon goddess and all that."

She nodded. "Same; our powers don't work as well during the day, so we tend to only work during twilight and night. _However_, "she said, stretching slightly, "when I end up getting tangled in Artemis Fowl's affairs, as I so often do, I find myself becoming less and less of a night-elf. So here I am; getting up early to reset my body clock."

Silence fell for a moment. "May I ask you something?"

She cocked her head. "Go ahead."

"It's just…I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but…why are you going to all this trouble to help me?"

Her eyebrows went up at the question and the beginnings of a smile tugged on her lips. "Do you need a reason to help someone? Besides, _someone_ has to keep an eye on Artemis."

"But, aren't you a cop?" I asked.

"I'm a member of the Lower Elements Police, yes. What about it?"

"You are aware we're about to go off and commit grand larceny, and commit what they call a crime against the crown, aren't you?"

She sighed. "We don't really look on crimes against humans the same way; we frown more on the fact that the fairy committing the crime could be discovered in the act. But either way, just don't tell anyone."

"This is a big risk, you know. Stealing a crown jewel isn't like shoplifting; you really _could_ be discovered."

A small smirk played on her lips. "I'm flattered that you'd worry so much, but there's no need. We elves are very _adept_ at staying out of sight when we need to."

I nodded. "Okay, but what about _him_? What's his motivation in this?"

She glanced back at the doors. "If it were a few years ago, I'd instantly jump to the assumption that he's wanting the stone for himself."

"And now?"

She sighed again. "_Now,_ I really can't say. Artemis Fowl really is an enigma. Perhaps he _is_ planning to keep it, or perhaps..." she trailed off.

"Perhaps what?"

She smiled ironically. "Perhaps he really is just trying to do a good deed..."

I nodded in thought, "Perhaps, but there was a familiar look in his eye when he described his plan."

"What kind of look?"

I regarded the sun starting to peak over the trees. "Like a Hunter about to go on the hunt."

Holly inclined her head, her smile returning. "Doing it for the challenge, huh? Now that's _very_ Artemis Fowl." At that she stood up. "If you'll excuse me, It's best I go somewhere out of sight before the twin terrors wake up. You coming in?"

"In a moment," I said, wanting to absorb the last few calm moments of night before it gave way to day.

I heaved out a sigh as I was bathed in the beams of dawning sun.

_I really do hate mornings..._

-Ω-

Artemis Fowl wasn't much for mornings either, as it turned out. Although having a half-blood flip you out of bed by way of a wakeup call would be enough to make anyone grouchy.

"Just what do you think you are doing?" Artemis snapped indignantly, still half tangled in his sheets and clawing his way back onto the bed.

Armani just smiled. "Sorry. I got a little impatient waiting for you to wake up."

Butler chose that instant to burst in, his hand inside his jacket. "Artemis!"

The boy waved him off, scowling at the demigod. "It's quite alright, Butler. Our _friend_ here was just waking me up."

He cocked an eyebrow at Armani, who just shrugged. "I did knock, but he simply refused to respond. I tried shaking him gently; I really was left with no other choice."

"You could've _waited_ for me to get up," Artemis said, straightening his blue striped PJs.

"You have bed hair," Armani said, pointing a finger at Artemis' ruffled mess of black hair. "You should condition."

Artemis gritted his teeth. "Thank you for that wonderful observation. Now, if you would please excuse me while I make myself presentable?"

"Of course," Armani said with a cordial smile, and left the room.

Artemis sighed and slung on his bathrobe. "I get the feeling that before this is through I'm going to end up heartily disliking that boy," the genius said, storming out of the room.

Butler didn't comment, but did his best conceal the hint of a smile on his lips.

-Ω-

"Get _down_ from there!" Artemis snapped as he strolled into his study with Butler just behind him. Armani Dove was laid out casually on top of one of Artemis' bookshelves, polishing off a bacon sandwich.

"Wow, and I thought _I_ was grouchy in the morning. I like it up here. Reminds me of one of my favorite trees, although I suspect that's more to do with the pine scented polish someone's used," Armani said, not budging and licking some stray ketchup clean from his fingertips.

Artemis sat behind his desk and glared up at the boy. "Those are eighteenth century mahogany. They're _extremely_ valuable." He sighed as he noticed the other person in the room. "Why didn't you tell him to get down, Holly?"

The elf, who was resting with her feet on Artemis' desk whilst eating an apple, shrugged. "He got me by surprise, Artemis. He took full advantage of the fact that I didn't care."

"Devious, aren't I?" Armani grinned, munching down his crusts.

Artemis rolled his eyes. "_Please_ get down. There are matters to discuss."

The levity in Armani's eyes evaporated as he grasped his saucer, twisted about and slid down off the bookshelf. He strolled to the desk and set himself down in the other chair. "So you've got a plan, have you?"

"Of course I have a plan," Artemis replied. Switching his laptop on and bringing up a webpage, he slid the unit around so the others could see. "Take a look…"

Armani and Holly leaned in. "'02 Arena to play host to international gemstone exhibit'," Armani said, reading off the page.

Artemis nodded. "This is what sparked the idea in the first place. There is to be an exhibit showcasing some of the most valuable gems in the world at the Arena in London this week. For the most part the exhibit will merely show a spattering of midgrade gems hardly worth our time. However, on the showcase evening, _this_ was put on display," he said, and moved the page down to show an image of a display case. There were several gems resting on black velvet pads, but it was what was behind them, resting on a raised podium, that caught everyone's attention.

"Is that…" Armani began to ask, and Artemis nodded.

"The Star of Africa. There will be two gala evenings; there was one two days ago when the gem was first presented, and there will be another when, for that night only, it will be on display with the other parts of the Cullinan Diamond."

"So… we take it while it's on display?" Armani asked.

Artemis' brow scrunched up in thought. "That is one of the possibilities, but first we must go there."

"Go where?"

"To the exhibit, of course. There is something I must confirm, and since the security is on an isolated system I cannot hack into it remotely. Therefore, we must go and see for ourselves. That is our first step."

"So… we're going to, what's the phrase… ah yes, case the joint?" Armani asked.

Artemis smiled slightly in response. "But of course."

"Question," Armani said.

"Yes?"

"Does your mom know you're planning on stealing the crown jewels?"

"_Jewel_. Singular. My mother knows I'm planning a way to get you home, but I have not revealed the particulars, and I would prefer it to remain that way."

"She might object, huh?"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "The understatement of the millennium. Now come, we must prepare."

-Ω-

Apparently black Hunter's attire and Attaché suits were a little conspicuous for scoping out a target. So Angeline Fowl had been delighted to provide us with some _normal_ (as she put it) teenage clothes. She seemed so happy at the fact her son was choosing to wear something different that she had completely neglected to even ask what spurred him to want to.

From there it had been a simple matter for Artemis to ask Angeline if he could have Butler fly us over in their helicopter –seriously, a _helicopter?_- to London, so he could take me on a tour of _the sights,_ as he put it. Again, Angeline had been so delighted that she hadn't even raised a suspicious eyebrow. I guess her son must be _seriously_ on the anti-social side.

"That's it below." Artemis nodded out the side window.

I glanced down and frowned. "What kind of arena is that? Looks more like a giant circus tent."

He shrugged. "You're not far off. It was once called the Millennium Dome."

The name sparked a memory at the back of my head. "_Oh_, now I remember."

Artemis blinked. "You've seen it before?"

I scowled at the recollection. "Apollo took me when I was six for the millennium celebrations. He still hasn't apologized."

"_Yes_… It was a bit of a folly, wasn't it?"

"But why an arena? Wouldn't the Tower of London or something be better for an event like this?"

Artemis shook his head as Butler circled us downward. "The Exhibition Centre of the original Dome is one of the few places remaining. Since the start of the millennium, it's been retrofitted several times and has been recently renovated into a secure display area. Unfortunately, I've not been able to get a decent look at the structure or the security layout; even the blueprints are stored on independent systems with no outside access. So we're down to either breaking into a government facility just to get a tap into their system, or just walking into the arena and taking a look for ourselves."

I cocked my head. "Makes sense."

"Of course it does."

-Ω-

Moments later we had set down on the helipad of a building owned by Artemis' family, and soon we were strolling over a winding bridge across the Themes towards the domed arena. Just two ordinary, average teens and their hulking seven-foot bodyguard… yeah, we didn't really think that part through enough.

"Gods, I thought it was supposed to be summer here," I grumbled. The '_Jesus is coming, look busy'_ tee-shirt that Angeline had provided me was offering little protection against the crosswinds buffeting up the Themes.

Artemis shrugged. "It is. Unfortunately, in the British Isles, summertime is less a _season _and more an expression of irony," he said, idly pulling some imaginary lint away from his notably more sensible '_Osaka_' tee-shirt.

I nodded as we continued in silence towards our destination.

"Can we _really_ go sightseeing afterwards?"

"No."

"_Aaw…_"

-Ω-

It was a lot smaller than I remembered, although that could be in part to my being somewhat bigger.

The interior of the exhibit was lined wall to wall with interactive boards explaining the origins of different stones, the problems with blood diamonds, and so forth. These were interspersed with the occasional display case; they had been laid out in a way so that the overhead lighting created a prism effect from the diamonds throughout the exhibit.

"There," Artemis said, nodding towards the back of the room.

We approached with Butler doing his best to look inconspicuous (he didn't succeed). The back of the room was dominated by a large circular glass case, the same as we had seen in the image. Within were the stones, and, sure enough, resting inside anothercase was our target.

I half expected Artemis to be subtly glancing about, mapping out the security, but since he stopped all he had done was take one glance at the stone and then at a pair of side doors, then just stared off into the distance in thought.

I leaned in. "So what do you think?" I whispered, feeling conspiratorial. It was my first international crime, after all.

He mutely shook his head, then spoke. "It's just as I thought…"

I frowned, and glanced at the stone. "To be honest, I could probably take the two guards, bust the case, grab the stone, and be out of here before anyone can catch me. It's not like I'll have to worry about being caught afterwards."

A small smile tugged at Artemis' lips, although he was still clearly only half paying attention. "Your initiative is admirable, but unfortunately Butler will have been recognized by the security systems, and I'm still a poster boy for Interpol's keeping tabs on minors. Even if you did manage to shatter the bulletproof glass, and the super-reinforced inner case, and then managed to outrun both the guards and the automatic shutters, I'm afraid that would leave Butler and myself in a somewhat precarious situation."

I cocked my head. "Suppose I didn't think that through. So do we wait until it closes, come back and steal it then?"

He shook his head slightly. "No, I'm afraid it won't be that simple. Take a look around you."

I frowned and glanced about as subtly as I could. "I don't see anything odd."

"Come, friend, what is it you see? Or, more to the point, what is it you _don't _see?"

I took another quick look. "I see a bunch of tourists mingling about, a pair of grey security doors, a couple of security guards, and-"

Artemis butted in. "And what does that tell you? Listen to your instincts."

I grumbled, "I really don't have a thieving instinct, but…" I imagined instead the diamond as my prey, the rarest and most valuable prey in all creation, and then placed all the obstacles into the same context; the trees, other members of its pack, the weather, etc. until I saw the whole situation as a hunt. And in that instant, the answer became clear as day. I spoke instantly, without hesitation. "The target's too exposed. Something that valuable should have more protection, and I see two simple security guards protecting some of the most valuable gems on the planet."

Artemis smiled. "Indeed. Very good. Here, take a look at this," he said, and covertly slid out a phone that he had concealed from security on his way in. On its screen was the exhibit, only this time it was filled with black-suited dignitaries and women in fancy dresses. There were various members of the press mingling about, also. It was the security that was eye-catching in this case, though; subtly placed behind the occasional support pillar, or against a door, and even near to the main display case were nearly a dozen heavily-armed British police officers.

"I see what you mean…" I muttered, and Artemis returned his phone to its hiding place.

"And what does that tell you?" he asked, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"Either they've become extremely lax or subtle with their security…"

"_Or?_ " Artemis prodded.

"…Or that isn't the Star of Africa," I said, staring at the gem.

Artemis nodded. "Correct."

I frowned. "That's a bit of a rip-off, isn't it? I mean, these people paid good money expecting to see the real deal."

Artemis shrugged. "It's common practice to use replicas in circumstances like this. These people may have indeed paid _good money_ to see the stones, but I doubt that would be adequate compensation if, with one well-placed armed theft, the international community charged the British government for the loss of some of their most valuable treasures. For what it's worth, that's an exceptionally well-made replica. It probably cost at least a hundred pounds to have made, with a resale value of a good twenty-five if it's on sale two-for-one. That inner case serves to distort perspective just enough to fool the eye. On the gala evenings, the cases will be changed to allow proper viewing of the actual stones. "

"Still seems a bit of an extortion of the public, although considering we're planning on stealing the centerpiece, I suppose I don't have much of a right to argue."

"Quite."

"So where _are_ the originals?" I asked.

Artemis glanced down and began scribbling something in shorthand. He pointed up with his pencil. "I'd imagine it's somewhere behind those security doors. They're the only thing under guard. Unfortunately, there are probably a good twenty armed guards and security doors that would take a tank to break through between you and the actual diamonds. The Star itself, however, could very well be stored in a separate secure location altogether."

"Couldn't we just knock out the guards and use the fairies' technology to get through all the doors?"

He'd occasionally stop to scribble a note and continue again, but paused and hummed in thought as if considering it. He shook his head. "Too many variables. This is a public place, and even if we used fairy cam-foil to hide us, attacking the guards would draw too much attention and trigger a security alert."

"Then what do we do? I'm assuming you're planning something."

He cocked his head. "But of course," he said calmly, and strolled closer to the case. I watched as he made a show of dropping his pencil in front of him. He groaned audibly and bent down under the ropes, using his body to shield himself from the guard who glanced over from his position by the door. I observed as, with a quick move of his fingers, he slid what looked like a cable-tie from the top of the pencil and slid it around a tiny piece of exposed insolated cable running from a hole in the floor and immediately into the base of the case. With a movement of his pinkie he slid a piece of strange film over the tie and it seemed to blur and take on the exact shade, color and texture of the cable itself. Having done this in less than a second, Artemis snatched his pencil and stood back up.

I smacked him on the back of the head for effect. "Klutz."

He glared at me. "Weak, dude," he said in a convincing impression of an angry teen. He was very good at it; if I didn't know any better I could've sworn he really wanted to punch me in the face right there.

I groaned in a way any good teen who was bored out his mind would. "I've seen enough of these rocks. Can we go now, B?"

To his credit Butler didn't even blink, he just sighed like a tired parent, turned about and led us out.

As soon as we were clear, Artemis' hand went to the back of his head. "Was that really necessary?"

I shrugged. "I was just completing the act. Your peripheral vision obviously isn't up to par. That guard had already taken three steps over before I did that."

Artemis glared at me when Butler spoke up. "He's telling the truth, Artemis."

Artemis grumbled something inaudible in response and trudged on ahead.

"…B?" Butler asked after a moment.

"I got the feeling you wouldn't have wanted me to use your surname in public."

He nodded approvingly. "You're quite perceptive."

"Sometimes…" I said and caught up with the moping mortal. "So what was up with thing you did to the wire?"

He appeared to have set aside his irritation and was deep in thought again as he spoke. "That was a loaded fiber optic tie; it's quite an ingenious fairy invention."

"What does it do?"

"The problem we had was that we had no way to gain access to the security systems remotely. We do now. That exposed cord was a standard networking cable running into the base of the display case. The tie I wrapped around it contains fiber-optic micro-needles that pierce the cable and act as a remote link into the system that we can access at our leisure later on. I slipped some memory latex –another fairy creation- over it to keep it camouflaged."

I nodded my head appreciatively. "Clever, so the trip wasn't a total waste, then."

"A waste? Hardly. Everything turned out precisely as I had expected. I suspected the real diamond wouldn't be on display today; this was simply a reconnaissance trip, and it turned out extremely well. "

We pushed out into the afternoon air and headed back towards the bridge. "And so what happens now?"

"Now we return to Fowl Manor, and we get ready."

-Ω-

"What took you so long?" Holly snapped as she shimmered back into visibility. She was perched on top of the bookcases in Artemis' study and she seemed to be sweating heavily.

Artemis glowered as he passed on the way to his desk. "Must you copy our guest? And why were you shielded?"

She scowled right back. "For your information, genius, your two _brothers_ stumbled into the guest bedroom when my back was turned. I managed to shield before they saw me properly, but the crazy one-"

"That would be Beckett," Artemis butted in dryly.

"-must've seen my shimmer, because he then told Mini-you-"

"That would be Myles…"

"-that he'd—and stop interrupting—seen a _ghost_. So what did the pair of them spend the entire _day_ doing? Hunting for ghosts, of course, or to be more accurate;_ me._"

I shrugged. "Why didn't you just lock yourself in somewhere?"

"I _tried_, but they must've guessed _something_ was up, because five minutes after trying the door, they crawled in through the _window_, and did you know a four-year -old was capable of setting up motion sensors, because I sure as Frond didn't! I shudder to think what those two will be in ten years."

"So why are you in here?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Because Juliet promised to keep them occupied and away from this wing of the house. I even melted the locks on the windows with my Neutrino, since they seem to have copies of the keys to every door and window in the house."

Artemis glanced idly behind him at the destroyed locks and back.

"Sorry about the windows, Butler," Holly conceded.

"Don't worry about it."

"All seems a bit much, if you ask me. Would it be _that_ bad if they caught sight of you?" I asked.

"Myles never has his smartphone far from hand," Artemis said.

"Your point?"

Artemis sighed. "He also has his own Youtube account… put two and two together."

"Your four-year-old brother has his own Youtube account?"

He nodded. "Professor Myles and Professor Primate's Mad Mysteries. It's oddly popular."

"Well, it's all well and good now then, isn't it?" I asked Holly. "They didn't catch you, at least."

She mopped her brow and dropped nimbly to the floor. "No, but shielding for hours on end has left me-"

"Don't tell me…" Artemis interrupted with a groan, rubbing his brow.

"-running pretty much empty. My shield was about to fail when you walked in the door."

Artemis sighed. "Is there a time when you _aren't_ running empty?"

"Hey! I'll have you know I was in the 98th percentile for magical stamina at the Academy. There aren't many fairies that can perform a healing and then still have enough left over to shield themselves for _an entire day_."

"Bragging aside, will this hinder the plan?" I asked.

Artemis went silent for a second. "The gala evening isn't for another four days and there's a full moon around that time, so Holly should be able to restore her powers before we begin."

"I would've brought a sealed acorn with me, but I really didn't think the situation called for it, "Holly said, slumping down into one of the chairs by the desk. "So when's the first night of the full moon?"

"Three days' time, "I said reflexively and Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Sort of sensitive to that sort of thing."

"Indeed. To business…" he said, opening his laptop. "Ah, and here we are."

"What is it?" Holly asked, walking around to his side to get a better look.

"The link I set up is working; we now have access to the arena's security network."

"That was quick…" I said, walking to the boy's other side to get a look.

"You can thank Foaly for that; the loaded fiber optic ties are another of his innovations, "he said, and within a few seconds had brought up a dozen windows displaying different diagrams and security layouts for the arena. "This may take some time. Holly…"

The elf sighed and walked to my side, taking my arm. "Yeah I got it. Come on, Armani, let's leave the genius to do his thing."

I let her lead me out. "W-what, so we just wait now?"

Holly closed the door behind us and heaved another sigh. "It's the way he works; he'll tell us our parts in his little game and we'll just act them out."

"And we're supposed to just do whatever he says?"

Her eyes fell. "I trust him. Artemis has been known to do the wrong thing for the right reason, but I don't think that's how he wants to be. That's why I hope he's doing this: just because he wants to do the right thing for once."

I exhaled a breath. "I suppose I'll just have to put my fate in his hands."

"For what it's worth, there are much worse hands to be in. If Artemis Fowl says he can do something, the chances are it's not an idle boast."

Trust the boy…That's what my instinct had told me. My mind immediately drifted to those I had left behind and what my mother would be going through.

I knew I had to get back as quickly as possible.

"I suppose he hasn't given me reason to doubt him yet."

_I suppose that'll have to do._

Holly nudged me with her elbow. "Buck up, god boy, this is hardly the toughest thing we've ever had to deal with."

"Sure, steal a Crown Jewel… walk in the park, is it?"

She grinned impishly. "Well, I try not to make a habit out of grand larceny, for obvious reasons."

"Do your people know you're helping in this?"

She shrugged. "Until Trouble says otherwise, I've got to stay and guard you, and doing as Artemis says is the best way to do that without any catastrophes occurring. Despite his methods, Artemis usually ensures everything will turn out well in the end."

"You really do have a lot of faith in him."

An unreadable expression washed over her features. "He's earned it. I mean, he's made his mistakes… but I'd like to think…" she trailed off.

"Is that why you're doing this?" I asked.

She blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You want to see if Artemis can return the stone, don't you?"

She didn't answer for a moment. "He's… betrayed my trust in the past. I suppose I really just want to see if he _has_ changed."

I went silent for a moment too as we settled into the lounge. After I made sure that Artemis' younger brothers had settled for their nap, Holly finally relaxed and pored herself a glass of spring water from the drinks globe in the corner.

I broke my silence as I chose to ask one question that had been weighing on me for some time now. "If I might ask…"

"Hmm?" Holly asked as she sipped her drink.

"Is Artemis Fowl your _certain someone_?"

Her reaction to this was, oddly enough, to inhale her mouthful of water and begin spluttering uncontrollably. "_What_ did you say?" she coughed, wiping some tears from her eyes.

I frowned. "I can sense physical attraction easily enough: slight pupil dilation, the person tends to release increased levels of pheromones –which tend to smell like watermelon, in case you were curious—and so forth. But I still can't get a handle on the emotions… especially my own."

Holly took a few calming breaths and sat down. "I do not even want to _touch_ that." She paused to shake her head. "I'm an _elf, _for crying out loud!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You're talking to a half-breed about the ethics of interspecies relationships?"

She clenched her fist. "That's not what I meant. And I'm over _eighty, _Armani."

I shrugged. "Tell that to the Olympians. Compared to the age difference with them and their human _partners,_ a few decades are a handful of heartbeats."

"Look, I refuse to discuss this subject any further, _understood__?_"

I nodded silently, and then spoke. "So the answer to my question is… _no_?" I asked.

She didn't respond.

-Ω-

Artemis remained scarce for the next few days. He'd emerge from the silence of his study on occasion to eat or make a request of Butler to fetch whatever supplies he needed. I thought it best to give him his space, so both Holly and I spent most of our time in the dojo with Juliet. Fortunately, Angeline had volunteered to keep Myles and Beckett occupied as much as possible; that way Holly didn't have to worry about fairy society being exposed by a pair of toddlers.

"What about Hercules?" Juliet asked as she practiced on her punching bag. She had gotten into a habit of asking me random questions about Greek "myths".

"What about him?" I muttered as I continued my exercises.

"What was he like?"

I paused to shrug. "I wouldn't know; he was well before my time. I know people who knew him, though."

"And?"

I paused. "That depends…"

She stopped her punching, giving Holly, who had been bracing the bag from behind, a chance to rest her hands. "On what?"

"Was he a hero of yours?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"In that case…he was a selfless, gallant hero who always saved the day and was as noble as he was humble."

"Okay…" Juliet began. "Now say that without the obvious sarcasm."

"_Yeah…_still not good at covering that up."

"So what was he really like?"

"To be perfectly honest, he was self-serving egotist who took all the credit for everything he was involved in and enjoyed using people to achieve his own ends," I responded blandly.

"Oh…" Juliet said, looking a bit deflated.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just… I really liked that cartoon when I was a kid. Does Hades really have blue hair?"

I heaved a sigh. "Let's just say that cartoon was ripe with historical inaccuracies. From what I've heard, old Walt is spending his days in the Fields of Punishment for that one."

Juliet cocked an eyebrow. "But wouldn't he have been dead for like _decades_ before that was even written?"

I shrugged. "Hades isn't what one would call the overly rational sort."

"And Hercules wasn't really much of a hero…"

"Well…to be fair, there _were_ some positive outcomes. There was the fact that his deeds would inspire heroism from half-bloods for centuries to come…and his narcissism did indirectly inspire a certain girl to become one of the greatest Hunters in all of history."

Juliet opened her mouth to question when a familiar voice brought the conversation to a dead halt. "Armani," Artemis began. I swung about to find the boy standing in the doorway. "If you would come with me, it is time we began."

Holly slid out from behind the bag. "Briefing time, is it?"

He mutely inclined his head, turned, and left.

I glanced at the others. "Shouldn't you all be coming along? I mean it is more than just _me_ going, you know."

Holly sighed. "It's just his way. He prefers to tell everyone only _their_ part in the proceedings; he feels there's less a chance of things being messed up that way."

"What, does he think we're all too stupid to grasp the enormity of his plan as a whole?"

Holly exhaled a tired breath. "Let's just say you don't have to be mythical to be a tad narcissistic. You'd best go; Artemis doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Yup, makes him really crabby and he's bad enough at the best of times," Juliet said, and so I turned and followed the boy back to his study.

-Ω-

The first thing Artemis did upon settling down was to grill me on any and all abilities that I may have to hand that he was not already aware of. I advised him as best I could of what tricks I had up my sleeves whilst he sat there, deep in thought.

After a moment of silence, he spoke. "Taking what you've told me into account, I do not see why I should alter the plan any further. One moment please…" He rose from the desk and left the room.

He returned a moment later with Captain Short in tow. The elf sat in the chair beside me as Artemis settled behind his desk again. "I've brought you both here because, after discussing with Armani his full abilities, that it would be best if your part of the plan is accomplished together as a single unit."

"The two of us?" Holly asked.

He nodded in response. "Correct; your shielding abilities and your proficiency with a pair of mechanical wings, combined with Armani's own agility and maneuverability, will make you both quite well suited for what I have in mind."

"So what's the plan?" I asked.

He pulled a remote from his drawer and pressed a control. A screen slid down into place behind him against the windows. A projector hummed to life and displayed a large image of a building like a 3D blueprint.

"This is the secure sector of the arena, where they store all the valuable exhibits prior to putting them on display. It is basically a maze of corridors, storerooms and a few security offices. There is also _this_." He clicked the remote and the image spun around and zoomed in on an isolated hexagonal room with a single corridor leading off it into the main building. "…the vault."

"There's always a vault," Holly groaned.

A smile twitched on Artemis' lips. "_Quite_, but have faith, Holly. This time around there will be no need to sever any fingers or the like for this to be accomplished successfully."

"Sever any _what_ now?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Artemis raised a hand. "Another story for another time. No, this time all you need to do is walk straight in when they open the door."

I blinked. "And just how do you suppose we accomplish that?"

He inclined his head, obviously expecting the question. "The Star itself will be delivered separately from the other gems. The respective embassies of the countries who own other stones that aren't already stored in the arena have made their own security arrangements for delivery. The stone itself will be moved via armored truck from a depot at the Tower of London. From there it will be escorted via armed guard from the arena supply area to the vault."

"Question?" I asked, raising my hand and Artemis nodded for me to proceed. "Would it not be simpler just to take the stone mid-transit?"

He shook his head. "I considered that, but according to the arrangements, even if we manage to burn our way inside an armored truck like this one, the diamond itself is inside a container being carried by a group of MI-6 agents who are organizing the transfer. It would be far too risky to try taking the stone at that point."

"So we wait for it to be delivered?" Holly asked.

Artemis nodded and manipulated the controls to show a truck approach the rear of the building, a glowing dot inside of it. "From arrival, the stone will be moved from the truck under armed guard directly to the vault." The image changed so the dot was passed from the truck, through the diagram and to the vault. He clicked a button and the image reversed until the dot was hovering between the van and the building. "This is where you come in…"

-Ω-

Armani was out of 'casual' clothes and back into his more traditional attire. (To be fair, it was the only set he had with him, so he _was_ grateful to Mrs. Fowl for having _something_ else to wear up until that point.)

Artemis strolled into the guestroom as Armani finished getting ready. "All prepared?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Did Butler come through?" the half-blood asked.

He patted his pocket. "As always."

"And Holly?"

Artemis glanced out the window. "Performing the Ritual. She'll meet us in the Bentley en route."

Armani nodded, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side. "What's wrong?"

"Trying to relax. I'd be tense about doing this on any night of the month, but tonight's a full moon, and if I don't relax, well… this'll happen." He went still for a moment, and a second later his skin suddenly became luminescent with a gentle white glow, casting shadows in the room's dim light.

"That really is an interesting reaction…"

Armani shouldered his bag as the glow disappeared once more. "Well, you know the old saying about being wary of Greeks bearing gifts…"

"What about it?"

"Well, be exceptionally wary… if that Greek_ happens _to be your mother." At that he straightened and strolled out the door with Artemis following close behind.

-Ω-

Butler was waiting in the foyer as the two teenagers entered.

"Time to go?"

Artemis nodded and Butler turned to go and fetch the car.

Artemis and Armani walked out to the doorway as the sound of the vehicle's engine filled the evening air.

"And where are you two off to, then?" came a soft voice from behind.

Both flinched; even the demigod seemed to have missed Angeline Fowl's approach in his agitated state. "Moth- _Mum_. Sorry I forgot to say; I noticed there was an exhibit on Greek artwork in Dublin advertised in the paper today. Armani expressed an interest, so I thought I would take him. Butler will be escorting us, so there is no need to worry, we should be back later on in the evening."

Her eyebrows rose slightly. "Are you sure that's all? And where's Holly? I haven't seen her around today."

Armani butted in at this point. "It's okay, Mrs. Fowl. The magical elf's away to restore her powers and we're just off to steal the crown jewels."

Angeline blinked, and then laughed gaily. "Alright boys, well, you have fun."

Armani smiled as both he and Artemis turned and left in the car with Butler.

Several hours later, as she was sipping her evening cup of Earl Grey, it would occur to Angeline Fowl that Armani Dove might not have been joking.

-Ω-

"Did I mention that I hate the weather here?" I grumbled as the rain pelted down from above, the cold wind wailing loudly.

"How do you think I feel? I'm an elf! We hate the cold on principal," Holly said irritably. We were hovering in the night air over a loading area at the side of the arena. The whole place was walled off, with only one armored gate leading in or out of the small courtyard. The spotlights illuminating the area highlighted the cloudburst that was currently in progress.

I felt a cramp coming on but did my best not to shuffle. I was currently clipped on to Captain Short's Moonbelt, a device which reduced the mass of whatever was attached to one fifth of normal. I did point out that the gravity on the moon is actually one _tenth_ of Earth's, but I guess _Half-moon__belt_ just didn't have the same ring to it. The elf was shielded, and I had a sheet of cam-foil wrapped around me, which was (hopefully) rendering me totally invisible.

Holly adjusted her mechanical wings (which I personally thought were pretty cool, although she wouldn't let me have a go, no matter how nicely I asked) and we leveled off as wind buffeted us.

The space below was a wash of activity. A large black truck was backed right up to the supply entrance. There were several police motorcycles, and the armed officers in their luminous clothing stood ready on either side. Two black vans had pulled up, too, and police in full riot gear had emerged, each armed with automatic weaponry.

"Isn't this a bit much?" I whispered.

Artemis' voice sounded through my earpiece. "The country is still at an elevated terror alert level. This is standard practice for protecting valuable cultural artifacts under such conditions."

I nodded; it would be the same for the America back in my world. It's a shame that it's often the worst things in life that are paralleled wherever you go, even in another universe.

"Ready?" Holly whispered as four black suited figures emerged from the back of the truck. One had, in almost clichéd style, a steel briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. This one took the lead as the others flanked him. Four of the heavily-armed officers detached themselves from the rest and took up positions; two up front and two at the rear, around the other five black suited men.

A person waiting by the door detached the case from the man's arm and slid it into a waiting steel trolley of which the formerly handcuffed man now took ownership.

"I don't suppose being bulletproof is among your fairy abilities…" I whispered, glancing at the figures around us.

"Unfortunately not. Now be quiet, this is going to take some precision flying."

I bunched myself up as small as possible as Holly angled her wings and swooped down, her Double-dex wings, as she had called them, making less noise than a hummingbird as we began flying slowly behind the group. They entered the building and into a long white corridor with us slipping in just behind them as the double doors slammed shut and locked behind us.

"Remember, Holly," Artemis said, "Stay behind, and if one of them glances back, freeze; the shimmer suit and the upgraded cam-foil should keep you both totally invisible so long as you're hovering still."

Holly didn't respond. The only sounds audible were the footfalls of the seven other people and the subtle squeaking of the trolley's wheels, and we both wanted to keep it that way.

The fact they walked in dead silence meant we had to fly whilst practically holding our breath, I'd exhaled just a little loudly and it caused one of them to pause and glance over their shoulder. I guess you don't get to work for military intelligence if you have dulled senses.

Holly gripped me tighter as we approached the vault; a large circular door embedded in the wall. One of the lead agents punched a code into the wall, placed his hand on a scanner, and swiped a card through a reader. The sound of shunting bolts sliding back into the concrete filled the air and three feet of reinforced steel door opened.

Holly skimmed over the heads of the people below and broke free into the secure room. The walls were lined with steel lockers.

They immediately proceeded to slide free the case from the trolley. They opened it up, revealing the diamond resting within. The lead man gingerly lifted it out and set it into the podium in the middle of the room. They then immediately retreated from the room, sealing the door shut behind us.

"Can we talk now?" I whispered.

I was answered by Artemis. "It's alright; I've shut off the sound sensor and fed a loop into the camera system. You can return to the visible spectrum."

Holly breathed a sigh. The contact lens in my eye adjusted, as it no longer needed to compensate for her shielding.

I swung off the cam-foil sheet and wiped a layer of sweat from my brow.

"Careful!" Artemis barked down the earpiece, causing us both to freeze rigid.

"What?" I hissed.

"Are you forgettingthe rest of the security? Here; take a look."

I hissed as pain jolted through my eye and the view of the room changed until it was dark and shaded. It was also latticed with a matrix of red laser beams.

I swallowed a gulp, "how traditional…"

"Isn't it just," Artemis said dryly. "The reason I said be careful was that the distortion created by the foil may blur one of the beams and set off the alarms. We don't want that. You realize that, don't you?"

I rolled my eyes and was glad as Holly set me back on solid ground, her wings retracting into their harness behind her.

Artemis' voice spoke up again. "Remember; there's a safe zone from the lasers with a circumference of one meter around the doorway. You should be safe as long as you stay in there. Unfortunately, the beams are hardwired into an external system; there's no way for me to shut them down remotely. That and the pressure sensor around the diamond are all you need to worry about."

"Thank you, genius. I _was_ at the briefing." I grumbled, eying the room.

Holly eyed the beams warily. "Right. It's all up to you now," she said, and backed herself up against the door to give me room.

I paused.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked.

I nodded ahead. "Waiting for the next window; I'd rather be safe than sorry."Just as I was talking, it happened as expected; the lattice of beams shifted until they were pointing in different directions. According to Artemis, they would do this once every forty-five seconds.

_Go now!_

I took a calming breath as my eyes swept the field of beams ahead of me, burning the image into my mind like a threat assessment.

_Don't think, just do._

I forced all distracting thoughts aside and dove forwards, clean between a pair of horizontal beams.

_Thirty-five seconds._

I parried myself off one hand over another laser. I twirled quickly round a trio pointing downwards in my path.

_Thirty seconds._

I didn't pause as I dropped and edged under a low beam, turned about and slid between the two crisscrossing behind it.

_Twenty-_

_Will you stop doing that?_

_Sorry… _

I shook my head and sprung to my feet, swung about and into a double backflip that carried me over the remaining obstacles, landing with my arms up in the air.

I cocked my head. "Perfect dismount," I said as I examined the cylindrical podium. The diamond was resting in its cradle.

"Hurry," Artemis' voice urged.

I nodded, slid my hand into my pocket and withdrew a bundle wrapped in a dark velvet handkerchief.

I unwrapped it quickly and dropped the replica of the Star into my palm. I had to admit; as my eyes glanced between the two stones for a second, I realized even I couldn't tell the difference between them. Butler must know some very reliable sources in order to get something this convincing in such a short period of time.

"Remember; as you slide one off, slide the other on," Artemis said hurriedly, as if I hadn't practiced this for hours under his watchful eye, being clipped on the back of the leg by Juliet with her kendo sword every time I got it wrong.

Personally, I think she enjoyed her teaching duties a little too much.

I held my breath as I carefully peeled the stone upwards from one side, placing the replica down in its place. I pulled the stone away and froze, half expecting the alarms to blare around me.

Silence prevailed.

_Five seconds!_

I tensed up and jumped back into the field of beams. I had already been through once, so all I had to do was rely on muscle memory and reversing my movements.

Four seconds later, I landed flat against the vault door, the Star of Africa safely in my pocket.

Holly blinked. "That was…impressive"

I nodded, catching my breath. "Thank you, Captain." I watched as the beams adjusted themselves again. "Right, Holly, you're up."

Holly paused, waiting for the signal from our man on the outside, who was watching the real feed from the cameras. "Now!" Artemis voice sounded.

The elf nodded as I slid back under the cam foil. She aimed the device on her helmet (something called an omnisensor ) at a point on the wall. She shielded herself as, seemingly of their own accord, the bolts in the door slid back into the wall and the door opened.

Both of us froze.

Before us, standing under what could only have been a blind spot in the camera's view, was a single armed officer, and you can imagine his shock when a high security vault just went and opened by itself.

The man had his weapon raised and aimed inwards at the vault, blocking our path.

As if sensing the question I was gagging to ask, Artemis spoke. "He shouldn't be there! Unless they've altered the security arrangements at the last minute…"

I didn't care about his ponderings or his reasons. The only thing that mattered was the fact that I had the Star of Africa in my pocket and there was an armed man blocking our path who could very well be about to raise the alarm; something Artemis said would result in an instant lockdown of the whole place, reinforced steel doors, armed guards and all. If that were to happen, we'd have no choice but to blast our way out, leading to a very messy cleanup job for the fairy people and a whole boatload of trouble for Captain Short.

He looked straight through us at the vault, his hand drifting from his weapon to his radio.

I couldn't stop myself. I used that split-second opening and tossed the foil aside. The man gasped as my hand shot up towards his face.

I snapped my fingers.

"Nothing. There's _nothing_ out of the ordinary here," I said sternly, teeth clenched.

There was a terrified second where I didn't know if his clueless stare was just shock, or if what I had done had actually worked.

He blinked, shook his head as if bewildered as to what he was doing, and returned to his former vigil.

"Close that door!" I hissed.

Holly, wide-eyed, nodded slowly and did as I requested.

I heaved a sigh of relief as the door closed behind us.

Holly edged to my side, her hand clamped on the grip of her neutrino blaster. "What did you do to him?" she whispered in my ear.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure if it would _do _anything."

"Was it some kind of Mesmer?"

I shook my head. "Not exactly…"

"And why didn't you tell me you had this ability before?" Artemis demanded suddenly through the earpiece, although there was a note of relief in his tone.

"The natural forces may still go on without the god's influence, but I wasn't sure if the Mist could still be summoned."

"Mist?" Holly echoed.

I nodded. "It clouds mortals' perception of things they shouldn't see. Half-bloods have the power to use it to alter the way people see and hear things. It was a double-risk, to be honest. Not only did I not know if the Mist was around, I'm also not the most adept at using it."

Holly edged around the man. "Yes, that's very interesting, now can we please continue the plan?"

I smiled. "No need. Come along, Captain, time's a-wasting," I said, turned about, and strolled off down the corridor.

Holly, still shielded, shot after me, grabbed my hand and dragged me to a halt. "What are you _doing_?"

Artemis' voice spoke up. "Yes, I'd like to know that myself."

"Sorry, Artemis, new plan." At that, I slipped free of Holly and turned into the next corridor, where two armed officers were patrolling the length. I walked right by them, weaving the Mist around myself as I walked. "Evening, gentlemen," I said as I passed.

The men grunted an affirmative, but otherwise ignored me.

"How…What-" Artemis, quite amusingly, seemed at a loss for words.

I inclined my head as I spoke. "Well, Artemis, your plan was all well and good, very ingenious with all the slipping through air vents, hacking the exit doors, triggering fire alerts in the main arena to get the guards out of the main depot and all that. But I'm afraid it's all a little convoluted for my taste, so I have a much better idea…"

"And that is?" he enquired tersely.

I grinned. "I'm going to walk right out the door. Isn't that how all the good heists end?"

He merely grumbled in response as Holly caught up, glancing at the oblivious guards.

_Just don't lose too much focus._

"Are you sure they're completely blind to us?" she whispered.

I sighed and stopped right in front of one of the guards, a tall man with a bushy moustache who was staring dead ahead at attention. I pulled the diamond out of my pocket and held it right in front of his face "Hey, big guy," I said cheerfully. "You don't mind of we take the Star for a walk, do you?"

No response.

I turned to Holly and nodded. "I'm pretty sure we're safe." At that we continued on the way we came.

Artemis sighed, "Just strolling out… seems to take all the fun out of the game; it's almost like cheating."

"Artemis, you have no right to complain about breaking rules," said Holly. "And as for you," she continued, shoving me forward, "let's move it!"

_I've changed my mind .Don't listen to the boy, listen to the elf instead._

"Yeah, that's enough gloating for one day," I said and broke into a run, pacing to allow Holly to keep up.

Since Artemis had remotely unlocked the back doors, we simply crashed through them into the depot, Holly leaping into the air and activating her wings in the same movement. Without looking back, she flung her arm back and lassoed my wrist with the cord attached to her Moonbelt, dragging me clean off the ground and up into the night sky.

_Well, that went well…_

-Ω-

It wasn't a long flight back to the helipad, but I was soaked through by the time we got there. If I were a Poseidon kid I'd probably be dandy right now, but as it stood I was simply drenched and shivering.

Juliet sat down beside me and wrapped me up in a towel. She also saw fit to assist in drying my hair with said towel… the end result was not pretty.

"The diamond?" Artemis asked from his position in one of the rear passenger seats.

I paused in my task of untangling my matted bangs to reach into my pocket and toss the stone through the air.

Artemis caught the insanely expensive rock in both hands. The dim light in the compartment reflected a mass of rainbow light from it over his pale features as he regarded it, almost entranced. He collected himself so quickly, though, that it made me question if I had seen that glint in his eye at all. He then walked over and put the stone in what was probably the safest place within a mile radius: Butler's jacket pocket. "Look after that, and get us prepped for takeoff."

Butler nodded, turned, and settled down in the pilot's seat.

Artemis sat down and folded his hands on his lap, regarding me. "An excellent outcome, cleanly handled and with little complication considering the target. I am impressed."

I wasn't sure how to take being complimented on grand theft gemstone, so I simply replied with, "thanks for the observation. So what's next on the agenda?"

He regarded the dark skies outside. "Now, to Tara."

Holly blinked. "Tara? Why would…Oh, you can't mean we're going to be doing this _tonight__?_"

Artemis shrugged. "That was the plan all along. The moon is full and Tara is one of the most magical hotspots on the planet. Besides; I see no reason to procrastinate."

Holly groaned. "So you were always planning to do the entire thing tonight? Why didn't you tell –oh, never mind. I'm sure the answer is just another _you didn't need to know._"

Artemis just smiled. "To be honest, I just wanted to surprise you."

Holly narrowed her eyes. "I rarely like your surprises; I thought you would've figured that out by now, Artemis."

"So you're planning on taking me back _tonight_?" I asked, shocked at how efficiently he was working this whole thing through.

He nodded. "Once there we can begin the next phase of the plan. Butler, it's time to go…"

-Ω-

It rained as heavily in Ireland as it did in London.

"That's it," Artemis said, nodding ahead.

I looked out the window and saw a huge oak tree looming in the darkness, a clear stream winding around it.

"You're forgetting one thing, Artemis," Holly said.

"I sincerely doubt it, but please, go ahead."

The elf rolled her eyes. "We still need № 1 to perform the spells, or do you intend us to wait out here in the rain with the tourists?"

He extended his hand to the tree. "Why don't you have a look for yourself?"

Holly crossed over and looked out the window, frowning as she realized she didn't have her helmet, which she then slid over her head. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me…"

I looked out the window. With the shield filter in the contact lens I was wearing, I could see what was below, and it certainly wasn't tourists.

There was a large silver craft below the tree and a sizable force of LEP officers had set up a cordon around it. As the helicopter descended, they all turned their weapons in our direction.

"They…know we're coming, right, Artemis?" I asked.

He inclined his head. "Obviously."

Holly slid her helmet free. "Alright, Arty, since you're obviously gagging to tell me."

He shrugged. "It was nothing. I merely contacted № 1 last night and let him know of my plan. As I predicted, he was more than willing to help out. Of course I knew it would take some time for him to… _convince_ the people at the research institute to allow him to come to the surface, so I gave him a solid twenty-four hours with which to do so, since I knew they would be even more hesitant to let him out what with the recent kidnapping attempt and Opal being on the loose."

"Is he dangerous?" I asked.

Artemis smirked. "He's the sort who'd never willingly harm a fly, but he's also the sort you'd never want to upset _accidentally_. He's not entirely in control of his power yet, which is why the magical research people can't risk him throwing a full-blown temper tantrum in the middle of Haven."

I nodded in thought. "Let's just hope he's got his power in control tonight."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry; he's become quite adept at shifting people through time."

"Let's hope so…"

-Ω-

I noticed a large number of the LEP officers kept their weapons trained on Artemis as we emerged from the helicopter; most of the remainder had their weapons squarely aimed at me. Then Butler emerged, and they really seemed torn as to where to point their guns.

Artemis smiled a little too widely at the congregation. "Oh, come, aren't we all friends now?"

There was a series of angry muttering from amongst the officers when Commander Kelp shoved his way through their lines. "Alright, Fowl, we're here. Now if you'd kindly get this over and done with. You're not only endangering the most powerful warlock in fairy history by requesting him out in the open like this, you're also causing chaos to our travel and tourist industry. Shutting down Tara on a full moon is not something we take lightly."

Artemis smiled. "My humble apologies. Is he here?"

Trouble grunted and nodded his head at the ship. I followed as Artemis strolled calmly past the police officers and into an open hatch in the shuttle.

-Ω-

We entered and found, instead of a strange creature, a small blonde boy spinning round and round in one of the chairs by the monitors.

I blinked and leaned in toward Artemis. "Umm, Artemis, should he be here?" I whispered.

Artemis smiled. "Armani Dove, meet the demon warlock, № 1."

I stared at the boy, who, upon hearing the name, glanced over at us, still spinning on his seat. "_Oh! _Artemis! Wait there, I'll be right with you."

He sighed. "№ 1… what are you doing?"

He spun faster, huffing out an explanation in the brief moments his face was towards us. "Qwan said…that physics are an important part…of magic. I'm doing an experiment…on something called…centrifugal force. Did you know…that no matter how fast I spin…I won't _yaagh_!" At that second he was spun clear out of his seat and sent flying into a pile of computer equipment.

Silence fell as the boy/imp crawled free of the smashed equipment. He looked up at Artemis with a glum expression. "The laws of physics lied to me…"

_I'm doomed._

Holly shook her head and helped him to his feet. "You okay?"

He nodded glumly. "Perhaps Qwan was right; theory is sometimes better than practical…but it's so _boring_, all that paper and all those numbers!"

"_You're _the warlock?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

He beamed at me. "That's right. I'm № 1; it's very nice to meet you," he said, extending a hand.

I blinked. "It's, ahh, very nice to meet you too," I said, extending a hand which he shook a little too vigorously.

He continued shaking. "Handshake. I way of conveying salutations, compellation-"

Holly cut him off. "№ 1…"

He blinked. "Oh, hello, Holly, you look nice. Your hair's a little wet, would you like a towel?"

She shook her head. "That's quite alright, has Artemis told you what we need to do?"

He nodded. "two space-time displacement spells, one delayed and stored, right?"

Holly nodded. "That's right; we need to get our friend here-"

He butted in. "Armani, Armani Dove, Demigod, offspring of a Goddess and a mortal, Child of the Moon Goddess, Artemis." He turned to Artemis. "_Hey_, you're called Artemis too!" He then turned back to me. "Did you know we Demons originally came from the moon?"

"Sorry, "Holly muttered."He just gets excited when he meets new people."

"And I thought demigod ADHD was bad…"

№1 blinked. "What?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing. So, can you help me get home?"

His smile widened. "I sure can. Do you have the Source?"

Artemis reached into his pocket and handed the diamond to the warlock. "I assume this will suffice."

He rolled the stone over in his hands. "Pretty… "he breathed, and I watched how, as he rolled it, red sparks were trailing off the palms of his hand and around the diamond."Yes, this will work nicely. Let's go outside, it's raining, I'm afraid… I don't like the rain, its cold and it's wet…" he trailed off, walking out of the hatch with the diamond in his hand.

I halted Artemis. "Umm, Artemis, are you _sure_ this kid can pull something like this off? I don't mean anything by it. It's just he seems, well, a bit…"

Artemis smiled. "Don't let his appearance fool you. If he says he can do it, then I'm confident in his abilities. Don't lose faith now, friend, we're almost there." He patted me once on the shoulder and followed the warlock outside.

Artemis' confidence was reassuring, but I still felt myself hesitating by the door. "Do or die time…"

I flinched as I felt Holly's small hand grip my arm. She smiled warmly. "Come on, god boy, time to go home…"

-Ω-

№ 1 was standing by himself in the centre of a circle of strange runes that had been written in large black ink in the grass. He was looking up at the moon with the diamond held between his thumb and forefinger, the white light creating patterns over his childlike features.

After a moment he began muttering something under his breath, and the runes in the grass began to glow a bright crimson.

I felt my heart speed up in my chest as the moon began glowing with unnatural brightness. Its light caused the diamond itself to glow, as if it had captured the moonlight within its reflective surface and left it looking like a teardrop-shaped star held in the extended hands of the boy.

The boy himself began to change. Cracks began to spread out over his skin with red light shining from within. Then, with a flash of blinding crimson light, his body shattered into pieces, leaving in its place what looked like a strange grey sheep-like creature standing up on its hind legs. It still held the glowing diamond up in his now paw-like hands.

I wasn't shocked by his appearance; if anything it was identical to how Artemis had described the warlock originally.

The warlock's eyes were glowing red and he opened his hands, the stone hovering in place in the air. He took a few paces back, his palms aimed flat at the stone. The runes began to pulse and the light began to snake its way upwards around the warlock's body, across his hands and began pouring into the stone. The light got so intense everyone was forced to look away as a vortex of moving red light illuminated the dark sky. There was a blinding flash, and then everything went silent…

We dared to look back again. The area was back in darkness, dark with the exception of a rhythmic red glow coming from the gem now held in the hands of the warlock.

"One time-delayed spell," he said with satisfaction as we approached. The light died down and revealed the change in the diamond, which now looked like a huge blood-red ruby.

"Is this it?" I asked, gingerly taking the stone from the warlock's hands. It felt warm and had a strange feeling to it, as if there were a subtle electrical current flowing through it.

"It sure is. I've set it to go off as soon as the first spell is finished. From there it'll act as the anchor holding you in the other universe before returning. When the second spell finishes, you'll have forty-eight hours before the power I'll plant in Holly runs out. Just make sure you're together when that happens, else she'll be coming back alone."

"Then wouldn't it be safer for me to accompany him alone?" Holly asked.

Artemis butted in at that point. "It'll be easier on the return trip to have more than one person from this world; more minds to focus on where we need to go."

"Is that right, № 1?" Holly asked.

"_Well_…" I watched as Artemis inclined his head at him out the corner of my eye. "…yeah, should help loads, all the better, more the merrier, strength in numbers-"

Holly raised a hand. "_Right_, I got it. So who's coming with us?"

№ 1 butted in at this point. "Just not too many, okay? The more people and mass there is, the more that can go wrong in the tunnel."

Artemis spoke now. "I will accompany you also. Butler, I think, due to the issue of size, it best you relegate your position on this expedition to Juliet. Is that okay?"

He didn't look happy with the concept, but nodded. "Of course, Artemis, I trust you."

Artemis nodded gravely as Juliet went to his side. "Don't worry, bro, I'll keep an eye on Artemis for you."

"And I'll keep an eye on them both," Holly said with a smile.

Butler smiled. "I don't doubt it, Holly."

"So what do we do now?" Juliet asked, almost bouncing with excitement at the news that she was coming too.

The warlock beckoned to the circle. "Just step inside, folks, and I'll do the rest."

We all stepped inside the runes; the air was still warm around them from the earlier spell. I noticed Holly was glancing nervously around her and also at the assembled LEP officers. "Umm… Listen, this time round, we won't have to… you know…"

The warlock's face went blank, and then happy comprehension flashed over his features. "_Oh_! You mean take your clothes off?"

"Take my _WHAT _off?" Juliet gaped, covering herself reflexively.

The imp grinned. "I wouldn't worry. I'm much better at it than I used to be, so you and Artemis don't need to do this with your clothes off this time."

There were subtle gasps and less subtle snickers from the LEP around them and Holly blushed profusely. Juliet's eyes turned accusingly to Artemis, who flinched and took a step back. "What? I assure you I was very gentlemanly about the entire issue."

Juliet frowned at him. "I should think so."

"Can we just get on with this?" Holly shouted.

The warlock winced. "S-sorry, okay. One time spell, coming right up."

I leaned back toward Artemis. "What's wrong with Captain Short?" I whispered.

He shrugged. "I'm afraid I really have no idea, though I suspect it involves one mystery of the universe that has always confounded me…"

"And that is?"

"Women."

I sighed. "Welcome to my world…"

He smiled slightly. "Not yet, but soon."

The warlock spoke up as the runes began glowing again. "Remember, Armani, when you get passed through the tunnel, just focus entirely on where you want to go. Think of home and nothing else, but you need to think of a time that doesn't involve you at all, a time before you even existed. Keep those thoughts in your head and nothing else."

Artemis cut in. "Listen to him. Keep your thoughts entirely under control. In a tunnel, you are in a state of infinite improbability; even the slightest lapse in concentration can cause the strangest things to manifest. It could be something small, like a couple of fingers switching places…" he paused to glance at Holly, "…or even an eye. Or it could be something much worse. So keep your thoughts focused on the job at hand."

I swallowed a gulp and nodded. "Understood."

_Relax…_

"Alright, chaps, here we go!" N®1 called, and my field of vision filled with red light. The warlock clapped his hands together and suddenly we were engulfed in energy, and then we were gone…

_-_Ω-

It's hard to describe being transferred down a mystical interdimensional tunnel as a mass of pure energy and consciousness.

I found myself contemplating it, metaphorically humming.

_Focus!_

Oddly, the 'thought' was actually Artemis' voice resounding through my consciousness.

_This is freaky…_

_Juliet, please think more quietly, Armani's trying to focus._

_Actually, I was thinking the same thing as Juliet._

Holly butted in. _Armani, just focus on where we need to go. I'd really rather not have to end this with us all having switched heads or something._

_You should listen to the elf._

_Who was that?_ Holly's 'voice' sounded nervously.

I would've shrugged if I had shoulders_. That's just the annoying voice in my head._

_Stop calling me that!_

_Huh; Armani's got a split personality too, _Juliet chimed in.

I left my instinct to argue its sentience whilst I isolated myself and focused on where I needed to be.

There was only one thing I needed to use.

I listened for mother's song, differentiating the infinite number of worlds where it doesn't exist and where it does.

Once I'd narrowed it down that far, I can only describe what I did next as feeling for the reverberations I had made. I felt for the actions I had done in my past.

It was odd as I metaphorically _looked_ down upon the worlds where I could exist as a whole. I saw them as vast swirling landscapes of energy that represented the natural order of the, and within it, surging about were waves of blazing golden light dancing through the sea of energy, and I somehow knew as I looked on that these were forms of the gods I was looking down upon, simply going about their daily acts of running the forces of the world.

I felt a surge as I looked down on one in particular, indistinguishable from the rest, yet somehow I could feel a subtle pulse going through me as I watched it, and I knew without doubt that it was my mother I was looking at.

_There!_ I mentally called as I felt one timestream; one universe, one version of my mother, in sync with me. I focused, thinking at a point before those _reverberations_ existed, a time before I was born.

_That's it!_

_Hold on then… Here goes!_

_-_Ω-

We materialized, sort of, in a large open room. Light poured in through the windows that made up most of the rear wall. It was oddly reminiscent of Artemis' study, only far more modern. Books lined the walls, the light reflected brightly off the pine flooring. Judging by the view out of the windows, I had to assume we were in some kind of executive's office in a tall building somewhere.

"W-where are we?" Juliet asked.

I shook my head. "I have absolutely no idea…"

"Umm, this could be a problem…" Holly said, and I turned to her and saw she was looking at her hands, which were almost transparent, as if she were some kind of specter.

I looked down and around at the others, realizing we were all in the same way.

"No need to panic, we simply haven't finished manifesting here; we're effectively still partly in the tunnel. That also means you still need to keep your thoughts in order until we've finished materialization," Artemis said calmly. "The instant we finish appearing, the second spell will activate and we shall begin the second leg of our journey."

As I solidified, something else became apparent in the room. Two figures were becoming visible. The more we became solid, the better I could see them. One had his back to me, the other standing just within my view. Neither was moving, as if frozen in the moment with us.

A second later my heart nearly stopped as one of the men's faces became perfectly clear. "Midas?"

"Who?" Holly asked.

"Wait, as in _King_ Midas, the golden touch guy?"Juliet asked.

"Same one," I replied.

Suddenly things became entirely solid, and time began moving again. I must've picked the perfect instant as, the second things went into motion, I watched Midas' hand shoot out and plunge a familiar-looking gemstone into the other man's chest. The air was filled with an agonized scream from the other figure.

_Can't be… That would mean he's-_

"HEY!" Juliet suddenly barked. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I couldn't see the other man's face, but Midas himself flinched in surprise, his palm still buried in the other man's chest.

Juliet lurched forward to attack the Shade, but she didn't get more than a single step before there was an eruption of red light from my pocket as the second spell was initiated, and we were gone again…

-Ω-

Midas muttered a quick incantation and disappeared.

As the prone man's body slumped to the floor, a black-haired woman emerged from the shadows, regarding the spot the strangers had occupied for only a few stray seconds.

Eris stood there in silence for a moment, and suddenly began giggling. "Ooh, now _this_ changes things." She then regarded the swirling black mass of energy that had been created as the newcomers had left, "and don't you think you should be on your way too?"

There was a flash of red light as the black mass of energy disappeared into the vortex behind the rest of the travelers.

Eris couldn't contain another giggle. "Oh, this is gonna be _fun_!"

_-_Ω-

_I really thought I didn't care, but when I almost saw him, when I almost saw my father… If I had just a second more, then I-_

_FOCUS!_

_What's wrong? _Juliet 'asked' as the tunnel swept us forwards through time.

_N-nothing, it's nothing,_ I sent back as dismissively as possible.

But there was something else, too: just after leaving the first tunnel, but before fully manifesting in the past, I had felt something. As if something had probed the back of my mind and I felt a surge of my hates and fears drawn unbidden to the surface… just for a split second. It was odd; it felt as though I hadn't thought it, but more like some other force had _enticed_ me in to thinking about those things for just that second.

Considering we were all in one piece, though, I guessed that momentary lapse didn't have any real impact.

_You're still the guide, Armani. Take us where and when we need to be, _Artemis said, his voice cool and calm despite being totally disembodied.

I focused. I could feel myself submerged in my world, could feel the impacts my past self was making on it as I travelled forwards through time. I remembered that wasn't effectively _me_ anymore though, as I was some kind of _new_ space-time event. So I concentrated, focusing on where those reverberations ended; the point they went silent.

From there, all I had to do was aim to put us in sync with the time we left from in Artemis' own world: the present.

_There, I think that's it… _I said as I sort of _saw_ that point in time approaching ahead, like an off ramp I needed to be ready to turn towards.

_Excellent, now just picture the where and that should do it…_

The where…

_You know where, just look for her_.

I listened to my instinct and searched, feeling for that thrum of energy that resonated with my core, picturing the swirls of energy dancing about the plain of the order.

_THERE!_

I felt a shudder go through me as I felt my target shine out clear as day and began dragging us straight towards it.

_Here we go… Hold on to your atoms, people, this is-_

Suddenly the entire time tunnel lurched. I looked in horror as one of the swirls of energy from the world below lashed up towards us. I pictured us as entities within the tunnel with a large golden tentacle reaching up into it.

Sounds of panic came from all around as it lashed out and battered us into two different directions.

I felt Artemis, Holly and Juliet's energy sent careening down towards the world below, almost exactly where I had aimed to take us originally, and myself being hurled completely off course in a different direction.

-Ω-

The metaphorical and the literal worlds came painfully together as I rematerialized on the ground with a painful _thud._

"Ouch…" I groaned, rubbing my chest under me and rolling onto my back as a cool and terrifyingly familiar voice spoke up.

"So, you're back are you?"

I ignored my pain and leapt back onto my feet, skidding and drawing my sword in one movement.

Eris was sitting on a nearby tree stump, and was currently in the process of wrapping a bandage around her lower right arm.

She looked somewhat the worse for wear. "Before you ask, your_ mother_ did this. Right before you came back and _saved the day_, she and I had a little scrap. She got me somewhat more than I got her."

My grip tightened on my sword. "Eris, what are you doing here?" I asked through bared teeth.

"Two things: First; hiding from the family. Apparently Zeus is a little peeved at that little incident last week, and _I'm_ being blamed for it, if you can believe that. Secondly, my dearest; I've been waiting for _you_."

I frowned. "_Me_? How could you have _possibly-" _I halted mid-sentence as it hit me. "That was _you_, wasn't it? _You_ were the one who threw us off course in the tunnel!"

She shrugged. "But of course. That cute little bit of magic allows anything and everything to happen within that place, and as soon as you began to approach this reality it was child's play for me to inflict just a little hint of chaos on it. And I wouldn't worry about your little friends, I'm sure they're fine."

"What is it you want from me _now, _Eris?" I demanded.

She sighed. "Oh, you're so _guarded_! Why can't you ever relax?"

"Around _you_? Do you need to ask? Last time we met you revealed you were using me as a pawn to turn the entire universe into hell!"

She grinned. "Yeah, but you know me; I do love to fib."

I blinked. "What?"

She shrugged. "You were never in any real danger."

"_Excuse me_, but before I did what I did, the walls of reality were already open. The _danger _was real!"

"Nope, because it was obvious all along what you were going to do."

I frowned. "that's nonsense. There's no way you could _possibly_ known that for sure."

Her smile widened. "Oh, there is. There's one very simple reason why I knew."

"And that is?" I snapped.

Her eyes narrowed at me. "It had already happened."

I gaped in bewilderment. "_What_? What do you mean it _already_ _happened_? _Where?_"

She rose slowly to her feet and walked silently towards me, stopping at the edge of my guard.

She wordlessly raised a hand, extended a single manicured finger and pressed it gently against my forehead. "In here…" she whispered, her dark eyes burrowing into my own.

I felt myself pale for some reason. "_What_?" I breathed.

She didn't budge as she spoke, staring into my eyes. "Tell me, dearest Armani; do you remember the first time we encountered one another?"

I wanted to bat her hand aside but found myself rooted to the spot. "It was in that other universe, but that was your counterpart in that world, it wasn't really _you_."

She nodded. "In fact, you've never actually _met_ me, have you?"

"When you put it like that, I suppose not."

"Shall I tell you when _I_ first met _you_?"

"I don't follow."

"It was sixteen years ago."

My eyes widened at the comment. "What are you talking about?" I whispered hoarsely.

She nodded as if reminiscing. "Yes, yes, it was during that unfortunate business with Midas and your daddy. Do you remember?"

I didn't respond; I was too terrified as to where this could be going.

"No? Shame. Well, I do. And as I was watching that silly old shade do his thing, imagine my surprise when I felt someone begin to intrude upon this reality and that time period."

"You were there… When we first…"

She smiled. "That's right! Shame you weren't doing that cute little trick of hiding your thoughts that you're constantly doing. Even though you weren't even _in_ this reality yet, I was still able to read you like an open book; being in something as infinitely chaotic as that time tunnel will do that."

I gaped at her. "You read my mind." It wasn't a question.

Her smile became a smirk. "You know it was originally just going to be a bit of fun; cause a bit of an argument between Artemis and Persephone. Goddesses really do have the most entertaining scraps, you know. But _oh!_ When I saw in your mind just how _far_ I could take it: setting the gods against each other, battles with the undead, fractures in the universe… you opened up a world of fun for me, my wonderful little avatar."

She pulled back her finger and I staggered back, collapsing onto my backside. "B-but that would… that would mean…"

She slowly began pacing around me. "That's right: all this time, you thought that it was my tune we were all dancing to when, as it turned out, it was you all along, Armani Dove."

"Are you trying to say that everything that happened: the rips in the universe, me crossing dimensions, travelling through time…"

Eris nodded. "…All happened because it was supposed to happen. You were destined to open the walls of the universe, destined to cross into a world of fairies and magic, _destined_ to come back again, all just to ensure it would all happen again. Mortals call that a predestination paradox… and you were the heart of it all. Of course, by making sure everything was set in motion again by inadvertently revealing your thoughts to me sixteen years ago, you resolved the paradox and made sure everything would turn out that way once again."

I was speechless. And I wasn't sure how long I sat there absorbing that information. I swallowed a lump in my throat I wasn't aware was there. "But that makes no sense… Why would you even _bother_ orchestrating it all if it was preordained? There's no chaos there at all! Why did you do it then, huh?"

She just shrugged again. "Because it was funny."

A wash of indignation surged through me and I jumped to my feet, squaring up to the goddess. "_FUNNY?_ That's all this was to you; a _joke_?"

As if not catching my outburst (despite my being right in her face) Eris just sighed and glanced off to the side. "It's a shame the fun's almost over; this has kept me entertained for so many years."

With _extreme _restraint, I forced my temper down for now. "What about Artemis, Juliet and Holly? What did you do with them?"

She waved it off. "Oh, don't worry. Like I said, they're fine. If anything, I was helpful; I granted that young Artemis boy his wish, and sent his friends along for the ride."

"His _wish_? What are you talking about?"

She grinned. "Oh, that boy, now, _he_ holds promise. He's like a walking mound of discord himself, but I wouldn't worry about _them._ I would keep your mind in the here and now."

"_Oh_, and why is that?"

"Because you know how things like this end: the half-blood does his part and, if he survives, he gets his reward from the gods."

I scowled at her. "You have nothing that I want."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," she said, suddenly returning her eyes to me. "_However_…"

The tone she used had me reflexively raising my sword again. "However, _what_?"

"One final test… One last little bit of fun before the hero gets his reward."

I backed away and began defensively circling her. "What kind of test?"

She smiled widely. "That's just it; that's the beautiful thing. I have absolutely no idea. You see, the one who chose the form this test will take is yourself."

"I'm afraid I don't recall choosing_ anything_."

She smiled, and spoke again, only the voice that came out of her mouth wasn't her own. It was, quite disturbingly, the voice of Artemis Fowl. "_Keep your thoughts entirely under control. In a tunnel, you are in a state of infinite improbability; even the slightest lapse in concentration can cause the strangest things to manifest. It could be something small, like a couple of fingers switching places, or even an eye. Or it could be something much worse…_"

She coughed once and her voice changed back to normal. "Sound familiar?"

I glared at her. "What have you _done_?"

She shook her head. "Nothing much. In fact, I did it sixteen years ago when you first began to arrive. I merely plucked at your darker thoughts and allowed your sub-conscious to pick the perfect bit of fun to top off our little relationship. In fact, doesn't this clearing look familiar? This is actually the place where you first met your mother. Let it never be said I don't have a sense of irony. And that's the very spot you first emerged from." She waved at a spot in the trees as if it were important.

My face paled again. "What are you-"

As if on cue, a black swirling mass of light, like a comet, streaked down through the air and crashed into the undergrowth at the very spot she was indicating.

I jumped back and raised my sword in readiness. "Eris!" I shouted.

She was standing behind me and looking over my shoulder with melodramatic anticipation. "It's _your_ fears. I have no idea what's coming, but isn't this _exciting?_" She beamed, rocking on the balls of her heels with her head practically resting on my shoulder.

There was a rustling in the undergrowth as a figure erupted from the greenery and landed with its back to us.

"And your fear is…your fear _is_..." Eris said, gripping my shoulder as the form turned to face us and I was only dimly aware of Eris' face falling. "…Albinos?" She leaned into my field of vision, frowning. "That's a little _insensitive,_ if you don't mind my saying so."

I had no reply; I had no words. To be honest, I only remembered that I needed to _breathe_ when a strong pain in my chest signaled I should be doing it, as the thing across the clearing locked its red eyes with mine.

I staggered back, knocking Eris aside and readying my sword as the figure began slowly advancing on me.

_Oh no, oh gods no…_

"Now then," Jane began, in a voice sweet enough to give you diabetes. "Where _were_ we?"

-α-

_To be continued…_

-XA-

[A/N] And thus concludes the beta of this chapter, thanks to Shrrg for this one again. I'll see you a bit later in the day for Chapter 4: Grief and Consolation.


	4. Chapter 4: Grief and Consolation

[A/N] And once again, thanks to the awesomeness of Shrrgnien's beta work, I'm putting up the redone versions of the final chapters. And thanks again for all your votes on BB2, and I forgot to mention, thanks to Ocean for the Broken Bow website over at brokenbowseries(dot)webs(dot)com. The next beta'd chapter will be up in due course. In the mean time, enjoy!

**A Boy Called Artemis**

**Chapter 4: Grief and Consolation**

The sun god walked down the grassy hill in a daze.

It had been a bad week for Apollo.

Artemis' reaction to her son's loss had torn at him. For it had not been a natural loss by any standards. The sun god recalled the dead silence that had filled the air in that devastated apartment after the child of Artemis had faded. It was a silence shattered by a single heart-wrenching scream from the goddess of childbirth. Unable to contain her grief, she had then returned to her immortal form and vanished.

It had been a traumatic aftermath. The tides had stopped, Poseidon himself having to stir the oceans to keep the currents flowing. It had taken two days before she even returned to physical form. She had not yet, however, spoken a single word since her reappearance. She remained in the Gardens of Solitude. Zeus himself had attempted to talk to her, and even banned Hera from entering the gardens outright, since he knew his wife would more than likely offer somewhat less than comforting words to his illegitimate daughter.

Apollo hadn't tried to speak to her. He had approached her, but had just stood from behind, watching as she stared vacantly into the waters of the stream that ran through the garden. It wasn't because he was uncaring or unsympathetic; it was more that he didn't feel he had the _right_ to say anything, especially to Artemis. He wasn't sure how he could ever face her again.

There was only one thing he knew he _could_ do, and that was taking care of some responsibilities himself. There were many people who depended on his sister, and they deserved to know where she was and what had happened.

He had to be the one to tell the news. The only other person who knew what had happened was Nico Di Angelo, and he knew he couldn't lay the responsibility to tell what had happened upon someone who was himself mourning the loss of a friend. So Apollo knew it was up to him; whilst he was also mourning the loss of the half-blood who he had probably spent more time with than any other corporeal being in a thousand years, Apollo would have to wait to mourn the loss of his friend. He had a job to do first.

He knew he had to begin with those who were, despite the gender difference, probably his most kindred spirits...

He had to tell the Hunters; or to be more accurate, _one _Hunter in particular...

-Ω-

The Huntress Aren was quite unsuspecting when she happened across the sun god whilst foraging for firewood. She entered the small clearing and, before her brain had even processed the identity of the male sitting on the tree stump in front of her, adopted a defensive posture. Of course her brain kicked in and she recognized the figure sat silently regarding her. Her defensiveness didn't drop much, though. "Lord Apollo?"

He smiled slightly."Hello, Aren."

The Huntress took a hesitant step back."What are you-"She blinked and shoved her hesitation to the side as a more important subject came to mind. "Where's Lady Artemis? Has something happened? We haven't seen her in days!" she exclaimed. There was a note of fear in her voice, the same fear that had been reverberating through the Hunter's camp for the past few days now.

The small smile on Apollo's face melted as he stood up and stepped back from where he had been sitting. "Why don't you take a seat..."

Aren didn't move. In fact, that single sentence froze her to the spot, as the fear in her voice reached her eyes. She swallowed. "Lord Apollo... What's going on?"

The sun god regarded her in silence with wide, sad eyes. "My sister... She won't be back for a little bit. You have to understand, Aren; she's... She's in a bad way," he said, his voice thick with barely suppressed emotion.

Aren was too scared at the implications of what he was saying, as she wavered on her feet. "But what happened? Why would Lady Artemis-" Aren froze in the middle of the question as a deep, sinking dread filled her, and she suddenly knew _exactly_ what would have happened; the only thing that could possibly wound Lady Artemis so much. She didn't know why, but she found herself mutely shaking her head as she backed away from the sun god, as if she could escape the reality he was about to present to her.

He just looked at her in silence, the understanding between them clear, as Aren fought to dismiss it.

And so, Apollo said the only two words needed to make the little Huntress break down, as he opened his mouth, and said in a thick, emotional voice:

"I'm sorry..."

Apollo watched with guilt-ridden eyes as the girl collapsed back and broke into tears. His limit reached, the sun god turned and left the Huntress to mourn by herself.

It would be an hour before Thalia and the other Hunters found Aren sobbing in the clearing, alone. It took another hour for them to make her tell them what had happened. And then the tears started again...

-Ω-

And so here Apollo was, walking numbly down the hill towards Camp Half-Blood.

It was ironic that Will Solace, who had been walking up to the Big House at the time, was the first to meet the lord of prophecy.

"Dad!" Will called, happily surprised at his father's sudden appearance. "What are you doing here? Last I heard you went with Lady Artemis to deal with the whole universe-collapsing thing. I guess since we're all still here that everything went well, though. It got a little hairy for a moment back there. Did you _see_ those lights in the sky?"

Apollo regarded his son blankly, but didn't reply, as if the words were taking time to process in his immortal mind.

The expression was not lost on the camp councilor, as he frowned. "Dad... What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Apollo glanced at the big house. "Will, why don't we step inside for a moment..."

The bad feeling Will felt was reflected on his face. "_Dad-_"

Apollo cut him off. "Let's just talk inside, shall we?"

He nodded mutely and walked ahead towards the building.

-Ω-

"You're late, Will," Clarisse said, not looking up from the timetable she was scribbling notes on as she lounged on the sofa.

"Sorry, I-"

"You're just lucky councilors don't lose points so easily for tardiness, "Mila intoned as she adjusted her makeup using her compact.

"They're right Will; you really should be setting an example, "Chiron, who was back in wheelchair form, said idly as he read from a book on his lap.

Will didn't try to respond further to the chastisements and simply stepped aside to allow his father entry.

Clarisse blinked in surprise. "Apollo?"

The name caused Chiron to look up from his book. "Lord Apollo! Why, this _is_ quite a surprise; to what do we owe the honor?"

"Yeah, _Sunshine_," Dionysus butted in. "What's up? Has your sister finished slacking off in her duties yet?"

Apollo didn't respond, he had merely walked over to the window and was staring up at the sky in silence.

Will approached and rested a hand on his father's shoulder. He pulled it back straight away, shocked as he realized that the god's body was unnaturally cold, which was extremely odd; he normally had a body temperature that you could feel radiating off him even at a distance. "Dad..." he breathed.

"Did you find them?" Chiron asked, observing the Olympian curiously.

Apollo didn't turn about, just nodded his head once slowly. "Find who?" Will asked with a frown.

"Selene and Armani," Chiron said. "Lady Artemis and Lord Apollo went to find them as well as deal with the issue of the damage to the fabric of the world."

Will blinked. "_Oh_. So what happened? Did you find them?"

"...Yes," said Apollo after a pause.

Clarisse stood up. "Well, what happened? Did you find him; did Armani manage to get back?"

The sun god let out a shaky laugh that somehow sent a chill down Will's spine. "Oh, yes, he came back, and Selene went home; she should be safe and sound."

Clarisse exhaled a breath. "Oh... Well, that's good isn't it? So where's Armani got to? Is he on his way?"

Mila scoffed. "Knowing him, he's probably out playing in the woods. He'll come back after he's had his fun and expect us all to be awed and grateful to once again _bask_ in his presence. Humph, I bet he's thinking we'll say 'all hail the great Hunter, back from yet another-'"

"He's dead, Mila."

The daughter of Aphrodite froze as a gaunt silence filled the air.

No one spoke for a moment, each unsure if they had correctly heard the emotionless phrase that Apollo had spoken.

She let out an extremely half-hearted laugh. "Yeah, _right_...You're really expecting us to..." she trailed off as a cold gust swept through the room and the skies outside darkened as the light of the sun itself faded slightly.

There was more silence, broken by Clarisse after a moment. "_What_?" She gaped, hoping she really had heard the sun god wrong.

"I said he's dead, didn't you _hear me_ the first time?" Apollo snapped.

Will took a step back from his father, still in a state of shock. He had lost so many brothers and sisters in the past few years that he simply didn't want to accept the idea of losing another person who was like family to him.

Chiron battled to keep his emotions under control; every hero's loss seemed to hurt him as much as the last. He took a calming breath. "I... think we'd like and explanation, Lord Apollo."

It was Clarisse, surprisingly, who found herself barely able to control her emotions. Armani wasn't a member of her cabin, but he had been like a project to her originally, and then a friend who she had fought side by side on a quest, and she had ended up looking at the small half-blood like an annoying little brother. "What happened?"

"A-are you sure he's dead?" Will asked shakily. "I mean, we've made mistakes before..."

Apollo was gripping the windowsill tightly, shaking slightly, "I assure you, he's gone. I'm positive."

Dionysus, who bottled up his usual disrespect for moments like this, spoke up. "And how can you be so sure?"

It was only as he turned about that the tears in Apollo's eyes became visible as he spoke, his voice breaking.

"Because I'm the one who killed him."

-Ω-

It didn't take long for Apollo to explain what had happened, and of course no one blamed him for the outcome. That still didn't make it hurt any less, and it still didn't seem to make Apollo feel less guilty.

Will forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, as Mila did her best to comfort Clarisse, who had been particularly upset by the news. He knew he couldn't let his own emotions out yet. There were people in his cabin who would take the news badly; one little girl who had taken a particular shining to him came to mind. Only once the preparations were made, and everything sorted out, would he allow himself the luxury of shedding his tears for the half-blood who, right up until the day he died, refused to get his name right...

After a while Chiron spoke solemnly. "Shall we prepare for the Hunter's arrival also? I'm assuming they'll be attending the ceremony."

Apollo nodded. "Yes, please do. I'm sure they'll be coming soon; please do your best to make them comfortable. I have to go... I really need to get back."

Chiron nodded. "Of course."

He turned to Will as he left. "I'm leaving the rest up to you, okay, Will?"

He nodded once. "Of course, dad. We'll be fine."

Apollo nodded one more time, then turned and left, leaving the campers to prepare.

-Ω-

"I've told them," Apollo said quietly, but if Artemis had heard him she didn't show it. She just sat on the bench, blankly staring ahead as she leaned against the pillar beside it.

Apollo heaved a sigh as he regarded his sister. The unnatural way the son of the goddess of childbirth had passed had truly taken a devastating impact on said goddess.

"Feel numb..." Artemis suddenly mumbled.

Apollo approached quickly and sat down by his sister. "What did you say?"

"Doesn't _feel_ like he's gone... it just feels numb, like someone just opened a huge hole inside me that won't close. I can't feel..."

Apollo had attempted to talk to her more after that, but she had simply gone silent again.

Apollo considered just how similar the way gods grieve was to mortals. The mortals say there are _stages _of grief: disbelief, bargaining, anger, sadness and acceptance.

But it was different for Artemis; she was _stuck_ somehow, stuck in the first stage of grief. She had felt his loss, but couldn't physically accept it.

The sun god stood up and turned about, and a look of determination flashed over his features. He glanced over his shoulder to his sister's back, a sad look on his face. There was only one thing for it...

_Oh, the things I do for you..._

He inhaled a breath and walked about the bench, then began talking. "Oh, how you must hate me, Artemis."

There was a pause, but she actually answered; a good sign. "Why would you say something like that?" she asked in a small voice.

He spread his arms out. "Oh, _come on!_ First I kill your lover and then I take away your _son!_ How can you _not_ hate me?"

She didn't respond.

Apollo paused, hesitating, and then spoke again. "I guess if you can't even muster that amount of feeling then you really didn't love him that much after all..."

Artemis visibly flinched, as if someone had physically slapped her.

Apollo continued circling her. "...but that's only natural, sis. He was only a _boy, _after all. A real hindrance, wasn't he?"

"Be quiet..." she whispered.

"I understand that you were incapable of loving him, but you shouldn't feel guilty for that. You shouldn't feel bad for being who you are..."

"That's not true..." she said in little more than a whimper.

Apollo stopped. "Is that right? You can't even grant his last request and look after his _friend._ You're just sitting here moping in self-pity. Zeus _knows_ how much you hated him when you first met. 'Vermin' you called him once, as I recall..."

"Shut up..."

"You say you _loved _him? You're incapable of that and you know it!"

"I said that's not true!" she said back loudly.

Apollo just scoffed. "The Goddess of the Hunt can't even shed a tear for her own _son!_"

Something in Artemis snapped as she let out a loud shriek, bolted straight up into a spinning jump and kicked the stone bench square at Apollo.

It struck him head on and exploded into fragments, sending the sun god flying onto his back. Artemis was hot on him though, landing with both knees into his chest.

She swung down, punching him once in the face. Screaming curses at him in every language known, she began battering him violently, but each punch became weaker as tears began flowing down her childlike face and down onto her opponent. She eventually collapsed on top of her brother, sobbing loudly into his chest as grief finally caught up to the goddess.

And so Apollo ended up doing one thing he hadn't done in all his long years:

He held his sister in his arms.

He ran a hand through her hair, ignoring the pain for now.

_Anger...check._

_Sorrow... check._

He knew, however, that she might never accept the loss she had encountered.

-Ω-

Time's a funny thing for gods, so Apollo wasn't sure how long it took Artemis to stop venting her anguish.

"The Hunters will probably be heading to Camp Half-blood; will you be okay to meet them?" he asked quietly as he sat beside her.

She nodded. "I will be composed by that time. I also have one final duty to perform for him after the ceremony."

Apollo understood. "Lya... What are you going to do about her?"

She nodded as Apollo stood up, watching her. "I have yet to decide; perhaps I shall take her with me. It has been quite some time since I had a Nymph as part of my Hunt." She looked up at her brother. "You can go now, brother. I will be fine. You appear to need to compose yourself more than I."

Apollo glanced down at himself: His shirt was ripped open and his jeans were torn in a most unfashionable way. His wounds weren't too bad at least; it hadn't been nearly as bad as the last beating she had given him. A bit of nectar and he'd probably perk right back up. "I do look somewhat less than fabulous. _Alright_...I'll leave you be." At that the sun god turned about and walked away.

"Apollo..." Artemis said, still sitting down.

The sun god paused.

"Thank you."

Apollo didn't respond, just nodded and continued on...

Silence descended for a while as the goddess sat in sad contemplation. This silence was broken, however, as a gathering of red sparks began crackling in the air above the gardens...

-Ω-

Apollo limped back into the throne room, clothes changed, back in his giant form and swigging deeply from a sports-bottle full of nectar.

He turned and sat slowly down in his throne, wincing as he settled down. "Damn, that smarts..."

Zeus regarded his son from his throne. "Apollo. Well done."

The sun god just nodded drearily, wishing the gods had an equivalent to aspirin.

Sometimes the mortals didn't know how good they had it...

Poseidon, who was also in his throne, looked off into the distance. "_Ahh, _that's much better. Things have finally started moving properly again. Well, I'd best be off then, I'm not needed here anymore..."

"Thank you for your time, brother," Zeus said curtly, Poseidon nodding in response before reverting to his immortal form and disappearing from the throne room.

"I'm glad that drama's over," Hera said. "I really don't see what all the palaver was over. I _said_ he would be a bad influence. Just look what he caused to happen: cracks in the sky; undead monsters; outright chaos. _Honestly..._even in _death_ he's causing trouble in the family. I'll just be glad when this, and _he_, are all done with and forgotten."

A dark glare flashed over Apollo's face, which he quickly concealed behind a small smile. "Now, now, _mother_, be nice. My sis is having a tough day."

Hera didn't hide her own glare. "Do _not_ call me that," she hissed angrily.

"That's enough, both of you, "Zeus chided, a small chuckle coming from another throne. "Something amuses you, Hermes?"

He shook his head, still smiling. "No, nothing. It's just so _exciting_... all this drama."

"Boring is the word," Ares grunted, running a flaming sharpening stone over the blade of his broadsword. "If you ask me-" the war god halted mid-sentence as a gust of wind blew through the throne room; the hearth flickered. Zeus scowled curiously as crackles of red light began gathering in the air in the centre of the room. It built up until there was a miniature lightning storm brewing near the ceiling.

Hermes leaned forward. "Umm, _red_ lightning? Did you change the color scheme, dad?"

Zeus didn't respond, his eyes burrowing into the storm. Apollo too seemed uncharacteristically silent.

The crackling built up further until it swirled into a glowing crimson mass that abruptly crashed down into the floor below.

From within that light, two figures tumbled to the floor in a heap.

-Ω-

"That was a bit bumpier than I remember..." Holly groaned as she rubbed the back of her head. She felt a heavy weight on her back and, glancing over her shoulder, saw a familiar mop of blonde resting there. She nudged her shoulder upwards. "Hey, Juliet. Are you okay?"

Juliet groaned and pushed herself off the elf slightly. "What in the heck happened?"

Holly was about to answer, but as she looked up she choked on her words in what can only be described as abject terror.

"Holly?" Juliet asked, still feeling slightly groggy.

Holly didn't respond. In fact, she had pretty much forgotten how to speak for the moment.

The biggest mud-man she had ever seen was now looming down over her.

Now, even amongst elves, Holly Short was a little below average height. To be honest, she sometimes found the average human to be a bit imposing. Butler is what many Fairies have described as a walking man-mountain. _This_ guy, though, was more like a bad joke. He was _nightmare _big. He was a human on the scale Fairy parents used tell their kids to scare them off ever coming to the surface. And just for a second, she was scared she _had_ walked into some kind of nightmare.

Speaking of nightmares…

-Ω-

Jane continued advancing slowly on me, savoring what she must've seen as the inevitable.

"Wait!" I shouted, raising a hand.

She paused, regarding me with cold eyes. "What?" she asked in her usual monotone.

"What about her?" I asked, pointing to Eris, who raised a single eyebrow.

Jane spared Eris a second's glance. "What about her?"

"She's a goddess, you know," I said.

Surprisingly, she didn't question if I was lying. She just asked, "Your point?"

I shrugged. "No point. I was just saying you should eat her instead."

"_Hey__!_"

I backed away as Jane began walking more quickly towards me. "Eris!" I barked.

"Yes?" she asked with amusement.

"Trust me; you _really_ should do something about her!" I said, circling around now to keep my distance from the vampire. Jane's eyes followed me like a stalking predator as I backed to the other side of the clearing, keeping Eris between us.

She shrugged. "I don't see what the problem is. Are you saying you can't win? Is it your instinct never to harm an innocent maiden that's stopping you?"

I gritted my teeth as, with a blur, Jane crossed half the distance between us. "Trust me, Eris! _Innocent maiden _is _not_ a phrase I would use to describe _that!_"

Eris cocked her head. "Are you claiming she's not a maiden?"

"That's –well, if she's _not_ I sincerely doubt anybody lived to talk about it—but _regardless,_ is she real?"

Eris shrugged. "Real as you want, or _don't _want, her to be."

Jane had stopped again. She had an air of twisted amusement about her as she regarded both myself and the goddess. "Eris, you have no idea what you've just unleashed on the world!"

"Come along, it's just one little girl."

"Try _vampire_!" I snapped.

Eris scowled and then looked straight upwards. "But it's the middle of the day…"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh don't get me started…"

"Well, be that as it may, I think I'll leave you kids to it." I glanced away as, with a bright blaze of light, the goddess vanished, leaving me alone.

I wish…

Jane eyed the spot Eris had occupied for a moment before returning her attention to me. I raised a hand again. "Wait, wait just one second. Aren't you at all curious?"

"About what?"

I shook my head. "Does this _look_ like Italy to you? Don't you wonder why you're here? Why we're not still fighting back at Volturi Central?"

She cocked her head, eyes still locked on me. "No, not really."

"_Oh_…So… Not wondering about the goddess either then, I take it? Not wondering how an ancient Greek myth just held a conversation right in front of your eyes?"

"No."

"Then I take it all you're really after is…" I trailed off.

"I think you can guess that."

"Yeah, I can. Just let me ask you one more thing."

She paused, as if deciding to entertain the idea. "Very well…" she said after a moment.

"What are you going to do _after_ you've killed me?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Who says I'm going to kill you?"

I swallowed a gulp. "_Yeah_, was worried you'd remember that."

"However, if I _do_ kill you, what happens after really won't be any of your concern."

I nodded. "Fair point." Then as I met her eyes, I froze, tensing up. There was a second's silence between us.

Jane regarded me silently as she crouched down ever so slightly. I clenched a fist and turned my body to the side, my hand drifting to the hilt of my sword.

The silence was broken by the clink of the blade in the sheath as I touched the pommel, and Jane pounced.

I twirled about, tearing my sword free and slashing at the spot Jane was now occupying in midair. I observed, in almost slow-motion, as the point descended towards her torso, a fraction of a millisecond from slicing her open down the side… only for the blade to pass right through her.

Jane skidded to a halt, regarding the weapon embedded harmlessly in her side up to the hilt.

"Oh, _come on_!" I shouted. "_Vampires_ aren't important enough for celestial bronze?"

It was then that a spark of hope went through me.

_Maybe it passed through her because she has no substance. Maybe she really_ is_ just a-_

The rising hope was dashed as Jane swung about and backhanded me in the face with enough force to send me spinning halfway across the common and skidding through the earth the rest of the way across.

Blood welled up in my mouth as I pushed myself to my feet. Two of my teeth had been outright shattered.

And then I did something quite silly:

I spat the blood out.

_You really shouldn't have done that_…

I saw Jane's head snap round out of my peripheral vision. I heard her hiss as she orientated herself to face me. A look of lust had filled her eyes to add to her sadistic stare. I had to assume her power still didn't work on me, as I'm sure she would've disabled me with it by now if she could.

I'm also not sure how appetizing demigod blood was, but I noticed there was now a sense of urgency in her eyes that hadn't been there before, and I realized just then what it was I had done:

I had made her hungry, and to make matters worse, she was smiling again. That couldn't be a good sign.

I didn't give her time to lunge. I summoned my bow with one fluidic movement and loosed three arrows right at her. I wasn't sure how much damage I could do with an arrow to her almost stone-hard skin, but I knew I had to try.

As it turned out it didn't really matter. Jane leaned back with lightning speed, allowing two of the arrows to pass harmlessly over her head, and as for the third…well_…_what she did there was just plain cheating.

That's_… impossible._

Jane stood back up, the silver arrow she had snatched out of the air grasped in her fist. She regarded the glistening projectile for a second before glancing at me out the corner of her eye. And then, with a flick of her wrist, she sent it flying right back at me like a dart.

_Disperse!_

The arrow shimmered and disappeared a second before it could pierce my kneecap. Unfortunately, Jane was right on its tail.

She landed on me with a blur, her knee embedded in my chest. Before we could come to a stop, though, I used the remaining momentum to flip her over my head and then propel myself back onto my feet away from her. I knew if she managed to successfully get me to the ground I had no chance. I wasn't sure if an imaginary vampire still retained their venom and hence their ability to turn people, but to be honest I didn't really feel like testing the theory.

Jane was back on her feet a second after me. I abandoned all pretenses and began firing volleys of arrows at her, five at a time. My arm was a streak of white, each fast movement sending a string of silver into the air as I quite literally went ballistic.

Unfortunately, the more it rained silver, the closer Jane was coming. I backed up as quickly as possible, firing rapidly as I realized her body was little more than a blur as she darted about, making a beeline through the raining arrows for me, dodging, knocking some aside, or simply allowing some of the slower ones to bounce harmlessly off her skin.

_This isn't working! You'll tire before you even get two hundred yards away._

I knew there was only one other thing I could do: I had to escape, but I also knew I had to slow her down first.

"Only one thing for it then…" I grunted and tossed my bow and remaining arrows aside. I closed my eyes, focusing to dissipate the countless others that lay about the clearing; I didn't want to give her more chances to hurl them at me, after all. A fog of white moonlight filled the air as the numerous arrows disappeared.

Jane was still mid-stance, her eyes darting about.

Realizing my life expectancy might be now measured in seconds, I acted as quickly as I could.

I took my eyes from her, raised my head to the skies… and howled.

-Ω-

Artemis regarded the storm of red light with momentary curiosity, taking a step back as it flashed brightly and a black mass dropped out of it, splashing unceremoniously into the stream.

She observed as bubbles rose up from beneath the surface and a figure wearing a soaked black suit burst free of the water, spluttering and gasping for breath.

He crawled free of the water and stood up, regarding his disheveled appearance with distaste. "How undignified…"

-Ω-

Artemis Fowl was not in a good mood. The only time he enjoyed getting wet was when he was taking a bath; he'd only learned to _swim_ out of necessity. He peeled off his attaché jacket and shook it, wringing out some of the water. _Dry clean only… Well, that's ruined. _He sighed and tossed the jacket aside, straightening his equally soaked black tie.

Only then did he notice something was wrong. He glanced about his surroundings. "Holly? Juliet? Arm-"

"Identify yourself." A cold voice butted in and Artemis flinched. He swung to his right to regard the figure that had been standing so silently he hadn't realized she was there.

And when he did look, he actually found himself fighting the urge to stagger at the sight of her. She looked like a young girl, a few years younger than he was. And she was _beautiful_… Artemis tried to find the words to describe her, and for a second he forgot his situation, and just looked at her, as his mind found the perfect word to sum up the beauty of the girl before him.

_I__nhuman… she's inhumanly beautiful._

She cocked an eyebrow. "An opinion?"

"An observation," Artemis responded reflexively before he'd even realized he'd spoken. It took him another second to realize he hadn't actually _said_ anything prior to that.

Now, Artemis Fowl didn't realize it at the time, but that response may have very well saved his life. For if he had been the sort to make so much of as a hint of a flirtatious remark, those words would have been the last he'd ever speak.

"Might I ask where I am?"

The girl went silent, as if deciding whether or not to dignify him with a response. She chose to speak. "Olympus. Now answer my question. Who or _what_ are you, and where did you come from?"

_Olympus_? Artemis thought with a start, suddenly remembering what had happened. _We were in the tunnel, I was allowing his mind to guide the way… Then something happened and the last thing I remember would be… thinking how it's a shame I'd never get to meet…_

"Artemis…" he breathed.

He hid an intake of breath when she replied, plainly and simply. "Yes. So you know me, then?"

And then Artemis Fowl realized something. Something had happened that had never happened in his entire life:

He was dumbstruck. He was standing before a goddess, soaked through and through, and gaping like a plebian as the childlike goddess' silver eyes burned into him.

He tried to focus, remembering what Armani had said about the best way to block out a god.

_He said something about a song. He used a song… But that wasn't it… It was because the song was nonsensical, ridiculous. Fill your head with nonsense! That's what he said!_

Artemis Fowl exhaled a breath and then thought back to one evening several months ago; to when he was stuck babysitting with Juliet, and was forced for the entire day to look after the boys whilst watching Juliet's Wrestlemania DVDs.

And so he allowed that memory to flow freely through; filling his head with images of over the top muscle-bound athletes in spandex making fools of themselves.

Needless to say, it was enough to get the Goddess of the Hunt out of his head.

The goddess shook her head, taking a step backwards as she found herself horribly interrupted in trying to find out exactly who he was.

Artemis Fowl took a step back as the goddess' face turned angry, but he noticed that it didn't seem to reach her eyes, as if she was trying to _force_ the emotions out. In face she seemed to be radiating sorrow and nothing else.

It probably would've been better if he had just let her rummage about.

"_Enough,_" Artemis said, and flung a hand in Artemis Fowl's direction. The next thing the boy knew he was hurled back through the air and crashed to the earth. Only it wasn't a boy that lay there any more…

But a very pale-looking weasel.

The goddess looked down emotionlessly at him as Artemis the weasel realized what had happened. Most boys Artemis turned into beasts usually went into an absolute panic and ended up flailing about wildly in their new four legged forms. Artemis Fowl, however, was remaining oddly silent. In fact, all he could think at the time was:

_A pasty-faced weasel… Oh, the irony._

Artemis glared coldly down and grabbed the animal by the throat. Artemis Fowl was remaining frustratingly composed. Why?Simple - because he had something the goddess needed to know, and he opened his mind up just long enough for the goddess to realize this before locking it shut again.

Artemis' eyes widened. "_What?" _she demanded. "What is it that you know?" She shook the little animal, then rolled her eyes as she realized he couldn't actually speak. She inclined her head. "There, I have restored your power of speech. Now speak."

The weasel remained silent for a moment, and then spoke. "…No."

Artemis snarled and began squeezing, and Artemis Fowl could feel his tiny bones begin to strain, but he knew he had to bargain, and although he hated what he had to say next, given what he knew she must've gone through, he didn't want to save his morals at the cost of his life. "Tell me..." the weasel choked, and Artemis stopped, regarding him curiously. "Will you be the one to tell my mother I won't be coming home?"

The goddess suddenly looked like she'd been punched as she dropped Artemis Fowl, staggering back a step. He needed her to turn him back, and if guilt and shame was the only way to do it…

"How many others have there been? Just how _many_ have you taken away? How many lost children who never had a funeral since their parents held out hope until the day they died? How many sisters who lost a brother? How many mothers whose children simply vanished off the face of the earth? Did you tell _them_ what happened?" Artemis glowered at the small animal, her emotions dangling by a thread. "I suppose I'm just going be another in a _long _line…"

Artemis Fowl felt bad for what he was saying, but he had no choice; he rarely did in these circumstances. It was also an extreme gamble to say what he was saying. She would either now turn him back or blast him into atoms…

Either way, it had certainly been a most interesting day.

He wasn't sure _when_ it was that Artemis changed him back, but he suddenly found himself regarding a pale-faced deity who wasn't even looking at him.

She then asked in a small voice, "Is there a reason I didn't just destroy you for what you've said?"

"Could it be that _maybe_ you needed to hear it?" And he didn't realize that he'd gone a step too far until after the words the words had left his mouth.

Artemis rounded on him, tore a dagger free and began advancing on the boy. Artemis Fowl didn't flinch, though; he wasn't scared. He didn't _need _power to stop a goddess. He didn't need technology. No, Artemis Fowl only ever needed one thing: his knowledge. And he knew the only five words in all of creation capable of stopping the Goddess of the Hunt dead in her tracks:

"He's not dead, you know."

-Ω-

Jane was stunned for a moment. Arching up and doing an extremely accurate impression of a wolf will do that to someone.

I noticed a momentary look of revulsion flash over her pale face, but it disappeared quickly. "Are you finished?"

I smirked, "What's the matter, Jane? Not a dog person?"

Now she looked angry, as if I had somehow spoiled the purity of her perfect kill, and she didn't reply further, she simply lunged. She leapt with such blinding speed that at this distance I had no chance to dodge.

Not that I needed to.

I knew Jane saw the same thing I did, as her eyes turned to the side just in time to see the silver wolf that erupted from the undergrowth and sideswiped her down to the ground.

Her composure vanished as she let out an indignant shriek whilst the wolf tried its best to maul the vampire.

The wolf bit down into her upper arm; its fangs couldn't penetrate her hardened skin, but still it held on, thrashing about and pinning her down.

Jane glared down and flattened her hand, which she drove clear through the wolf's torso like a blade. It let out a sudden pained whine and exploded into a wisp of silvery smoke.

Jane shook free of the smoke and leapt back to her feet. Her face was still totally neutral but her eyes burned with indescribable fury.

I circled around, then backed up to the opposite side of the common, Jane mirroring my movements until she had me ranged again, herself standing in the centre of the clearing.

_That'll do…_

"That wasn't very nice…" she said, cocking her head slightly. She smiled slightly, and I got the feeling that whatever thought was making her smile, it wasn't very pleasant.

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then you're not going to like this bit very much…"

Her eyes narrowed a tad, but widened again as a dozen shadows began spreading across the ground in a spiral pattern around her.

The look on her face was almost priceless, for that one second between when she realized there was no way to dodge what was coming and when the twelve wolves leaping at her from every direction actually fell on her.

_Run!_

I wasn't going to argue. I knew the wolves could only hold her off temporarily. Even as I turned they were doing their best to simply thrash about and keep her pinned down. A wisp of smoke from where one of the wolves had been signaled it really was time for me to depart posthaste.

I turned about and darted for the tree line, and when I actually set foot there, crossing the boundary, something very odd happened…

There was a surge of something, of something coming back to life, a piece of myself I didn't know was gone suddenly returning like a long-lost friend into your embrace.

My body shimmered for a second, and then there was a ripple of energy from around me, as if I'd passed through some kind of barrier at the edge of the forest. The feeling was so shocking I nearly tripped over my own feet.

It was a strange feeling; like the world itself just opened its arms and embraced me. And then it finally dawned on me what it was.

_Welcome home…_

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips as I glanced once back over my shoulder.

_Oh, __catch me__ if you can…_

And then I was running again.

-Ω-

Artemis (Fowl) had not moved, and neither had Artemis (the original). He really _had_ frozen her in her steps.

The goddess just regarded the boy in silence. Then suddenly, to Artemis Fowl's surprise, she gasped. Her body's outline shimmered like a ripple in a pond as she doubled over, her hands clasping her lower abdomen.

Artemis moved forwards to help on instinct. "What's… "He trailed off as that ripple of energy passed over him and he heard from within it a long, deep howling.

The boy drew a breath as the sound stirred something deep in his core; but there was something else about it, something in the tone and the overall _feeling_ of it, that was very familiar.

The sound seemed to go on and on, echoing throughout his core. _It's him… I don't know how I know… but it's definitely him, _the boy thought, frozen to the spot.

Artemis gasped, her breathing seeming labored as she began to push herself up. Suddenly another pulse of energy sent her staggering backwards a few steps; this time her outline glowed a bright white like an aura.

Artemis Fowl took a hesitant step forwards, hesitating as the goddess gasped out two words. "Can't be…"

"Artemis?"

She stood slowly back up. Her entire body was glowing with a bright silvery aura. "It _can't be_…" She said, still breathing heavily.

The Irish boy saw the occasional drop fall from her eyes, the goddess herself touching her wet face, as if confused by the tears.

She then looked to the mortal, her eyes almost pleading, as if begging him to confirm what was in her heart.

Now Artemis Fowl could've just given a simple 'told you so'; instead he looked at her dead on and said, "My name is Artemis Fowl. Armani Dove sends his regards."

He then walked past her towards the garden's exit.

He paused at the entrance, and then, without turning about, said, "You know… Your statues _really_ don't do you justice."

If Artemis heard him, she didn't show it, as she lost her last thread of control and disappeared in a blaze of white light.

"_That_ was an opinion…" he said after a moment's silence, before strolling calmly off towards the columns of mount Olympus.

-Ω-

Zeus was silent as he regarded the strangers, and said nothing as he wordlessly raised a finger and pointed at the intruders, crackling blue energy gathering at the tip.

Holly's eyes widened and she jumped back. "Whoa! Wait!" she shouted, raising her hands defensively.

Juliet was already standing up, gaping openly at the figures regarding them.

Holly actually yelped slightly as she realized there wasn't just _one_ mud-giant, but a whole _room_ of them.

She gaped up at the one in the center, who was now hesitating with his crackling finger. "W-who are you?"

The Olympian raised his head up, looking down his nose at her and saying in a loud, booming voice, "I… am Zeus, Lord of Olympus!"

"Holly…" Juliet muttered carefully, "you remember how Arty was talking about gods?"

Holly just nodded in response.

"I think these might be them…"

Holly looked back at the blonde girl. "You _think_?"

"What _are you_?" Holly staggered away quickly as Hermes leaned in dangerously close to the Elf, but when someone with a head bigger than your entire body starts invading your personal space, you probably have a right to be nervous.

"Who cares _what_ they are, just destroy them already," Hera said tiredly.

Zeus wordlessly aimed two fingers at the pair again, light crackling again.

"Whoa, time out!" Juliet shouted, Holly going reflexively for her Neutrino.

"No mortal may stand in these halls!" Zeus bellowed.

"Oh yeah? Well, what about that Rachel girl?" Apollo asked dryly.

Zeus glared at the sun god. "Apollo, be silent!"

"Apollo?" Juliet echoed, turning to look at the blonde god. "Are you _really_ Apollo?"

"Heard of me, have you?" He asked smugly, plastering his best lady-killer smile on his face.

Juliet shuffled slightly. "Y-yeah."

He glanced at Zeus. "Why don't you leave this one to me, dad?"

The god merely rolled his eyes in response as Apollo leaned in closer, resting his chin in his palm.

"So tell me, ladies, where do you hail from?" he asked, smiling still.

Juliet, despite herself, found she was blushing as Apollo's (extremely) large blue eyes pierced into her. "Umm, well… you _see…"_

"Artemis isn't here, "Holly suddenly said, having just nowrealized their other two companions were missing.

Apollo glanced up at the empty throne across from him and then back. "You're right, cutie, she isn't. So tell me, what's _your_ name?" he asked the elf directly and somewhat seductively.

Holly took a cautious step back. "Short. Captain Holly Short of the LEP."

"_Really_, Holly? And what's an elf like you doing in a place like this?"

Juliet frowned. "Hang on, how did you know Holly was an elf?"

Apollo smiled at Juliet again. "I'm a god, you know? Hey… Do you wanna-"

"-see your chariot? I'd _love_ to." Juliet butted in happily.

Apollo blinked in surprise, and then beamed so happily you'd think it was his birthday. "Juliet, this is _not_ the time," Holly muttered.

Juliet cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah? Well you were blushing too, Holly."

"Enough! " Zeus boomed, causing both Juliet and Holly to yelp in shock. "Explain your presence here," he said in a quieter, but frighteningly commanding voice.

"Do you want me to be honest?" Juliet asked.

"I will know if you are not," Zeus replied warningly.

"'kay… We sort of came from another universe," Juliet said carefully, half-expecting the god to blast her at any second.

Instead, Zeus merely narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "I see…"

Juliet blinked. "Y-you do?"

He nodded. "Now tell me _why _you have chosen to intrude upon my domain. Depending on your answer, I may let you leave alive. If you lie, I shall destroy you. If you omit any truth, I shall destroy you. If I feel you are attempting to make light of us, I-"

"You'll destroy us?" Juliet butted in. Thunder rumbled violently outside. "Sorry, sir…"

"Speak," he commanded.

"W-well, we sort of came here to bring a friend home. And now he and one of our other friends are missing."

"Carry on…" Zeus said as the other gods observed them carefully.

"And, you see, on our way here-" Juliet paused as another voice drifted in from the entryway.

"So this is where you've got to. To be honest, I was worried we'd been separated by too great a distance, but this is most fortunate," said the unmistakable voice of Artemis Fowl as he calmly strolled into the throne room of the gods, seeming utterly unfazed by the giants staring at him.

"You're here!" Holly gasped as Artemis coolly approached the two women.

"What are we having, an open day or something?" Hermes sighed. "Where do you mortals keep coming from?"

Artemis bowed his head curtly, "I apologize for the intrusion, and I hope you forgive my friends and myself for our presence here, my lords and lady, but please understand; it was not our intention to come here at all. It would seem some unknown force pushed us into landing here."

"And you are?" Zeus asked.

He bowed again. "Artemis Fowl the Second, and am I right into assuming you to be Zeus; Lord of the Skies?"

He nodded. "I am," Zeus replied, ignoring Ares' snarky comment about him having a girl's name.

"Then let me say it is an honor sir, to be in the presence of both yourself and your family." He said, being as courteous as possible.

Zeus regarded him silently as Holly approached his side, "Where have you _been_? And how can you be so _calm_? These are _gods_, you know," she hissed in his ear, regarding the lead god warily.

Artemis looked unperturbed. "I'm well aware of that. As I said; I landed slightly off course from you and Juliet, and I was in conversation with one of the other Olympian gods just moments ago."

"Which one?"

Artemis inclined his head, a ghost of a smile on his face. "Believe it or not, it was actually Artemis; the original one."

"Hang on a sec, "Apollo suddenly said, easily hearing their hushed conversation.

Artemis turned about, smiling as if pleasantly surprised. "Ah! Lord Apollo, I presume…"

"Hi, how you doin'? But as I was about to ask: Did you actually _speak_ with my sis?"

Artemis nodded. "I did. I had some tidings for her, and she was forced to leave most abruptly."

Apollo blinked in surprise. "She _left_, as in left the gardens?" Apollo asked, finding himself unable to read the boy's mind. The elf's thoughts were difficult to read also, as if there were some force clouding his ability to read her thoughts. In fact, all he'd manage to scrape off her mind was the fact she was an elf, and even that took some doing. As for Juliet; her thoughts were either blocked by fear or more _positive_ emotions that were aimed at him.

Artemis nodded. "She did, and she seemed in quite a hurry to do so."

Hermes shrugged. "Well, that's a turn up for the books. At least she's gone out."

"I'm sorry," Juliet suddenly said, shaking her head, "but can I _please_ ask a question…For all of you?" She said, indicating the gods.

They glanced at each other, then Apollo spoke. "Go right ahead…"

"It's just…Are you _really_ the gods? Like _the_ gods…as in the Greek ones?" She asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you doubt the gods?" Zeus suddenly demanded loudly, his voice echoing.

Juliet jumped back a step in shock, "No! No, it's just… I thought you'd be more… _Y'know …" _She gestured towards Zeus as if wafting out her clothes and sort of fluffed her hair a bit, trying to basically gesture what she was implying.

"_Ah_…" Zeus suddenly said understandingly, "Do you mean… Like** THIS?**" His voice bellowed as his clothed shimmered into a classic Greek toga, a pair of laurels materializing on his now wavy white hair. His Master bolt shimmered into his hand, crackling with blinding blue light as thunderclouds gathered about the ceiling above them. "**Is this form what you expected?**" he shouted over the thunderous din about them.

Juliet merely "_eeped"_ in response. The thunderstorm died down and Zeus returned to his more contemporary appearance.

Juliet now looked quite pale as Artemis sighed, "Well, you did ask…"

"Show off…" Apollo muttered under his breath. "Hey, wanna see me go all classical?"

Juliet shook her head, "No, sir."

Apollo's face fell. "_Oh_…" he then returned his eyes to Artemis. "What were you saying about my sister? Where was it she went?"

Artemis inclined his head. "I'm afraid she didn't actually say _where_ she was going, but I think there was a certain person she wished to see."

Apollo frowned. "A _certain person? _Oh, forget it, I'll just look for myself, "he said, digging down the side of his chair and pulling out a phone.

"What's that?" Holly asked as Apollo began tapping the screen on the device.

"My IrisPhone 4. I'm just pulling up my app for tracking my sister."

"Apps for everything these days…" Hermes muttered.

Apollo frowned. "Hmm… she's moving across the U.S towards the coast, she's going at very high speed…" he said thoughtfully."I haven't seen her move at that kind of speed for quite some time. I wonder…" he mumbled as he pressed a button on his phone's screen.

"What are you up to?" Hermes asked, leaning sideways in his seat to get a better look.

"Just booting up the Iris app. I've got to check something out…"

A bleep filled the air as Apollo held the phone flat. A rainbow spread up from the top of the screen and reached down to the bottom. Within it a miniature image of Iris shimmered to life.

The mini-goddess stretched and let out a loud yawn. "Whadisit? I was taking a nap, you know. There better be a reason you didn't use the automated- _oh…_ hello, Apollo."

The god winked. "Hey there, gorgeous."

Hermes coughed.

"I mean, hey there visually appealing acquaintance whom I admire in the strictest plutonic and professional sense."

"That'll do, Apollo," The messenger god muttered.

Iris wiped some sleep out of her eyes. "So what do you need?"

"I need you to do a search for me."

Iris shrugged. "Can do. What are you looking for?"

"My sis is heading east from here; I think she's going after something."

Iris' smile faltered. "Oh, yes, poor Arty. I heard what happened. How's she doing?"

Apollo's smile slackened slightly. "She's getting there… _Anyways_, what I need you to do is tell me if there's anything in the direction she's heading. If she keeps going the way she is, is there anything of interest in her path; are there any gods, Hunters or half-bloods?"

Iris leaned off the image. There was clicking as if she were typing something. "Hmm… No gods. Let's try for Hunters and half-bloods…"

"Who is that?" Juliet whispered into Artemis' ear.

"That's Iris; Goddess of rainbows and carrier of messages between the gods. Now hush…"

"What about Armani? Aren't we going to go look for him?" she asked, still quietly.

"All in good time, Juliet. I'm sure he's fine, but first things first."

"_Oh._ We have a match," Iris announced happily, then suddenly her face creased into a frown as she regarded whatever it was that was off-screen. "Hang on a sec," she said, reaching into her pockets and putting on a pair of glasses. She squinted and then shook her head. "No… That's definitely what it says."

"What _what_ says, Iris?" Apollo asked.

"My screen: that's what it says. Oh, now that's just _mean_… Why can't he just make up his mind? One moment he's on my board, the next he's off, and now he's _back_ again," She moaned.

Apollo narrowed his eyes. "Iris, whoever it is, put me through."

She sighed. "If that's what you want…" she paused, waiting.

Apollo frowned. "What is it?"

She extended a hand. "Payment, Apollo. You're not scrimping out on me this time."

Apollo exhaled a tired breath. "Just put it on my account."

Iris frowned. "You haven't paid your account in over three hundred years! Do you have any idea how much you owe me? Now cough it up."

"Oh, _come on_…"

Iris just scowled.

Apollo looked to Zeus. "_Come on_, dad. I'll pay you back."

Zeus remained stoic and silent.

"Stingy…" He muttered under his breath and turned back to Iris. "_Fine_, just reverse the charges then."

"If that's what you want." She pulled a headset telephone from outside the image and slid it over her head.

There was another click of a key and Iris spoke again, her voice level and professional. "This is a reverse-charges call. Please insert one Drachma for the first five minutes."

There was a silence, and there seemed to be a loud shout coming from Iris' headset.

Apollo frowned. "What is it?"

Iris listened and then replied, "I understand, sir. Please hold the line."

She turned her eyes back to Apollo, her familiar smile returning. "He says he doesn't have any sodding Drachma."

Apollo blinked. "_Come again?_"

"That's what he said. 'I-' _oh_, hang on a tic…" She listened again to what was obviously more shouting. "Yes, sir, one moment please." She turned back to Apollo. "He says 'why don't you ask the sodding vampire?'"

"W-wha-"

Iris raised her hand, clearly listening again. "_Oh_, apparently I wasn't supposed to say that bit…" She paused, nodding. "…Or that… Or-" Iris flinched as a loud bark from her headset caused it to half leap off her ear. She turned back, looking a little glum and confused.

"What is it?"

"I was just told to shut up. That's never happened before…"

Apollo frowned curiously as Iris shuffled, humming a tune. "Alright then," he said, and stood up, slipping a hand into his back pocket and pulling out a pile of coins which he dumped into the image, where they disappeared.

Iris scowled. "You had that all along? Cheapskate…"

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Just put me through already."

Iris shook her head and turned back to her screen. "Hold on, I'll just connect you."

"Fine; switch it to private, too." The sun god said, pulling out a pair of earphones which he then plugged into his phone. The rainbow descended until the image flattened into the screen of his phone so only he could see it.

Everyone else in the room seemed to have been caught up in what was going on as an odd silence descended. Apollo, still frowning, sat back in his throne as the image appeared on his screen.

And then Apollo's face made the oddest expression… In, fact it looked as though it didn't _know_ how to express correctly what he was feeling.

He opened his mouth to speak, closed it again, raised a finger as if trying to express a point and then folded his arms, frowning at the image as if it were some taxing puzzle.

"What is it, Apollo?" Zeus asked, his eyes narrowed curiously at his son.

Apollo opened his mouth again. "I…ah-… I'm not exactly _sure_…I…I don't really want to _commit_ on this one. It's… _hmm_…"

"_Apollo!_" Zeus snapped.

He nodded. "_Well_…From what I'm looking at I can only offer two possibilities. Either I'm looking at a ghost that's severely ticked off the holder of the title 'Greatest Cosplayer in History'… _or_…"

"Or, What?" Ares asked, oddly curious too.

"_Or…_ Two: Armani Dove has somehow survived, and has _somehow_ summoned a fictional character into being, and is now currently being chased through the woods by it." Apollo then leaned back again to regard the image, and in the process accidentally tugged his earphones free of the phone.

A familiar voice filled the room. "-nothing but a figment of my imagination! No, scratch that, you're a figment of somebody _else's_ imagination! You're a figment of a figment….Aagghh, _Damn it_! And stop _hissing_, it's creepy!"

The sound was cut off by a mechanical beep.

"_Please insert one Drachma for the next five minutes."_

Silence blanketed the halls of the gods; each god, goddess, mortal and fairy glanced at each other as if not sure what to say.

In the end, Apollo let out a sad sigh. "…It's two, isn't it?"

The other gods nodded almost pityingly in response.

Apollo's head fell forwards as he let out a tired breath. "If you'll excuse me for a moment…" at that he stood up, and vanished from the room in a blaze of flame.

There was another moment's silence. Finally Ares spoke. "What were we doing again?"

"The mortals," Zeus reminded them.

"Right, right. Wait… where did they go?" Ares blinked, looking about the empty floor.

Hermes sighed disinterestedly as he began filing his nails, "They wandered off when you weren't paying attention."

Ares glanced at the door and back. "Should we… Should we go after them or something?"

Hermes glanced up from his nails. "Want me to call security?"

Zeus eyed him. "We don't _have_ security."

"How come? I mean, I'm just _saying_… You'd think that'd be something we'd have. So why not?"

Zeus didn't reply.

"It's because we are GODS!"

Hermes rolled his eyes. "Oh, _shut up_, Ares."

-Ω-

Nico Di Angelo had been in a daze ever since the incident back in Miami. For a week his emotions over what had happened fluctuated wildly. He had watched a friend die right before his eyes.

But it didn't feel natural.

Nico could sense the passing of someone, the next stage of their existence; the underworld, beginning. But it hadn't been that way. Instead of that feeling of passing… there was simply nothing, just a soul that fell into darkness.

He had lost a friend, totally lost this time. There would be no visiting in the underworld, no communing, and no chances of reincarnation. Armani Dove was dead, in every sense of the phrase.

As he walked through the camp towards the forest his head would turn left and right as he watched detachedly whilst the other campers went about the sad duty of preparing for the ceremony. The Hephaestus campers were building the pyre. The Athena campers were working on the logistics and organization of the event. The Hunters had arrived earlier that day, and the usual animosity between camper and Hunter was nowhere to be found. There was just the shared pain of two groups of people who had both lost something.

The burial shroud was being prepared, both Hunters and the Apollo cabin were working on it, and like so many that had come before, there would be no body to accompany it.

It was sad that it took something like this to make the two groups cooperate on something.

But Nico Di Angelo knew he had his own duty to perform. There was one person who, after this whole week, still did not know of the passing of the son of Artemis.

Nico was the person who knew her best amongst the campers and so he had, somewhat numbly, agreed to it when the issue was brought up by Annabeth.

He stopped in front of a lone Spruce tree.

He didn't say anything; he wasn't sure _what_ to say. He would've laughed at the irony under other circumstances: The son of Hades didn't know how to talk about someone's death.

After a while a mop of brown hair suddenly stuck itself out from the bark. "How long are you going to stand there?" Lya demanded. "Do you know that no one's been to visit me all week? It's been weird." Lya peeled herself out of her tree and staggered to a halt, brushing herself down. "So, what's going on, Nico?"

Nico opened his mouth, but no words were coming out. "I uh- I ahh…"

Lya frowned , leaning in closer to Nico to scrutinize his face. "_What_? What's wrong, Nico?"

Nico swallowed, and took a shaky breath to steady himself. "_Armani_… I came to talk about Armani."

She frowned again. "I _know_… I haven't seen him all week, and he normally comes by every morning…I've been lonely."

Nico's breathing became labored as he fought to find the courage to get the words out. "Yes… You have to see… Armani is… He's…"

"Hmm?" Lya asked, and her ears suddenly twitched as she glanced off to the side, smiling. "Funny, it's almost as if I can hear him."

Nico felt his eyes moisten as he regarded the hopelessly innocent, clueless little Nymph, but he had to tell her, he owed her that much. "Lya, Armani is-"

Lya frowned, cupping her hand against her pointed ear. "You know, I think I _can_ hear him. I have very good ears, you know."

"Lya… _Please…_"

Lya was still listening in the distance. "He's not _saying_ much…Just '_aaaahhhhh!_'"

Nico frowned and decided try the blunt approach. "Lya, Armani's-"

Lya's eyes brightened as she looked past Nico, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Here he comes now!" she said and began jumping up and down, waving a hand. "Hiya!" she called out happily.

Nico frowned, as he did indeed hear a panicked cry trailing on the air, and he arched his head around.

His jaw nearly hit the floor.

Armani was bolting through the trees as fast as his legs could carry him, his aura a blinding white as he pulled out everything he had. Nico just stared with disbelieving eyes.

Armani's look of panic turned to a frown as he dug his heels into the earth and skidded to a halt, looking sidelong at a frowning Lya and a gaping Nico.

The Nymph put her hands on her hips. "And just where have you been?"

He looked at her, glancing fearfully over his shoulder. "Love to stop and chat, bit busy though. Long story short: Not dead, trapped in alternate universe. Back now. Being chased by sparkling vampire. Excuse me." And with that he shot off with a blur as he continued his run. A second later another blur shot past the two figures in pursuit of the first.

Lya scowled. "What was that all about? I don't know… I suppose I'll ask him later. Sorry, Nico, what were you saying?"

Nico just stared vacantly at the spot Armani had been occupying. "Nothing… Sorry to bother you."

Lya shrugged. "Well, have a nice day. Don't stay out there too long." At that the somewhat confused Nymph returned to her tree.

Nico stood there and, still staring unblinkingly, melted into the shadows of Lya's tree.

-Ω-

Nico emerged and walked in a daze towards Annabeth, who was discussing the upcoming ceremony with Clarisse and Thalia outside the Ares cabin.

He was looking back towards the forest as he patted Annabeth on the shoulder.

"Hm?" she mumbled, busy going over a clipboard with the two half-bloods.

Nico patted again.

"What?"

He patted twice more.

"_What_?" Annabeth snapped, turning about to see Nico. Her voice softened. "What is it, Nico?" She frowned as she noticed how spooked he looked, which was an odd thing for a child of Hades. A look of concern came over her features as she rested a hand on his shoulder. "Nico! Nico, what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, but then spoke, still staring blankly. "I think the funeral might be off…"

Annabeth frowned. "Nico, what are you talking about?" she asked softly.

Nico didn't respond, he simply turned sideways, raised a finger, and pointed towards the forest.

Annabeth narrowed her eyes and turned to look at where he was pointing.

And immediately her face turned as pale as Nico's.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

The voice shattered the solemn air about the camp, as every eye turned towards the form that had just erupted from the forest.

-Ω-

_They're not MOVING!_

My momentum coming out of the forest kept me going for a good distance, and as I saw Annabeth standing directly in my path I gritted my teeth and jumped clear over her head, heading for the arena.

I glanced back over my shoulder. "We have a _problem_!" I shouted, pointing at the vampire that had just shot out of the forest behind me and begun jumping clear across the cabin roofs in pursuit of me.

-Ω-

Thalia looked after Armani, along with the remaining campers and Hunters. She then looked back to the 'problem' he was indicating, and immediately caught sight of the figure pursuing him.

She managed to push disbelief to the side as survival instincts kicked in. She raised the hunting horn attached to her belt to her lips, and blew…

Annabeth turned about. "Heroes, to arms!"

The spell was broken and the amassed people immediately dropped everything they were doing. Dropping hammers in favor of axes and swords, chairs were tossed aside and bows snatched up.

-Ω-

I wasn't sure why I had chosen to head to Camp Half-blood, but I knew as soon as I realized I was relatively close to it that I simply _had_ to get there. I just hoped that I hadn't condemned my friends to a painful death with that decision.

I skidded to a halt in the middle of the arena. I could go no further. This was primarily due to the fact that Jane had leapt over the side wall and landed ahead of me, blocking my path, and now stood waiting.

I staggered, trying to catch my breath. I could normally run for days at a decent pace, but it wasn't like that this time. This time I was forced to go all out, and a bit more on top of that. I knew that in my current state there was no way I could endure a prolonged fight against her.

And then she smiled. "So much struggle… I wouldn't worry, though, it's almost over."

I looked up at her, gasping. "Y_eah?_ Tell me, Jane; do you like guinea pigs?"

She frowned. "Why?"

I snarled, "Come closer and _find out_!"

_Don't! I'm warning you; don't! If you even attempt that in your current condition you'll kill yourself!_

_There's no way I can beat her alone… There's nothing else… I'm sorry…_

_Don't be sorry, there's no need, because you're forgetting one thing._

Jane began closing in for the kill.

_And what's that?_

_That it was my idea to come here._

_I had a hunch it might be._

_And you're right: we can't beat her alone._

"Hey, Blondie!"

Jane paused and glanced past me, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Clarisse stood at the entrance to the arena; her spear twirling menacingly in one hand, her eyes turned to me. "So… alive, are you?"

I cocked my head. "At least for the next moment or so, yes."

"Hmm…We had a funeral prepared, you know?"

I sighed. "Funny, I'm always the last to know about these things."

Her eyes turned back to Jane. "And as for…Hang on…Don't I know you?" she asked, pointing her spear at the vampire.

Jane regarded her coldly. "I doubt it."

I returned my gaze to my opponent. "Her name is Jane, she's a-"

"Jane…as in the _vampire_ Jane?" Clarisse asked with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. "Well, yeah. As in…_Hang on_…How do you even know who _Jane the vampire_ is?"

Clarisse's eyes widened and she suddenly looked very nervous. "I… that is…" she stammered, glancing nervously left and right.

_Gods, don't tell me…_

She was saved from further embarrassment as nearly fifty campers and Hunters suddenly poured into the arena from both sides, forming a fully circular cordon around the fighting area. Hunters took up positions, arrows aimed into the centre at the lone vampire.

Jane backed up a step, glancing all about her. Most of the campers wouldn't know what was going on besides the fact that she was an enemy and an intruder, and that would be enough…

Jane returned her gaze to me, holding my eyes, and she smiled.

That's when the screaming started.

Jane gave the campers a sweep of her eyes and they all collapsed in agony under her power as she extended her will over them.

She cocked her head, smiling sweetly as agonized screams filled the air. All of them, campers and Hunters alike, had fallen.

I looked about in horror as Jane inhaled a breath, as if embracing the pain that filled the air around her.

_But that's impossible! She can't hurt _me…_why the others?_

Suddenly the answer dawned on me. I had assumed that vampiric powers didn't work on demigods; that wasn't it. So few people knew how to close their minds….

I knew I had to do _something_ to break her concentration. And so I charged her…

I leaped clear at her through the air in an attempt to tackle her down.

Her hand shot up, caught me out of the air by the throat and slammed me down into the dirt. She released me and used her foot to pin me down under her, looking into my eyes so I could truly see the pleasure in them as the orchestra of agony played out around her.

Suddenly her brow twitched, and she frowned at something. I looked back and saw what she did.

Clarisse was pushing herself up, teeth bared. Her hand was clenched so hard on her spear blood was streaming out. A flaming red aura was playing on her skin as she growled, fighting against the pain.

"Not… that… _easy_…" she growled as she leaned back with her spear raised.

Jane stood up and aimed her focus directly at the daughter of Ares. She screamed in response, and as she collapsed forwards, she hurled the crackling spear through the air at the vampire.

Jane's eyes widened. But at the last second she leaned back and snatched the spear out the air with both hands, her teeth gritted in strain.

She staggered a step and stomped back down on me, examining the spear.

She regarded the fallen daughter of Ares. "Impressive…" she said, sounding slightly less apathetic than usual. Then she flipped the spear up into one hand. "…and here's your reward for your hard work, "she said in a tone that was both sweet and chilling.

She threw the spear back…

_No!_

There was a streak of gold through the air and the spear suddenly exploded in a brilliant crackle of electricity.

The screams stopped and a dead silence filled the air, broken only by the sound of the spear's two halves of the clattering harmlessly to the floor.

It was then that I noticed something odd about Jane…

She was _sparkling,_ her hard skin glittering like gemstones. I frowned and glanced over at the dim light of the setting sun.

_That shouldn't be… its twilight, so why's the vampire sparkling?_

_Was that some kind of pun?_

I looked up at Jane, who was now scowling at something. "And you are?"

I followed her line of sight. And I swear, I was so relieved to see the person perched smugly on top of one of the columns that if I wasn't pinned to the ground, I would've kissed him.

Apollo jumped down to the floor, discarding his bow and materializing an elegant golden blade in his hand. He then replied, in a very bad imitation of a Spanish accent, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father…" he paused to twirl the blade once in his hand. "…Prepare to die."

Despite how happy I was, I couldn't help but groan, "Oh, _please_, Apollo. There's no way she's going to get that."

Jane cocked her head. "I've killed many people's fathers. I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific."

"See what I mean?" I said. "Went right over." Had I not been pinned down, I would've swept my hand back over my head.

Apollo's eyes swept the downed half-bloods, many of his own children still twitching in pain. He eyed Jane dangerously. "You've caused a lot of pain to my family today. I'm afraid I won't be going easy on you."

An instant later the confidence in Jane's eyes evaporated and she staggered back off of me.

I have the feeling that this was less to do with Apollo's threat, and far more to do with the twenty-foot-tall moon goddess that had just crashed to earth between them.

Yeah, it was probably that.

Artemis turned to face Jane, raised herself up to full height… and roared.

-Ω-

_To be continued…_

[A/N] And thus the redone version of this chapter comes to a close, hope you enjoyed it. I'll endeavor to get Chapter 5 up ASAP.

See you in Chapter 5: Artemis the Hunter.


	5. Chapter 5: Artemis the Hunter

[A/N] And thusly the final chapter, redone and remastered, is here. I thank you all for sticking with me thus far, for all your support and kind words, it means a lot to me. But enough from me, let's get the finale underway, shall we?

**A Boy Called Artemis**

**Chapter 5: Artemis the Hunter**

Yes, I had been _that_ desperate. As Jane's foot pinned me to the ground and the camper's screams filled the air, to my eternal shame, the following words had dared echo through the back of my mind:

_I wish Bella Swan was here..._

But thankfully, Apollo arrived, which was close enough.

And now the look of smug victory was nowhere to be seen on Jane's face, and if I didn't know any better I could've sworn that fear was now resonating in those crimson orbs.

Although when the Goddess of the Hunt is looming over you looking about ready to squash you like an ant, then I suppose that's understandable.

My mother's eyes swept the downed half-bloods, eying her Hunters with concern as they finally began to stir slightly.

"What in the name of..." Chiron stopped mid-sentence as he came to a halt in the arena, his eyes flicking about the incapacitated campers and Hunters.

He took a few hesitant steps back as my mother regarded him for a second.

I winced as I pushed myself up. "Hi, Chiron!" I called, waving. His eyes went wider as he recognized me. "Look, "I said half-dazed from the pain, pointing upwards. "My mom's here!"

He blinked. "I... I noticed."

I stood to full height, realizing some of my ribs had been cracked slightly when Jane stomped me down, and therefore I couldn't contain the gasp of pain that escaped me.

As I rubbed my chest I couldn't help but notice my mother's head had snapped around to me at the sound of that gasp. I looked slowly up to find her regarding me with wide eyes, an utterly unreadable expression on her face.

She slowly bent down, extending a hand towards me.

I opened my mouth, trying to smile reassuringly. "I'm okay, it's just a-"

That was when Jane chose to strike.

She leapt up onto my mother's back like a tiger attacking an elephant. Leaping between her shoulder blades, she pounced up and bit down into the base of her neck.

Artemis didn't react. Her eyes just regarded me in silence. She looked about ready to speak when her brow twitched ever so slightly, as if just feeling something.

Slowly, very slowly, she began to turn her head about.

I saw Jane look up and freeze as she found herself eye-to-eye with the goddess, who just looked at her, almost questioningly.

Jane let her bite loosen a second later, spitting out a mouthful of golden blood. "Disgusting..." she said with a snarl.

Artemis said nothing. She simply raised her right hand up slowly, bracing her index finger against her thumb. Jane's eyes widened as, a second too late, she realized what was coming. My mother flicked the vampire off her like an annoying bug with enough force to send her spinning to the ground, crashing into it with enough force to leave a four inch deep indentation.

My mother turned her attention away again to look at me. "Are you-" She didn't get another word out before Jane flipped herself up and, ignoring the goddess, bolted between her legs and leaped through the air right at me.

That got a reaction.

Time seemed to slow once again as my mother appeared to shimmer, and for a second she seemed to be in two places at once. One instant she was in her giant form looking at me, and the next she was back in her normal one tackling Jane sideways out of the air a heartbeat before she could land on me.

The pair rolled over several times, Jane ending up on top, her hands pinning the goddess down.

The vampire cocked her head, "You really are an inconvenience," she said calmly as my mother regarded her blankly. "I was about to begin my feast." She glanced at me and the fallen heroes strewn about her.

"Mother, I-"

"_Mother_?" Jane echoed, cutting me off with a sudden smile. "I wonder, "She mused, leaning closer to Artemis' face, "will I make you watch as I drain the life out of him? It really was a mistake to make yourself so small."

Suddenly my mother, still without any emotion, shot a single hand up and clamped it firmly around Jane's throat.

Jane's eyes widened in shock as my mother leaned back and began pushing herself up, holding the struggling vampire in one hand. Jane tensed as my mother's fist tightened, and she gave into what must've been a very seldom-used reflex; she gasped for air.

My mother lifted Jane up in front of her, regarding her coldly, face-to-face. "If you must know; I'm a Hunter, and so I really do prefer to look into the eyes of my prey before I slaughter them."

Jane struggled, her eyes wide, as Artemis' grip tightened again, her fingers digging into her throat. Black veins began spreading out across the surface of the vampire's neck as the goddess slowly brought her to breaking point.

Jane let out a cry and slammed her head forwards into my mother's. She didn't flinch. She repeated the motion once, twice, three times. A small rivulet of golden blood escaped the goddess' nose, but still she made no reaction. Artemis just held Jane, suspended, as she looked into the eyes of her enemy whilst choking the life from her.

Jane leaned right back and slammed her head forward once more with such force that her own forehead cracked slightly. My mother flinched somewhat and Jane used that instant to kick her rapidly three times in the chest. The goddess' grip faltered, although it didn't appear as though she cared.

Jane shook free, leaping back for safety. Skidding to a halt, her hand went to her damaged throat whilst she glared bloody murder at my mother.

Artemis merely brought a hand to her nose, brushing off some of the blood and regarding it for a second before returning her attention to Jane. Still she remained cold and composed. It was obvious why: at the moment she was on the Hunt, and Jane was her quarry. I also knew better than to get between my mother and her prey; it was rarely a smart thing to do.

Vampires may have been described as the ultimate predators, but they weren't gods.

There was something else about Artemis though, beneath that veil of composure and coldness, and I could _feel it_ in the air:

She was _angry_; so angry that she couldn't even express it externally. Both her child and her Hunters had been assaulted. The rage of the Goddess of Childbirth was barely being balanced out by the cold, furious composure of the Goddess of the Hunt.

Finally my mother spoke, her voice level and totally unemotional. "I'm going to kill you."

I saw Jane take a hesitant step back. It wasn't the threat itself, but the almost horrifying certainty of how she had said it.

That was because it wasn't a threat.

It was simply a statement of fact.

-Ω-

Artemis Fowl had gone missing. This was rarely a good thing. The reason being that without anyone to supervise him, the young mastermind had a terrible knack of getting himself into mortal danger.

"How could you just let him wander off?" Holly demanded as Juliet scanned the sprawling layout of marble columns that lay out before them.

"It wasn't my fault! I only turned by back for a split second." Juliet objected. "Oh, my brother's gonna kill me..."

"He's going to kill _us_," Holly corrected. "We'd best split up and go look for him. We can't let Artemis Fowl wander round a place like this unchecked."

Juliet just nodded and, without another word, bolted off down the steps into the throng of Olympus to search for the wandering Irish boy.

-Ω-

Artemis Fowl wasn't missing, as it turned out, because Artemis knew _exactly_ where he was and where he was going. He had only slipped away from Holly and Juliet because he thought it best that his _explorations_ were done without an objecting eye.

He eyed a building that was in the style of the main pantheon at the top of the mountain, only much smaller. His eyes traced the ancient Greek words carved into the stone above the entryway. _So; one of the temples of Artemis...This should be a good place to start._

Artemis entered cautiously. It wasn't exactly large. Obviously if the goddess herself were in attendance she'd be in her more human-sized form. The walls were decorated with elaborate and brightly-colored murals of famous hunts; dozens of different images portraying the acts of Artemis and her Hunters.

He walked towards the raised alter at the back of the room, his eyes flicking about at the stories played out on the walls. The hearth was unlit and the whole place appeared deserted. He glanced curiously around. The altar was pretty much bare with the exception of a golden fruit bowl and a withered plant.

There was also a brush leaning against it, as if someone had been in the middle of cleaning and just left it leaning there. Artemis also noticed there was a thin layer of dust coating the marble surface.

He frowned. Y_ou would think a goddess would have more efficient cleaning staff. How does dust gather on the mountain of the gods, I wonder?_

His eyes were then drawn to something else. Under a bronze dagger that was apparently being used as makeshift paperweight...was a note.

Artemis picked up the sheet of paper and regarded the Greek script that had been scribbled on it. His brow twitched as, written in ancient writing, were the words:

_Had to pop out for a bit; back in five. Other temples already clean._

_H_

_PS. Tell Zoe sorry; broke her comb whilst using it as door wedge._

Artemis frowned curiously. Obviously this 'H' had neglected to return. And considering the gathering of dust, Artemis herself must seldom return to this temple. He twirled the bronze dagger in thought and then continued onwards.

He walked around the altar and into one of the rooms at the back. There were several pairs of what appeared to be hunting gear hanging on a rail, each appeared similar to Armani's favored garbs in their basic functionality. He grabbed what appeared to be a rucksack that was laden with silver fabric. He shouldered the pack, turned about, and left.

-Ω-

Athena was not a happy goddess.

She understood that her daughter had to return to camp to help prepare for the ceremony, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about the fact that construction in the areas of Olympus being rebuilt was now behind schedule, and Athena hated being behind schedule.

She filled out Annabeth's acquisition orders for her, the clipboard morphing into an owl with the paper gripped in its talons. With a flutter of wings, it flew off out the front of the building towards the construction site on the other side of Olympus.

She regarded her own design on the large chalkboard that dominated the wall of the room with regret. She had been forced to pause her designing in order to pick up Annabeth's slack, and now the world was being deprived of her latest masterpiece.

It was only a hotel...

She scribbled an additional calculation down on the board beside it. She rubbed out a line with her sleeve and then redrew it, adjusting the angles of the top spire by a millionth of a degree using her stick of chalk. She nodded approvingly.

Her brow creased into a frown as she sensed something cross the threshold into her workshop.

"Who are you playing?" An unfamiliar voice suddenly asked.

Athena arched her head about to regard the boy in the white shirt and tie who was curiously looking at the chessboard set on the table by the entrance, its pieces laid out in mid-game.

Athena immediately returned to her chalkboard. "My daughter. Mortals should not be here, kindly leave."

The boy continued on as if not hearing the request. "Does she know that she's about to lose? Mate in six moves, if I'm not mistaken."

Athena returned her gaze to him. "_Five,_" she corrected.

He frowned at the chessboard. His mouth twitched into an amused smile a second later. "Ah, yes, I see. I stand corrected. That's _very _clever..." he said appreciatively.

"_Thank you,_" she said, and then pointed at the entryway with her stick of chalk. "Now, if you'd be so kind..."

"The best she can do now is force you into a stalemate position," he continued, again ignoring her.

Athena's thumb pierced through her stick of chalk, snapping it in two as she swung about. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, marching over to the board. Her eyes flicked over the pieces. "I'm afraid there's no rational way for that to happen."

He inclined his head. "You're thinking far _too _rationally..."

She scowled. "What other way is there?"

He smiled acceptingly. "But when you accept defeat is inevitable, one must go for the best option they have."

She raised an eyebrow. "carry on..."

He pointed at the board. "If I were to sacrifice your daughter's queen to take your bishop, then in three moves I could get my pawn to your end of the board, making it a queen, by which point your queen would be almost in position to check your daughter's king."

"I see where you are going, and you would have to sacrifice almost every piece you have in order to accomplish what you are aiming for."

Artemis nodded. "True."

"You would sacrifice all just to ensure a stalemate?"

"I will have taken your victory from you. That would be enough. My actions would have also seemed like a desperate attempt to do as much damage as possible before victory was yours. That is the key to all strategy: Always suspect there is more to your enemy's actions than they appear, for if you don't, you may not find out what they were _truly_ after until after the fact."

Her eyes traced the board. "Hmm..." she mused as the boy weaved about her and approached her chalkboard.

"Yes, that's very amusing. Now, I don't know how you gained access to Olympus, but-"

"Now _this_ is very impressive... " the boy said, cutting Athena off.

Athena sighed. "Thank you for that assessment; now if you'll kindly come away from there."

"Your equations are perfect; the angular layout of the internal structure is beautiful enough to be called a work of art in itself. A shame most people will be unable to see it for all its complexities."

She exhaled a breath, turning to grab a fresh piece of chalk. "Architecture is indeed an underappreciated art form. Now I've abided by your presence-"

"You can see where you went wrong, of course."

Athena froze dead.

"_What..._" she whispered, pausing to take a steadying breath, "are you talking about?"

He inclined his head at the board. "No, no, I'm sure it's fine. The laws of physics must operate in a way I'm unfamiliar with on Olympus."

She blinked at her drawing, glancing between it and the boy. "It's not designed for Olympus, not that it would matter."

The boy nodded. "I can see that. Right where it says _Conceptual design for hotel outside of Vegas_. Oh... and _Vegas_?""

She shook her head dismissively. "I was there recently. A hotel was damaged in a minor family dispute. I was considering tearing it down and rebuilding it."

"You were going to buy it out?"

"No, I was just going to tear it down. Now where is this error?"

"You must be unfamiliar with the terrain in the area. I, on the other hand, am not, having been responsible for the design of several hotels in and around Las Vegas myself."

Athena scowled. "Is that _so_? And what might your point be?"

"My _point_ is the issue with the consistency and strength of the earth in the desert. It presents several problems."

"What are you implying is wrong with my design then?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. It's fine, very beautiful as I said. It'll stand for a thousand years..." Athena nodded in agreement. "...Just so long as no one actually _stands_ in it… Or there's any minor seismic activity…Or any particularly strong gusts of wind. Then you'll have trouble, and more than likely a very painful lawsuit."

Athena had seized up in indignation.

The boy, not getting any response, turned back to the diagram. He swiped the chalk out of Athena's hand, and then did the one thing that no being had ever done in all of Athena's long years:

He began scribbling on her design.

His hand swept over the image, "Now what you _need_ _to do_ is underpin the foundations here, here and here," he snatched up some red chalk and began drawing vertical lines, "I'd reinforce the internal structure with selenium rods in these four points…" he then grabbed a bronze pointer from below the board, extended it and began pointing at the image, "And as you can see, the structural reinforcement will allow…" he paused to frown at Athena, "…What's wrong?"

The goddess was glaring furiously at him, her teeth gritted together, "Get… _out_!" she practically snarled.

The boy (who was seconds away from joining the population of Gorgon-ville) smartly backed up and, twirling the pointer like a conductor's baton, inclined his head apologetically, and then walked out.

Athena, fists clenched tightly at her sides, turned rigidly about to regard her board and, with a shout of anger, caused it to explode into a million pieces about her.

Hotels were never really her thing anyway…

-Ω-

Jane may not have stood a chance, but that didn't stop her from putting up one hell of a fight.

Both vampire and goddess fought so quickly they were a blur. Jane's robes, tattered from the wolves' attack, fluttered about her as she dueled with the goddess in hand to hand combat.

Artemis flipped backwards onto one hand, kicking one foot up and sending Jane skidding back. The vampire sprung sideways, running along the walls of the arena and vaulting herself into the air above the goddess. Artemis crossed her hands above her head to block the dropkick the vampire had thrown with enough force to push the Olympian three inches down into the dirt.

Jane bounced off my mother's hands, spinning around in midair, and then kicked Artemis in the chest hard enough to dislodge her from the ground and send her flying back fifteen feet through the air. She righted herself before she could hit the floor and landed on both feet, skidding to a halt.

She regarded Jane for a moment, and then charged.

Jane braced herself, but as my mother crossed half the distance between them, she leaped forwards, her form shimmering until she had taken on the form of a wolf, the most beautiful and terrifying specimen I had ever laid eyes on.

She leaped at Jane, whose eyes narrowed and a smirk played out across her lips, as she prepared to grapple the wolf.

This turned out to be a mistake.

Jane, not realizing this one might be at a slightly different level than the ones I had summoned earlier, screamed in pain as the wolf's teeth bit down into her upper arm and tore half of her bicep clean off with one fluidic movement.

Artemis' form shimmered as she landed crouched back in her human form. She regarded Jane coldly. She was grimacing, one hand clasped over her injury. The goddess spat out the hard flesh with distaste. "And you would call me disgusting?"

Jane returned the comment with an angry glare as venom bled out from the gaping tear in her upper arm.

She released it and, suddenly, the tear healed itself up. New pale flesh formed in its place until it appeared she didn't even have so much as a blemish on her skin.

I frowned. "High speed regeneration? Since when did she have _that _ability? And come to think of it, since when could she use her powers on more than one person at a time? I know her brother could perform mass sensory deprivation—and I could have gone my whole life without knowing that, by the way!" I shot at Apollo—"but I thought Jane's psychic power was limited to one mind at a time."

"Hey!" Apollo shouted from the sidelines. "That's cheating!"

A bad feeling came over me as a disturbing possibility occurred. "She's a nightmare… She's as bad as my imagination could have made her."

Apollo turned his attention to me. "What do you mean a _nightmare_?"

Artemis and Jane had paused and were regarding us as we spoke. I warily eyed the vampire as I replied, "She was summoned by some kind of messed-up transdimensional spell that tapped into my memory and made her solid. She's actually based on a nightmare I had of her, and I get the feeling that I may have made her slightly more powerful than she was in canon."

_As if they weren't overpowered enough…_

Apollo cocked his head. "A personified thought… Could've been worse, I guess; you could've summoned the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man."

"Apollo, I give up, I really do…"

"What'd I say?"

I looked at the vampire. "Well, this is just _spiffing_..."

"I will be with you momentarily, "Jane said politely. "Please be-" Jane didn't get another word in as, with a blur, my mother crossed the distance between them, shot a hand out, and impaled the vampire through the chest right up to the wrist.

Jane's mouth was open in an attempt to scream as she looked down at the small goddess who now held her in the air with her hand embedded in her chest.

Artemis didn't meet her eyes as she spoke in a quiet tone, but I could see the dark look in the eyes of the goddess. "_Enough_…" she finally said, turning to look the impaled vampire in the eye. "Tell me, _Jane_, do you know what happens in the end when a child has a nightmare?"

Jane couldn't respond.

"His mother wakes him up," the wound in the vampire's chest began to pulse with white light, "and the nightmare disappears." The light began spreading across her torso as Artemis turned her gaze on the vampire. "..._Be_ _gone_."

Jane finally let out a scream, as her skin, pores and eyes began to glow from within with blinding white light.

"Look away!" Apollo barked, and I had a millisecond to avert my eyes before the form of Jane was blasted into atoms in a brilliant flash of divine white light.

I looked back as my mother's still slightly glowing hand returned to normal.

It was over...

-Ω-

Artemis fowl stood, tapping his foot ponderingly whilst regarding Hermes, who was busy scribbling on a clipboard. He withdrew a somewhat damp notebook from his pocket and approached the god.

Hermes didn't bother to look up. "Ahh, the young mister Artemis..."

He inclined his head curtly in response. "Yes, Lord Hermes. May I have a moment of your time?"

He shrugged. "Shoot."

"I know this may sound impertinent, but may I borrow a pen? I appear to have misplaced mine."

The god reached into his breast pocket, his pen continuing to write on its own as he did so. He handed the gold-coated writing implement to the boy and went back to his writing.

Artemis pressed the golden click-top pen and began writing in his notebook. He'd pause, as if displeased, tear out a page and start again.

"So how'd you kids come to be here?" Hermes asked.

"Transdimensional spell... We have a time-delayed one prepared for a little over twenty-four hours from now to get us back. Unfortunately, there is a particular item I need to take back with me, and it's currently located in the pocket of the erstwhile Armani Dove. I shall have to recover it soon."

"Hopping dimensions, huh? Dangerous stuff for mortals, downright impossible for a god; we're too well integrated, if you follow."

Artemis nodded in acknowledgement, and then nodded again in satisfaction as he finished his note. Artemis tore the page free and folded it in half, then frowned. "Do you have an envelope I can borrow?"

Hermes glanced up. "What do I look like to you, mortal? A post office?"

"You're the god of thieves, travelers and messengers. I would've thought the request would have been less than nothing to you."

He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Immediately a pristine white envelope formed itself around the note and sealed itself.

Artemis blinked. "Impressive..." he commented, writing a name on the white surface and returning the pen in his hand to Hermes, who snatched it back without looking and slid it back into his pocket.

"You should see what I can do with parcel post. Now is there anything else? Or have you quite finished pestering me?"

Artemis went silent as if thinking on how to phrase his request. "Just one thing before I depart..."

Hermes took his pen away and rolled his eyes full circle. "_What?_" he demanded, then noticed Artemis holding the envelope out towards him.

The messenger god took it and regarded the name with a raised eyebrow, he turned his eye to the raven-haired boy and extended a hand. "Come on then, I don't do freepost, kid."

Artemis shook his head. "I'm not asking you to deliver it, my lord. I merely ask you look after it and, should you happen to run into the recipient, simply to pass it on."

Hermes sighed and then shoved the note into his back pocket. "I really am too kind. Now buzz off, before I change my mind."

Artemis bowed. "You have my thanks, Lord Hermes."

He merely nodded drearily in response and waved the boy off, who in turn turned and walked off.

Artemis sighted Juliet and Holly scouring the area for him further down Olympus. He decided to rejoin them, stopping off only once by a statue of Zeus that caught his eye before returning to his friends.

-Ω-

Holly scowled. "And just where under the earth have you been?"

"My apologies, Holly, I'm afraid I started sightseeing and got a little distracted."

"Yeah, well, I'm glad you're back. These freaky Greek folks keep hitting on us. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep asking us to have kids with them," Juliet said, shuddering at the memory.

Artemis sighed. "Those 'Greek folks' would be minor gods. I would mind your mouth, Juliet."

She nodded sheepishly, and then caught sight of something odd. "Hey, Artemis, what's up with the bag?"

Artemis glanced at the bag hanging from his shoulder and back. "What, this? I just found it hanging up and abandoned in the open. I thought it would make a nice souvenir."

Holly's ear twitched. There was something she didn't like about the nonchalant way Artemis was talking; something she couldn't put her finger on, but unlike a certain demigod, Holly Short was not the sort to ignore her instincts. "Found it, huh?" Artemis nodded. "Souvenir, you say?" He inclined his head.

"Problem, Holly?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Open it."

Artemis frowned. "Why?"

Holly smiled sweetly. "No reason. I'm just asking you nicely to show me what's inside."

Artemis was silent for a moment, and then smiled. "But of course..."

He slid the bag from his shoulder, released the clips, and flipped the top open. Holly looked into the black-lined interior, which seemed to glisten with silver sparkles.

It was empty.

"Fine stitching, no?" He asked with a pleasant smile.

Holly frowned at the darkness, shook her head and stood back. She _knew_ he was up to something, but she just couldn't figure out what it was. Unfortunately, she was dealing with Artemis Fowl, which meant she probably wouldn't find out what it was until he chose to tell her outright.

She heaved a tired sigh. "Whatever… How long do we have to find Armani?"

Artemis glanced off to the side. "The time limit on the spell was forty-eight hours, and we've used up about five of them. So we've got at least thirty-nine hours left."

Holly glanced at her moonometer and frowned. "I make it four hours… that would mean fourty-four hours left, Artemis. Besides, fourty-eight minus five is fourty…" Holly froze as she noticed her friend's face twitch ever-so slightly at a mention of a certain word whilst she spoke. A look of genuine concern appeared on her elfin features. _Oh, please, don't tell me._ "Artemis…" she said, touching his hand, "…Tell me; what's twelve divided by three?"

He turned to regard her as if it were the most preposterous question he'd ever been asked. As he met her eyes, his mind stalled. "F-…" he started, but found it hard to finish. _Death… the answer is death… Tell her a better answer_! "Five…" He immediately clenched his eyes closed in frustration, brining a hand to his head. "N-no… It's f-f…"

Holly cupped his hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly. "It's okay, Artemis, you don't have to answer it. We'll get you back soon, then we can give you a shot of your medication and you'll be fine."

He took a long, deep breath, and exhaled. "Of course… It's okay, Holly. I am myself again…" He fell silent for a moment. "It's started again though, hasn't it?"

She didn't say anything; he knew the answer as well as she, and for a second she saw the fragile young boy in him, terrified of his rebelling mind. She just nodded mutely.

He sighed. "It's still in the early part of the first stage. The later symptoms; paranoia, obsessive compulsion and so on should not set in for a few days. So long as we get back in time and I take my medication, we should be able to push the symptoms back before I am forced to resort to allowing…_him…_ to take over in order to regress my symptoms back to stage one."

Holly nodded understandingly and, despite his renewed composure, she couldn't help but notice how hard he was gripping her hand. She didn't complain.

-Ω-

There were pained murmurs as the Hunters and demigods began to come around. I brushed some Jane-dust from my clothes with disgust and breathed a sigh. My mother was still standing with her hand outstretched, a look of thought on her features.

_How best to approach this one?_

I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off as my mother shot over to me with a blur and, grabbing my by the scruff of my shirt, hoisted me over her shoulder. Suddenly the ground disappeared from under us.

I would've objected had I not been so choked with shock. She leapt over the arena wall and then half-way to the forest in one jump. She continued running as soon as she landed. The world around us was a silver blur for a good ten seconds before we skidded to a halt with a jolt. Using the same momentum she swung me down from her shoulder, still gripping my shirt, turned about and slammed me up against a tree trunk.

"…_Ouch._"

She released me and took a step back, an unreadable look on her face.

I brushed myself down again and looked back up at her. She still hadn't said a word. "Well… I suppose I should-"

Again she cut me off, and this time I couldn't hope to have dodged her hand as she swung it up and struck me across the cheek with it, sending my hurtling to the floor.

"_Okay_…" I groaned, cupping said cheek.

_That's three teeth in one day_.

"…I suppose I had that coming and…Wait…Hang on a tic…no I didn't! Just what in Hades was _that _for?" I gaped, pushing myself incredulously to my feet. "No 'nice to see you, Armani', 'Thanks for saving the universe, Armani', 'Its good you weren't wiped out of existence, Armani'. _No_ with you it's always…" I trailed off as I finally looked at her again. Her eyes had become moist and she seemed to be shaking slightly.

"I'm so angry with you right now…" she said in a horse whisper. "Do you understand how I feel?"

I averted my eyes. "Yes, mother…"

"I watched you die. I felt you be ripped away from me right before my eyes…" her voice was breaking slightly. "I was in so much pain…"

"I know… I'm so sorry."

"You're alive?" She asked in a small voice after a moment's silence.

"Apparently. Thanks to your timely intervention I-" Again, I was cut off as she jerked me forward into her arms and gripped me tightly to her. And then she was crying again…

I looked down solemnly as she wept. "I'm sorry, mother. It seems I always end up making you sad in the end…"

She looked up at me with wet eyes as her hand touched my still-stinging cheek. She pressed two fingers gently against the side of my face and, surprisingly, all she came out with was, "You're missing teeth…"

"Three by my count. Give me some ambrosia and I'll be –_RIBS, MOTHER, RIBS!"_ I half-squealed as the arm she had gripping me tightened painfully to the point I felt something start to crack.

She slackened her grip, but didn't let me go. "Why do I feel that if I let you go, you'll just vanish again?" she asked as she rested the side of her head against my chest, and I somehow knew she was listening to my heart, as if trying to convince herself I was really alive.

I dared to hug her back again. "If I do, I promise I'll always keep coming back. I stole the crown jewels, crossed time and space, and got chased by a most irritating vampire, and still I came running home…"

"You stole what now?"

I dodged the question by simply hugging her small form tighter. "I missed you too…"

She smiled her small smile, and nodded once."Your ability to get into trouble is matched only by your skill of evading my questions."

"Did it work this time?"

"…Just."

I smiled. "Shall we get back? I think the others will like an explanation."

She nodded and pulled away from me, and followed close to me as we walked back to the camp.

"Mother?"

"Yes?"

"Were you at Olympus recently?"

"Yes, why?"

"I don't suppose you've happened across an Irishman, a blonde girl and an Elf while you were there."

"I did, why?"

"Oh, no reason…"

"I see…"

"Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever hear the one about when an Elf, a blonde, and an Irishman walked into a bar on Olympus?"

"I have not."

"Would you like to?"

"…No."

"Didn't think so…"

-Ω-

"So there you are…" Apollo called as we reentered the Arena. He and Chiron had apparently been in the progress of explaining what had just transpired.

Silence descended as I regarded the sun god. "Hello, uncle. Nice entrance by the way. Very nick of time, if I may say."

He smiled. "Well… I'm nothing if not punctual."

I breathed out a sigh as I felt the uncomfortable silence that blanketed the area. I rolled my eyes in frustration. "_Yes,_" I shouted tiredly, "Not dead, deal with it, folks. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some nectar…I'm missing two incisors and a molar, and I'd like them back." And with that I left the amassed Hunters and campers to dwell in silence.

-Ω-

I slumped down in cabin eight with my eyes closed, happy they hadn't gotten round to removing my bed yet at least. I swigged down the bottle of nectar I had retrieved, pausing to marvel as I felt the teeth restore themselves in my mouth. I clicked my tongue. "Hmm, not bad…"

I smiled tiredly. I didn't hear her come in, and she had once again concealed herself from me, but somehow I knew she was there. "Hello, mother. Is there something I can do for you?"

I opened my eyes to find her leaning against the doorframe, her eyes trained on the window. "I wish to first apologize for my emotional tirade earlier. I am…not _used_ to these feelings, and I'm afraid it seems they got the better of me."

I waved it off. "Teeth are good as new, don't worry about it."

"Are you not going to rejoin the campers and your fellow Hunters? I'm sure most will be delighted to see you."

I sighed. "I'm really not one for hero's welcomes; I'd much rather let them dwell in silence until the shock wears off."

She nodded thoughtfully. "She was quite distraught when she heard the news."

I didn't answer for a moment; it was painfully obvious who she was talking about, but still. "Who was?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at me. "Careful, Armani. I may be elated to see that you live, my child, but I will not allow even you to try my patience."

"…I'll apologize later. I'd rather not talk to her amongst the others. I'm sure you can understand."

Her expression didn't change, as if judging how to react. "I do."

"Yeah…Was afraid you might."

"You were right."

I blinked. "Mother?"

"You said that I once fell in love with a hunter too…"

"And?"

"And I must judge how this situation differs, if at all, from a case where one of my Hunters succumbs to love."

"You mean _if_ something happens."

She didn't respond for a moment. "This situation is difficult to handle without being hypocritical."

"You're a goddess; I suppose you can be hypocritical if you choose."

She raised a single eyebrow. "I suppose I shall just have to see how the situation resolves itself. Although the rules are there for a reason; Hunters do not fall in love, for tragedy will always befall them if they do."

Another silence descended. "It's not fair," I said quietly.

Her eyes went distant. "No… It's not." Somehow, I knew she was talking from personal experience, and I also knew those were another three of her words I would never repeat.

"What's going on outside?"

"Apollo is returning to Olympus. He was prattling on about chasing the skirts of two mortals; I wasn't paying any real attention to him. I was only there to make sure he didn't flirt with my Hunters."

I had a good feeling about who the two mortals were, and that raised another good point. "Mother, I need to go to Olympus."

She cocked her head. "Why?"

I slid my hand into my pocket and pulled out an object. "This is why." I said, and held up the Cullinan Diamond. It sparkled wonderfully even in the dim light of the cabin.

She frowned curiously and took the diamond, examining it. "Where did you get this?"

"I…sort of borrowed it, from the British royal family."

Her eyebrow went back up. "'_Borrowed'_?"

"Without asking…for a bit"

Her grip tightened about the stone as she scowled disapprovingly. "You stole it?"

"Hey, we're going to give it back! I just needed it as a catalyst to get back into this universe."

Her frown melted. "_Oh_…in that case, I suppose I shall forgive you, but remember; we are Hunters, not thieves."

I nodded. "I couldn't agree more, which is why I need to get back to Olympus within the next day or so."

"Why the next day or so?"

"Because if I don't, my three friends who helped me back here will be returning without it, and it may cause quite a stir when it turns up missing. We've got quite a good replica standing in at the moment."

She nodded and tossed the stone back. "Yes, that's another thing. The boy…"

I frowned. "Which boy?"

She frowned right back. "The mortal."

"_Oh_, you mean Ar— ahh…young Master Fowl. What about him?"

Her frown turned back into that scowl again. "Tell me his name."

"Umm… Arty?" Her eyes flashed with dangerous silver light. "Artemis Fowl…The Second," I corrected quickly.

She glanced away. "He spoke truth…"

"Oh, so he told you, did he?"

"Why does a boy bear my name?" she demanded.

I raised my hands defensively. "Whoa, why are you asking as if it's _my _fault? He's not even from this universe, so why do you care?"

She shook her head. "I find that odd that his parents would ridicule-"

"-Ahh, if I may…" I cut in, raising a finger. "Technically it would be his _grandparents._ He's Artemis Fowl the Second. He's named after his father, if that helps at all…"

It didn't.

"_Two of them?_" she said, and she almost seemed to waver on her feet.

I shrugged. "Apparently, its tradition where he comes from. In Ireland it's been known for those who are great hunters to earn the name."

That seemed to calm her very slightly. "I see… So the boy is a great hunter, is he? His skill on the hunt and with the bow must be great."

"_Well… _It depends on your definition of _hunter_." I said carefully.

"Meaning?"

"I think I'll just stop there, there's no answer I could possibly say that wouldn't make you mad, so I'm pleading the fifth from here on out."

She sighed. "You really are insolent at times…"

"And yet you love me for it."

She let out a pained groan. "I suppose I shall have to think on how to react to this revelation."

"I'm only here because of him," I said suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"Artemis, that is Artemis Fowl, thought up the entire plan and worked the whole thing out to get me home. Without him, I'm sure I'd still be alone and stranded in another world."

She went silent. "I sensed something of the sort…Though I must say; even as a weasel he was infuriating."

"You turned him into a _weasel_?" I gaped.

She shrugged. "Worry not, I turned him back again."

"_Oh_… That was…compassionate of you."

Her brow twitched. "He… said something _upsetting_, something I had not considered up until now."

"Oh, and what did he say?"

"He…gave me a perspective I was unable to see up until recently, and I would rather not repeat it."

"As you wish."

"I will take you to Olympus tomorrow. You may meet up with your friends then, but for tonight you will sleep here."

I opened my mouth to object and she shot me a look. "That wasn't a request, was it?"

"It was not."

-Ω-

The nectar had given me a buzz, but the day's events eventually caught up with me, and I awoke to darkness. I looked up out of the window at the moon's position.

_Middle of the night… I'm never getting back to sleep now._

I regarded the cabin around me. The beds were mostly occupied by sleeping Hunters. I felt a grateful smile spread across my face that they had chosen to leave me in peace. My mother was nowhere to be seen.

I slid silently out of bed and slinked out into the night air.

-Ω-

I inhaled a deep breath as I emerged into the peaceful moonlight.

It really was good to be home.

The camp was silent, with the exception of a few cleaners slinking about in the shadows and a councilor or two patrolling.

I quickly reached into my bag and retrieved the councilor's badge that Chiron had given me once. Since the centaur hadn't actually asked for it back, I just assumed it was okay to continue using it.

The night was always ripe with possibilities for a Hunter. My eyes trailed to the forest. I decided against a quick hunt; for now I just wanted some peace and quiet.

As I approached the lake and dropped down, I sensed something moving behind me. On reflex, my hand drifted to where my sword would normally be, where of course it wasn't. I pushed aside the instinct, as I immediately realized the only reason I could sense someone approaching was if they were someone I _could_ sense.

Nights like these were the worst for a Hunter who works on scent; no upwind or downwind to carry your quarry's smell.

I glanced out of my peripheral at the shadow that the moonlight cast on the ground by me as the figure stood in silence. I didn't need to recognize the outline, since I could already see her reflection in the shimmering waters.

"Good evening, Aren. Is there something I can do for you?"

She didn't respond, but she did take a hesitant few steps closer until she was standing just a few inches behind me.

She was too close again. I could smell her ever-present scent of apple and lotus blossom, and I could feel her body heat radiating from her at this distance. Any closer and I'd probably be able to hear her heartbeat.

I watched her shadow as she slowly raised her hand up and, carefully, rested it on my upper back.

_What am I supposed to say?_

Surprisingly though, it was Aren who broke the silence.

"My parents died, you know…" she suddenly said in a small voice.

I didn't know how to respond to the sudden statement. I had to assume she didn't mean of natural causes as, due to her age, and how old they'd be by now, it'd be fairly obvious.

Her hand gripped the back of my tunic slightly. She still hadn't moved, and I still hadn't turned around.

She spoke again, and very subtly, I could hear the barest hint of an Irish accent surface as she spoke. "We'd been in New York for less than six months. It was my fourteenth birthday… I wasn't even _there_ when it happened. Daddy had sent me to get some shopping. Six eggs, two pints of milk and a pound of sugar… funny… the things you remember.

"I was late back. I'd been caught in a rainstorm and didn't want the dress my mother had made me to get wet." She went silent again, as if remembering. I wasn't sure why she was telling me this, but I somehow felt I had to listen. "It turned out Daddy owed money to some…_men_. _Protection money, _they called it. He owed a lot… but he wasn't easily frightened, and he made an enemy of them. While I was out they broke into our home. When I got back, I found my father... He'd been beaten to death. And my mother… she'd been…" her voice broke for a second and she took a shuddering breath. "…Well… she was gone too. The men were still there, though, and then they came for me. And so I ran back out into the cold…I don't know how long, I ran barefoot until my feet bled. I remember finally collapsing in a forest, darkness closing in… And then she found me. Lady Artemis saved me… I've been with her and my sisters ever since."

I went silent for a moment. "I'm sorry…"

She shook her head. "It's okay… But you're probably wondering why I told you all that, right?"

I inclined my head. "It did cross my mind."

She spoke again. "It's because, it seems that in my life, every time I turn around…when I look back again it always seems someone's gone away…" Her voice quivered again slightly. "And I thought you should know… That you're the first one to ever come back to me again, and I just wanted you to know how much that means to me," she finished in a whisper.

I stared out over the lake, and nodded once, reaching back to briefly cover her hand with mine.

A moment later, her hand slid from my back, and she turned and walked away. "Sweet dreams, Aren."

She paused for a second, as if searching for something to say, and then kept on walking.

I sat in silence for a moment, dwelling on her. Then a cold voice drifted over the silence.

"Aww…you didn't even kiss her, but still, that was very sweet…"

I bolted to up to my feet, whipping around as Eris emerged from the shadows of a large oak.

I glared at her as she regarded me with those eyes that glistened like stygian steel in the night.

She cocked her head. "What? No angry '_Eris!' _or '_what do you want, Eris?'_"

I narrowed my glare at her. "There's no point in asking. You always end up talking my ear off with your seemingly endless bragging, anyways."

I felt a force suddenly constrict itself slightly about my throat as Eris' smile turned cold. "Don't push me, my precious Armani."

The grip relaxed and I rubbed my throat slightly. "Alright, then…What now, Eris? That work for you?"

Her brow twitched. "You really are starting to lose your appeal, you know. It's just as well we're almost done. A shame, really; I was honestly considering having my next demigod with you."

I resisted the urge to blanch as I took a step back. "No offence, but assuming I have a type, I can assure you that you wouldn't be it. Narcissistic psychopaths aren't my thing. "

"I'm pained you'd say that. But for once, believe it or not-"

"I'm going with _not_ in advance, but carry on."

"Believe it or _not_, for once I'm here with nothing but good tidings."

"Yup… I find myself believing it not. But like Alice, I always try to believe at least six impossible things before breakfast, so why don't you go right ahead. "

"Anyone ever tell you you're cute when you're upset?"

I gritted my teeth, "What do you want, Eris?"

She smiled widely. "There we go, that's much better!"

I rolled my eyes. "Please, just get on with it."

She sighed. "As you wish. I thought it best I come present you with your reward, even though it technically wasn't _you_ who defeated the manifestation."

"Like I said, you have absolutely nothing I could possibly want."

A ghost of a smile played on her lips. "You shouldn't make such assumptions of a goddess. I have something you may want very much."

I frowned. "And what might that be?"

"Information."

I cocked an eyebrow. "_Information?_ Would you care to elaborate on that?"

She drummed a manicured nail on her chin. "Hmm, alright then… Come closer and I'll whisper the secret to you."

I didn't budge. "You honestly believe I'm coming within arm's length of you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, I could kill you from here without moving if I wanted. _Now_…" she beckoned me closer with her index finger.

I rolled my eyes and approached her, halting a foot away from the goddess. "Well?"

She leaned slowly towards my ear and then, unexpectedly, her other hand came up and grasped my chin, tilting it sideways, and she pressed her lips against mine.

My eyes widened in shock, and I tried to shove her away, but was rooted to the spot. Her cold lips played against mine for a moment as her hand ran through my hair.

Suddenly I was free, and I staggered away from her so abruptly I tripped backwards. I landed heavily, glaring up her in full-blown fury. "What in _Tartarus_ do you think you are doing?"

She just smiled that infuriating smile of hers. "I may have chosen not to have a child with you, but I couldn't resist one last taste of your chaos before our game concludes. Plus I left you with a little something to remember me by. You really _do_ have such a sweet taste."

I had to focus to keep my anger from boiling over and making me attack the goddess. Her kiss hadn't affected me like Aphrodite's had; instead, it had left a strange swirling cold sensation inside me that wasn't fading. "So. Another lie, was it?" I snarled, breathing deeply to bolster my restraint, trying to ignore the icy chill in my core.

She shook her head, each strand of her jet black hair swaying in different directions. "No, I was telling the truth, but I've had my fun, so I'll just be out with it. You see, Armani, what you don't realize is, when you-" Suddenly her eyes widened and she leaped to the side, just as a silver arrow embedded itself in the trunk of the tree where her head had been an instant earlier.

Eris rolled to the side as another silver bolt hit the spot where she had been laying.

"Shouldn't you have seen that coming, Eris?" A cold voice enquired.

Artemis stood, her bow drawn and two more arrows aimed at where Eris was now crouched.

Eris glared at her, suddenly seeming too angry to speak.

My mother was peeved and I could see it, but her glare was still cold. "We've been waiting for you to get cocky enough to reveal yourself. Lord Zeus has ordered your immediate apprehension."

Eris gritted her teeth, and suddenly a crackle of thunder echoed through the night. She looked up, and there was a note of true fear in her eyes as storm clouds began to rapidly gather in the skies above the camp.

Her body was beginning to shimmer with divine light when a lance of lighting shot down from above. It grazed Eris and sent her staggering back, her form solid once more.

Another bolt struck her from the other side. "No!" She cried out in rage as more bolts of lightning struck about her, the blue light entwining itself around the goddess. She let out one last cry as the light engulfed her and I was forced to look away as she vanished from sight.

The clouds cleared immediately and calm filled the now heavily ozone-scented air.

I regarded the scorched spot where Eris had been. I turned to my mother. "W-what happened?"

Artemis' bow vanished. "She has been taken back to Olympus to account for her actions. Both you and I will need to be present when this occurs, as witnesses to the events."

I nodded. "I was heading that way anyways, but may I ask you just one question?"

"Of course."

"Couldn't you have waited just a _moment_ more before you shot her with that arrow?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "You believed she actually had something of value to say to you?"

I frowned. "I suppose not, but then couldn't you have done something to stop her playing tonsil hockey with me?" I asked, my hand gripping my chest.

She shook her head. "She was too highly on guard at that moment. Eris is extremely elusive. She is only at her most vulnerable when she is confident everything is going her way."

"Like when she's doing one of the big reveals she seems so fond of."

She inclined her head. "Something like that."

"Makes sense: chaos being most open when trying to explain the order in itself."

"It is somewhat ironic." She turned and approached me. "Are you alright?"

I looked down at my chest. "I think so. Just made me feel… _cold_ inside."

I flinched as her small hand suddenly rested itself on top of my own. "Relax…"she whispered, and a strange white glow began spreading across me. My aura flared brightly as it mixed with the light.

_Don't fight me, Armani. You don't have to do that, not anymore…_

I gasped at the sound of my mother's soothing voice inside my head, like a whispering melody coursing through my heart. The cold sensation began to abate in my chest, replaced by a warm calm, and I found myself wavering on my feet. My eyes became heavy for some reason.

_Relax… Sleep now. All will be well when you wake._

I was only numbly aware of losing consciousness as I slumped forwards. The last thing I remembered was a small pair of arms coming up to catch me before I fell.

-Ω-

It was light when next I opened my eyes. There was a lot of activity in the cabin.

The Hunters were busy gathering their belongings, obviously in preparation for leaving.

I yawned, stretching. The act attracted the attention of the others.

"Ahh, so the dead man awakens…" Thalia said. "We thought you were going to sleep all day. Come on, get up. Lady Artemis is waiting for us. We're going straight to Olympus."

I rubbed my chest; both the warm and cold feelings had subsided. Regardless of whatever it was that had been done, I was obviously back to normal now.

Thalia swung her bag over her shoulder and opened the door. "We're gathering by the pine. I'll see you there. _Oh_…" She paused. "…and it's good you're okay." Silence seemed to fill the cabin at her words, as if the others also wanted to say something, but were unsure how to phrase it. A few simply nodded with a smile and went back to what they were doing.

I inclined my head. "Thank you all. I'll see you up there in a bit, Thalia."

She nodded, and then vanished out the door with two other Hunters.

-Ω-

The others were already gone by the time I was ready. Well…_mostly_ gone.

I turned to find Aren sitting on the edge of her bed, her bag slung over her shoulders and her fingers intertwined on her lap.

"It's time to go," I said.

"Y-yeah."

I frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"Did you mean it?" she asked suddenly in her usual firm voice.

I blinked. "Did I mean what?"

"You said it accidentally, but did you mean it when you said you loved me?" she demanded in a tone that was odd for such a touchysubject.

I didn't answer her for a moment, just regarded her as she burned into me with those fiery green eyes. "…Yes," I replied evenly.

She stood up and nodded. "I see. I was just making sure. I love you too. Now, don't fall behind, Lady Artemis is waiting." At that she swung her bag over her shoulder and exited, leaving me staring at the spot she had just occupied.

I looked up bewilderedly at the empty cabin around me. "Someone want to explain to me what just happened?" I asked, but unfortunately the wooden walls had little to say in response.

I groaned and grabbed my bag and left the cabin. I slammed the door behind me, muttering, "Honestly…"

_I'll never understand that girl._

_Never would've happened if you'd listened to me more._

_Oh, shut up…_

-Ω-

I was intercepted by Nico on the way past the Big House. He fell into step beside me, not saying anything for a moment. "So…Alive then, huh?"

I shrugged. "I know. _Dreadful_, isn't it?"

He smiled slightly, seeming not to know what to say. "Will was upset you slept most of yesterday; we turned your wake into a mini-celebration. You should've turned up."

I sighed. "Missed my own funeral, and then the wake too…I really need to work on my punctuality."

As the Hunters came into view, Nico paused. "I wouldn't worry about it; you always seem to turn up in the end. I'll leave you be. I've been avoiding the Hunters as much as I can. They've been okay for the past couple of days, y'know, because of thinking you were dead and all, but I think its best I keep my distance."

"Why's that?"

"Well, for one, they're Hunters, 'nuff said. For two…well, apparently some of them are upset with me for some reason. Can't fathom why…"

"I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that the last time you saw them, you called them damsels in distress, had a laugh at their expense, and then vanished."

"Oh yeah… forgot about that. I'd best be off." At that, he swung about and marched quite swiftly in the opposite direction.

_Good to see you too, Nico,_ I thought with a smile, and carried on walking towards the others.

-Ω-

My mother was standing waiting in her chariot. "Good morning, Armani. Glad you chose to join us."

I shrugged. "Sorry, got a little held up on the way here."

She turned and grabbed the reigns. "Armani and Thalia, I want you to accompany me to Olympus by air; there is business we must attend to swiftly. Everyone else I expect to see there by the end of the day."

The group nodded their understanding as I climbed aboard with the daughter of Zeus.

"So, Thalia…"

"What?" she asked, and I couldn't help but notice she was gripping the side hard enough to turn her knuckles white.

"How's that fear of heights?"

She flinched. "Be quie-AAHHH!" she finished in a panicked cry as my mother, somewhat abruptly, took us to the skies.

Thalia gasped for air, both hands holding on and eyes glued to the chariot floor.

_Well, that was an undignified takeoff…_

"It's perfectly safe," I said. "Look, no g-force or anything."

She nodded, her face sweating. "Yes, thank you for the reassurance, but I'm perfectly fine."

I shrugged. "If you say so."

"Is there a problem, Thalia?" Artemis asked.

She shook her head, smiling unconvincingly. "Of course not, my lady, I'm feeling great."

She inclined her head. "For what it is worth, I do not fly like my brother."

"Of course not, Lady Artemis, wouldn't dream of making the comparison."

The goddess sighed. "If it helps, you can sit on the floor…"

She nodded gratefully. "I think I might just do that…" and at that, she slumped down to the wooden floor, her eyes glued shut.

"Mom, watch out for that mountain!"

Thalia screamed.

"Armani…" Artemis chided.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

-Ω-

The rest of the journey was entirely uneventful, although I was somewhat bruised by the time we arrived. It wasn't that it was a bumpy ride or anything, it's just that Thalia seemed to have decided to keep herself entertained by intermittently kicking me in the shins once every moment or so.

After dropping us off, the chariot took off and vanished as if of its own accord, leaving us at the entrance to the pantheon atop Olympus.

I glanced behind us down the stairs. "It's quite busy. What's with all the hubbub?"

My mother regarded the numbers mulling about the various temples around Olympus below us. "All the Olympians have gathered; this is a very serious matter. We have not been forced to pass judgment on a goddess before. Many of the others are curious."

I looked inside the entrance to the pantheon. "Shall we go inside?"

Artemis shook her head. "Preparations are still under way. My father will summon us when it is time. I must announce our presence; I will enter and talk to my father. We shall not be called upon until tomorrow, but it was necessary for us to be here in advance should our presence be requested early."

I nodded. "Right. If we've got time, then it's best I find Artemis, Holly and Juliet. The three of them should have been here since yesterday, and I have to get this rock back to them before then," I said, pulling out the diamond and tossing it thoughtfully about in my hands.

"Di Immortales," Thalia gaped. "Where did you get that? Is it real?"

"Hmm?" I glanced down at the stone. "This? Yeah, it's the Star of Africa; I sort of borrowed it from the British."

She frowned. "Borrowed it?"

"He stole it," my mother butted in.

Thalia's jaw dropped. "You _stole_ it?"

"_Borrowed._ I borrowed it," I retorted, frowning at my mother.

"Just make sure you do not do it again," the goddess said, as she turned about.

I rolled my eyes. "You want me to promise not to steal any more national treasures?"

She narrowed her eyes at me but didn't respond as she turned fully about and entered the pantheon.

"You really should show a bit more respect," Thalia said.

I smiled as my mother disappeared. "She's back to normal…I just had to make sure."

Thalia blinked, and then shook her head. "Come on then. Who did you say we were looking for again?"

I scanned the mountain that lay out below us. "A boy, a girl and an elf."

"A what now?"

"Long story, Thalia. But I'm sure we'll find them. Artemis isn't the kind who's able to keep a low profile for long…"

"What's any of this got to do with Lady Artemis?"

I frowned. "It doesn't."

"But you just said-"

I groaned. "One of them is called Artemis also."

"The elf?"

I continued my observations. "No…"

"So the girl's called Artemis, too? Funny coincidence."

"Wrong again…" I muttered.

"What, then who…wait, the _boy_?" she demanded angrily.

I started walking down the stairs. "Thalia, I've had this conversation with my mother once already. I'm not having it again."

She was silent for a moment as I leaned round a corner, scanned the area, and took a left down another pathway. "I'm not calling him that…" she said after a moment.

"Call who what?"

"The _boy_. I refuse to refer to him by the mistress' name."

I sighed as I continued observing. "It's his _name_, Thalia. It's not like he had any say in it."

"It doesn't matter. What were his parents thinking?"

"Like I said, I've already had this conversation. If you've got time to moan over trivial matters, then you've got time to help me find Apollo's temple. I don't exactly know my way around this place."

"Why do you need to get to Apollo's temple?"

"Simple. My mother said Apollo returned here yesterday. And, assuming he's not in the Pantheon, that means he'll probably be in his temple. And I have a hunch that's where Artemis, Juliet and Holly will be."

She nodded and walked ahead, "If you say so. Come on then, I think his main temple is this way." She said, and then proceeded to lead me through the throngs of minor gods and visitors.

-Ω-

Twenty minutes and three wrong turns later, we found ourselves outside a large, ornate, traditional Greek temple. The outside was decorated with ornate carvings of Apollo and his deeds. A large golden sun was emblazoned above the entryway.

I shrugged. "Well, better late than never."

"Hey, I said I _thought_ I knew the way. Didn't see you helping out much, either."

"Well, we've got here, that's all that matters. Shall we go inside?"

Thalia heaved a sigh. "If we must…"

-Ω-

The inside of Apollo's temple was pretty much as expected.

It had all the traditional décor befitting a building on Olympus: murals, columns and the like. The hot tub and the sixty-inch plasma TV built into the back wall were a bit out of place though. As was the mini-bar and the karaoke machine.

"Well, this is very him," I said. "Now let's try in the back, they might-"

"Hey," Thalia cut in, "Isn't that you?"

I frowned. "What?" I said, realizing Thalia was looking at the murals displaying Apollo's various triumphs over the millennia. She was examining one at near the end, next to the picture of him combating Typhon with the other Olympians.

"It really does look like you…"

I approached and eyed the mural. And I suddenly felt myself trembling with rage.

It was me, alright, but I wasn't the triumphant one…

Apollo stood in triumph with his foot on my back as I lay face down, defeated. He held aloft what appeared to be a Guitar Hero controller, his body glowing with divine light.

Thalia obviously saw my reaction. "Armani, are you okay?"

I smiled. "Thalia, be a dear and loan me your dagger for a moment…"

Her hand strayed to the hilt. "Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"Just for a moment. I need something sharp."

She cautiously drew it out and handed it to me. "If you're about to commit suicide or something, let me know in advance."

"Nothing so melodramatic, "I said through gritted teeth as I took the point of the dagger and began scratching words into the marble surface.

Thalia took a step forwards. "What are you _doing_?" she hissed, looking about. "If one of Apollo's servants sees you-"

"Then they'll know the score. There, done…" I said, and handed the dagger back.

She leaned in as she returned it to its sheath and frowned. "You just wrote 'cheater' with an arrow pointing to Apollo's head."

"He cheated, you know."

Thalia rolled her eyes. "Yes, Armani. I know."

"So there you are," A familiar voice sounded, startling us.

Artemis Fowl stood beside one of the pillars that formed the doorway into the back area.

I smiled. "Thought you might be here. Are Juliet and Holly here too?"

He inclined his head behind him. "Apollo was kind enough to provide us with shelter and food whilst we're here. He's become very… _friendly_ with them both." He glanced at Thalia. "And who is your associate?"

"Oh. This is Thalia Grace, Lieutenant of Artemis and daughter of Zeus. Thalia, this is Artemis Fowl the Second."

I noticed Thalia narrow her eyes at him. "Mister Fowl…"

Artemis' eyebrow rose up at her words. He nodded curtly in response. "Miss Grace."

Thalia's brow twitched. "Don't call me that," she said dangerously, and I caught the subtle scent of ozone radiating from her.

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "And I do not go by 'Mister Fowl'; you may refer to me as Artemis. Or do you have some issue with that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

Artemis nodded understandingly. "Well, you are of course entitled your opinion. Follow me."

"Easy, Thalia," I muttered as I followed Artemis into the back with Thalia following close behind.

-Ω-

"So who was it, Artemis? Did Apollo come back?" Juliet's voice sounded.

"No, although my earlier prediction has turned out to be most accurate," he said as I entered just after him. The room wasn't as big as the main area, but was far more lavish and traditional. Four cushioned Greek-style couches were situated about a low table laid out with delicacies and drinks. A large painting of various Greek legends dominated the back wall.

Juliet, who was now wearing a traditional white Greek toga and gold circlet, set her bronze goblet down and jumped up from the couch she had been lazing on when she caught sight of me.

"Armani!"

"Hello, Juliet. You look… nice."

She halted and looked at herself sheepishly. "Yeah, Apollo said it looks great on me. Apparently I'd make wonderful priestess in one of his temples."

She said and did a small twirl. I noticed her blonde hair had been rebraided too, in a more traditional style. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"Didn't Apollo tell you?"

"Not much, he just said he'd gone to help you with a vampire. He just kept saying not to worry about it. What did he mean by vampire, by the way?"

I opened my mouth to speak, and hesitated. "Tell me, Juliet. If I were to say the words 'Team Edward or Team Jacob', what would be your response?"

"Go Team Jacob!" she said happily.

I sighed.

_Should've known…_

"Well, I had some vampire trouble, but my mother sorted it all out."

"Are you telling me vampires are real here?" she asked, a note of excitement in her voice.

"Nope, but that didn't stop one from trying to kill me."

"Well, it sounds like you've had fun," Holly said as she sat crouched on one of the sofas, a bowl of grapes in her lap.

I smiled. "Nice to see you too, Captain. No changing clothes for you then?" I asked, noticing she, like Artemis, was still in her normal clothes.

She sighed. "I'm not in the mood for fancy dress. Plus, there's only so much a girl can take of a guy repeatedly asking you to take your clothes off before you have to do something about it. Turns out even gods find being shot by a level five neutrino blast to be unpleasant."

"You shot Apollo?" I gaped.

She shrugged. "Only five or six times. I think he was starting to enjoy it in the end, but luckily he was called away. How does he think asking to have a child with you is a good pickup line?"

I shuddered as a recent unpleasant conversation came to mind. "They're gods. I suppose they think it's a compliment."

"Thankfully, Juliet was nice enough to keep him distracted most of the time."

Juliet blushed. "He was really nice, but I think my brother might get angry if I let anything happen."

Holly sighed. "You think? I can just imagine it. _'Hi, bro, I'm back. Oh, great news, I'm pregnant with a god's child!'_ Yeah, I'm sure he'd be thrilled."

Juliet frowned. "I didn't mean we'd go that far!"

I cocked my head. "Still, you should be careful; you don't actually have to…_copulate_ with a god to end up with child. They can be very tricky like that."

"What's this about a tribunal?" Artemis asked, thankfully changing the subject. "Apollo mentioned something about it before leaving."

I sat down on one of the chairs and grabbed an apple from the table. "From what I know, Eris is to be tried by the other gods for what she's done. It's beginning tomorrow at some point."

Juliet sighed. "Looks like we'll be gone by then, won't we?"

Artemis nodded. "Quite. Do you have the diamond, Armani?"

I inclined my head and retrieved the stone from my pocket. I extended my hand to give it to him, and then hesitated.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

I narrowed my eyes. "You remember your promise, don't you? You said you'd return it once you got back."

He smiled. "Armani, I assure you it's in good hands. And I promise I'll make sure it gets back to the place it belongs."

With some reluctance, I gave the stone to the Irishman. He regarded it for a second, then slipped it into his pocket. "Holly, do you know how much time we have?"

She focused for a second. "That little hiccup in the time tunnel distorted the magic in me a bit. We'll be going back sometime early in the morning."

Artemis nodded. "So we lost some time, after all. It's good you came here by yourself, else we may have been returning without the stone…and the news will eventually break on it back home. I also suspect my mother may figure out that it was I who had a part in it."

"Angeline _is_ the perceptive type," Holly said.

Artemis shot me a look. "It's more the fact that he _told_ my mother what we were about to do. It may have been as a distraction, but if it did come out that the stone was missing, then it wouldn't take long for her to put two and two together. She's not above restricting my personal freedoms."

"You're saying your mommy would ground you?" Thalia prodded.

Artemis didn't dignify her with a response.

"Umm, who is she?" Juliet asked, pointing at Thalia.

"I forgot, I hadn't introduced you. This is Thalia. She's a demigod and a Hunter like me. She's a friend."

"A Hunter, huh?" Juliet mused. "Is it true you're not allowed to have a boyfriend?"

Thalia bristled slightly. "I've taken an oath to scorn all romance and companionship with boys."

Juliet's eyebrows raised. "Wow, sounds like a boring life if you ask me."

Thalia gritted her teeth. "It's a very fulfilling life, if you must know. I'm very content with my sisters on the Hunt. We need no boys to make us waver. Would you not be interested in living forever, having a new family and never falling ill? Serving Lady Artemis opens up a world of wonder the likes you could not imagine."

"Not interested," she replied without hesitation. "I like my family. Artemis is one of my best friends, and I could never _scorn_ him just because of his sex. And I'd never like to live forever. I couldn't stand the thought of my friends and family aging and dying off around me. Plus, I'd think a life without knowing love would be a very empty one. No offence, but being a servant to your goddess isn't worth being cursed with living forever."

Thalia tried to find a retort, but Juliet, a girl who was so obsessed with living her life and changing, really wasn't someone who'd ever join the hunt, and really wasn't the sort a Hunter could argue with and win. Although, regardless of her mortality, I somehow knew she'd live a very happy life.

I looked at Thalia and realized she had been quite disturbed by the rebuttal. I guess this might have been one of the first times she'd considered some of the downsides of being a Hunter.

_The curse of living forever…I'd never really thought about it like that._

"Isn't there anyone you ever liked like that?" Juliet asked.

Thalia glanced away. "None of your business…"

Juliet shrugged. "That's a yes then. So what happened?"

"He betrayed me and _died,_ if you _must_ know…" she said quietly.

Juliet went silent. "I'm sorry…"

She shook her head. "It's okay. That wasn't the reason I chose to join. There was…a prophecy. By never aging I managed to ensure I wouldn't be a part of it, and it worked. The prophecy was fulfilled without me and everything turned out okay."

"If you don't mind my asking," Juliet said with hesitation, "if the prophecy was the reason you joined, and it's now fulfilled, why are you still a Hunter?"

Thalia paled slightly at the question. "I'm happy now, for the first time in my life. I feel at peace with my sisters and Lady Artemis."

"Don't you miss boys, though?" Juliet asked.

She scoffed. "Hardly…" she said, glancing aside.

"You don't sound very convinced."

"Enough!" Thalia snapped, "My personal choices are nothing to do with you. I don't know why I'm even entertaining this conversation with a complete stranger. I'm heading back to Artemis' temple. Stay here if you want," she said to me as she swung about and stormed off.

Juliet blinked. "Was it something I said?"

"Let's just say you touched a few nerves there, Juliet. Don't worry; I'll go talk to her." I said, and followed the Hunter.

-Ω-

Thalia hadn't gone far. In fact, she'd gotten to the end of the street and simply stopped. When I walked up, she was pacing back and forth, cursing to herself under her breath.

"She didn't mean anything by it, you know," I said.

Thalia flinched, surprised, and then seemed to calm herself slightly. "What gives her the right to ask those things? Who did she think she was?"

"She was only curious, Thalia."

She clenched her teeth, glancing down at the marble. There was a genuinely disturbed look in her eyes. "Thalia, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she said quickly.

"Thalia…"

She let out a breath and leaned her forehead against a marble wall, staring at the ground. "It's just… Some of the things she said…sometimes, once in a while, I ask them, too. Annabeth and Percy will continue to age, and eventually everyone I've ever known will die, and I'll be the only one left. And I sometimes wonder…if Luke had somehow come back, and Percy had somehow separated him from Kronos, would I have stayed in the Hunt? And each time I say yes to myself, but there's somewhere, deep inside me, in the back of my mind, whispering something else. And _yes_, I do sometimes still have those feelings about boys. I mean it's not as if Lady Artemis just waves a magic wand and poof, you're an asexual ultra-feminist who likes killing small furry animals."

I chuckled. "I should think not…But I'd think most Hunters, probably even Zoe Nightshade, would've had these conflicts at some point or another."

"And how do you think they work out their issues?"

I shrugged. "The one thing Hunters have an abundance of: Time. Give yourself time. I mean, this is a huge lifestyle change, and it will take some getting used to. And perhaps you'll never shake some of your more…_romantic_ inclinations, but they just make you who you are. It's just whether or not you choose to act on them. It's like you said, though, the bottom line is that you're happy now. If you've found peace with the Hunters, then you should look more at what you've gained than what you've lost."

She was silent for a moment, and then stood back up to full height. "You're right… I may have given up some things to join the Hunt, but the truth is, I've gained a lot more in return. And I'm grateful for that."

I smiled. "Well, there you have it, then."

She smiled slightly. "Just promise you won't tell anyone about this."

I grinned. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Seriously. Not a word. _Ever_."

"You have my word. Your secret is forever safe."

She nodded once and turned about, heading back to the temple. "Suppose I can just wait it out here until the others arrive."

As Thalia passed me, I recalled my own words and Juliet's, as I suddenly realized how they applied to my own situation.

"I'm in love with Aren!"

I wasn't sure if I had really let the words come out of my mouth, but if Thalia had suddenly stopped dead for another reason, then it would be quite a coincidence.

she turned slowly back around. "_What_ did you say?"

I swallowed. "And she loves me too. Some kind of love-spell effect was planted in me when I was attacked by Aphrodite. When I awoke and met Aren's eyes, we were bonded. I felt everything about her. Saw all her qualities, her insecurities and strengths open up to me for one blinding instant. The same thing happened to her. The spell was broken later, but the damage was done, and the feelings between us remain."

Thalia stared at me, wide-eyed. "Are you serious?" she breathed.

"My mother knows about it already…Obviously she doesn't like the situation any more than we do."

She frowned. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Two reasons. You told me your secret, so I gave you mine in return. Secondly, she's alone among the Hunters. The feelings are as new to her as they are to me. They're so _alien_ to us both. I felt you might be able to help her."

She still stared at me, and then turned away in thought. She nodded. "This is… a bit of a big thing to spring on me like this, Armani."

I smiled. "And you thought you had problems, huh?"

She laughed slightly. Suddenly her face turned serious. "Has anything, you know, _happened_?"

"Happened? _Oh_, you mean…Oh, _gods _no. We've just had…moments."

She nodded again. "I'll keep an eye on her, and if she needs someone to talk to her with an unbiased ear, then I'll be there for her too."

I smiled. "Thanks, Thalia."

She nodded. "Has Lady Artemis said she'll do something? Y'know; if the two of you do get a little bit too _close_."

I felt myself go distant as I remembered our conversation. "She's torn on the issue. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I think she's unsure what sort of precedent to set." I paused as I felt guilt swell up in me. "I feel for her so much, but it's not fair. She has so much to lose if my mother reprimands her."

"I suppose the question is: will Lady Artemis look on one of her Hunters falling in love with her son, another Hunter, differently than simply falling for a boy?" Thalia pondered.

"I _am_ a boy."

"You know what I mean. Look, I'd put it out of your mind for now. Like you said, it's only a problem if you choose to act on your feelings. Come on, let's get back inside."

I nodded, feeling less than reassured. "Yeah…"

-Ω-

The rest of the day was uneventful. Apollo hadn't returned, having stayed in the pantheon. The Hunters had arrived later that day and Thalia went to join them. They then retired to one of my mother's temples for the night. I chose to remain with Artemis, Juliet and Holly. Partly because it'd be the last night I'd ever see them, and partly because I wanted to keep an eye on Artemis. Holly had told me she'd had her suspicions about his behavior, so I chose to be vigilant around him.

Morning had arrived without incident. Holly had awoken, and announced that it was time…

It was probably about 7am, and the morning light cast a tranquil atmosphere over Olympus.

Holly, Juliet, Artemis and myself climbed the steps up to the plateau outside the pantheon.

Surprisingly, my mother was waiting for us. She stood outside the entrance to the halls of the gods with Thalia and several of her Hunters at her side.

"Apollo said you'd be coming. I take it that it's time for our guests to depart."

I nodded. "Yes, mother."

"I see."

Holly's hand went to her chest. "Time's almost up, we've only got about ten minutes left."

I nodded and turned to the boy, who had grudgingly allowed Thalia to call him Arty. He spoke first, "It has certainly been… _interesting." _He offered his hand.

I took it. "That is certainly a word I would use to describe it. You live in an interesting world, my friend."

He smiled slightly, and shook my hand, then glanced at my mother. "I could say the same. Best of luck."

"And you."

I approached Holly, who beckoned me down so she could give me a brief hug. "Now you stay out of trouble. And careful with the embarrassing questions in future, okay?"

I hugged the small elf back. "You know… you never did give me an answer."

Her eyes drifted to Artemis and back, and she smirked. "I suppose I'll just have to leave that up to your imagination. All the best… god boy."

"And you, Holly. Oh, and before I forget, I have that thing you asked for a while back," I said, rummaging in my bag and retrieving a photo.

"What? Oh, _that_…" she said, eying the photo with a smile.

"He even put the message on you asked for."

Juliet frowned. "What is it?"

"A signed photo of Chiron. A little something for Caballine; I figure it'll be something she could use to motivate Foaly to actually _use_ that treadmill he bought. It says _'To Foaly. You too can have a body like this, if you work for it. Eternal regards, Chiron'._"

"It was an odd request to make of him. He was quite bemused, but I explained it was for a good cause," I said.

"Thanks, Armani," Holly said with a smile, sliding the photo into her pocket.

"My pleasure."

Juliet settled on a more bear-type of hug, "Ohh, I'm gonna miss practicing my choke-slams on you, little guy. You were the perfect size and everything."

I smiled and embraced her back. "I enjoyed beating you repeatedly, also."

She frowned, then laughed, kissing me once on the cheek before letting me go.

I suddenly noticed the bag dangling from Artemis' shoulder. "Hey, where did you get that?"

He glanced at the Hunter's bag. "I found it. It looked like a good place to keep the diamond until I can return it to its _rightful _place."

I glanced at my mother. "He may keep it," she said with a tiny shrug. "It is for a somewhat noble cause, after all."

I nodded. "Oh, and speaking of returning things…" I reached into my own black bag and drew out a cylindrical object.

Artemis smiled at the item. "Commander Kelp's buzz baton. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to have it back."

Holly grunted. "And the memories that go along with it. Yeah, I'm sure he'll be chuffed to death."

My mother took a step forwards suddenly and regarded the mortal boy. He took it as a cue and stepped forwards, stopping before her.

"_Artemis _Fowl…" she said, putting emphasis on his first name.

He bowed his head respectfully. "Lady Artemis."

She looked at him inquisitively. "In concept, I should turn you into a beast just for the fact that you are a boy who would bear my name, especially one who would dare speak to me as you did."

"I apologize for the harshness of my words, my lady, but it was-" She raised a hand, cutting him off.

"I understand why you said what you did. It is also why I wish to say this…I thank you, both you and your friends. I am not the sort who will not give credit where credit is due. You went to such trouble to help my child return home, and I wish you to know, I am in your debt. Unfortunately, it would seem there is not enough time to reward you properly. So I'm afraid my thanks are all I can offer you in compensation for your troubles."

He shook his head. "Your gratitude is more than I could've possibly hoped, and it was a genuine honor to meet you and, despite your feelings on the matter, I am honored to bear the name Artemis."

She inclined her head curtly and Artemis Fowl returned to Juliet and Holly's side.

"Here," I said, "catch." I tossed the baton through the air, and Artemis caught it by the tip.

This turned out to be a mistake.

He cried out in pain as a crackle of electricity shot up his arm for the second he had a grip on it.

A spasm went through his body and he collapsed backwards.

"Artemis!" Holly cried, and I couldn't help but notice two of the Hunters snicker. They were silenced by a simple look from my mother. "Don't you know how dangerous it is to throw a live buzz baton?"

"Sorry, I didn't know it was armed. Wow…So I was carrying that thing round live the whole time, scary. Is he okay?"

She nodded. "Just gave him a little jolt. He's only dazed." She patted him on the cheek, resting his head in her lap. "Hey, Arty, are you awake? Can you hear me?"

Artemis blinked and looked up at Holly. There was a strange, almost dreamy look in his eyes as a small smile spread across his face. I also noticed Holly starting to lean back, her face paling somewhat. Artemis took a breath, and spoke.

"My princess…"

-Ω-

Something was definitely up with Artemis.

"Oh, gods, no…" Holly moaned, rubbing her brow.

"It really has been too long. Come, let me press thy perfect cherub lips to my own," he said and attempted to lean up to kiss the elf, who slid out from under him, letting him slump back against the marble floor.

He rubbed the back of his head, "Ahh, you play as hard to get as ever. It is one of the things I love about you. Come, let me count those ways I love thee…"

"Someone want to tell me what in the heck is up with Artemis?" I asked, glancing between the elf and the blonde girl.

_Oh gods no, it's not that split-personality thing, is it?_

Artemis Fowl's eyes suddenly cleared and he leaped to his feet in a most un-Artemis-like manner. "My name is not Artemis." He suddenly swung about, pointing a finger at my mother, who cocked an eyebrow up, "Aha! Artemis, my mortal enemy… Be forewarned, for today is the day I shall finally defeat thee! Someone fetch me my spear! Today is the day Orion will defeat Artemis once and for all."

My mother scowled at him. "Have you lost your mind, boy?"

"As a matter of fact," Holly said, eyeing Artemis as he picked up the baton and twirled it like a sword, "He has. Artemis suffers from a magically induced malady known as an Atlantis Complex. A shock will often cause a secondary personality to surface. This is Orion Fowl, and I should warn you in advance, he's one hundred percent vole-dropping crazy." She turned to Orion/Artemis. "Now, now, Orion. Why don't you give me the baton…"

"Alas, my princess, I cannot do that. I must defeat my eternal foe, and then I can sweep you away back to the country that I may or may not rule depending on the birthmark that I may or may not have. But first… Prepare to be defeated, once and for all, Artemis!"

The goddess didn't say a word. She just regarded him with a note of bemusement. Her Hunters, however, had their hands on their daggers, just in case.

"Orion…" Holly sighed.

Orion didn't take his eyes off his 'enemy'. "Yes, my eternal beloved?"

Holly groaned painfully. "You have access to Artemis Fowl's memories, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yes, and a dreary pile of memories it is too."

"Alright, then you should know that we recently found out that Artemis wasn't really Ori- _your_ enemy."

Orion frowned, glancing off to the side in thought. A second later he swung back about to face the goddess, beaming a smile with his arms spread wide, "My beloved Artemis!"

Her other eyebrow went up.

"Let me embrace you, for I have finally returned to your-"

"Ten," my mother cut interrupted in an emotionless voice.

"What, my love?"

"Isn't there a way to change him back?" I gaped at Holly desperately as my mother began counting slowly down.

"A jolt of electricity should do it, but he's got the baton and-"

There was a flash of blue light, Orion cried out, and then collapsed onto his face from the impact of the ball of lightning Thalia had hurled into his chest.

I cocked my head. "That's one way to do it, I guess."

A slightly singed Artemis groaned. "What in blazes…"

"Artemis?" Holly asked. "Is that you?"

He rubbed his brow and stood shakily to his feet, staggering slightly closer to the goddess. "Yes, it is I. I…apologize you were forced to see my… ailment." He said, glancing down and brushing himself down.

Thalia lowered her still-crackling hand. "Is he back to normal?"

I nodded. "Yes. Good work, Thalia."

She smiled. "No trouble let me know if you need another. I've got a whole prescription-full."

Artemis Fowl took a shaky breath. "That will be quite alright. Thank you for your assistance, Thalia. Four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty, twenty-four… Yes, everything is as it should be for the time being."

My mother took a step forwards and looked into Artemis' eyes. "Interesting… There was indeed a second mind at work within you for that period."

"What's with all the racket out here?" came a familiar voice as Aphrodite appeared at the entrance to the pantheon, Ares at her side.

Artemis Fowl blinked and wavered as the deity met his eyes and shot a warm smile at him. He shook his head and averted his gaze. Aphrodite frowned at him. "A mortal. Huh, not a very cute one, either. Hardly a romantic bone in your body. Oh, and if it isn't Armani. How's your little issue coming along?"

"Quite alright, thank you, Lady Aphrodite."

"Artemis…" Holly suddenly said warningly, her hand gripping her chest. "I think it's time…" she said, and I noticed a slight crimson glow starting to emanate from her skin.

"Artemis…" Aphrodite mused, and then smiled. "So _you_'re this _Boy-Artemis_ I've heard so much about."

"I suppose you wish to make a derogatory remark about it also?" the boy in question asked.

She shook her head. "Not at all. I like the name. It is, after all, so very…_masculine_." She chuckled and I saw the frowns on the faces of the Hunters. My mother remained stoic, however. I sensed she was used to these jibes. I noticed Aphrodite's face brighten and she suddenly began whispering into Ares' ear. The war god listened, and a smirk spread across his face.

_That doesn't look good._

The Hunters and I backed away from the three, my mother halted and stayed where she was as Artemis Fowl spoke. "Before I depart. I wish to offer my sincerest apologies for my actions. I assure you, I was not myself."

The goddess nodded slightly. "Accepted. Safe journey."

And as Artemis Fowl gave a courteous bow, something happened.

Ares stomped his foot. What appeared to be a directed tremor rippled under the marble towards Artemis Fowl, and knocked him off balance as it passed under him.

The boy thankfully managed to avoid head butting the goddess, but in the process ended up doing something else.

Everyone froze in shock as Holly yanked the boy back to her and Juliet at the last second, the three vanishing in a flash of crimson light. Artemis Fowl had just, albeit accidentally, stolen one last thing before vanishing forever:

A kiss from the Goddess of the Hunt.

The goddess stood rooted to the spot. The Hunters, along with me, were utterly agape.

The silence was broken as Aphrodite and Ares cracked up into fits of laughter.

"Hey Artemis, stop kissing yourself!" shouted Ares, causing Aphrodite to laugh all the louder.

She calmed herself after a moment, wiped her eye and turned to walk back inside with Ares. "I swear; anything else that happens today is just _gravy.._."

I edged over to my mother. "Umm, mother? Are you-"

"No talking, please…" She said in a vacant tone then, almost mechanically, turned about and walked inside. "Let's just go, shall we?"

Thalia and I glanced at each other and followed my mother inside the pantheon.

-Ω-

The throne room was full, and then some.

All the gods were occupying their thrones. There were also about ten other giant individuals. Some were sitting in fold out chairs, the others standing in the gaps between the thrones. One I recognized as Iris, who had ditched her usual clothes for a shimmering dress that seemed to change colors as you tried to focus on it. Her mousy hair had been brushed and straightened. She had taken to perching herself on the arm of Hermes' throne, and was cuddling up with the somewhat embarrassed Olympian. Hades was sitting in a slightly more prominent position than the minor gods about him, and he also seemed to be rather upset about something.

It was then that I noticed this was a bit of a trend among the gathered gods right now. They seemed to be arguing with each other. However it seemed to only be the twelve Olympians who were doing it.

"I didn't take your stupid wrench! I don't care if I was seen around your temple! What would I do with something like that, you moron?" Ares, who was still settling in, snapped at Hephaestus. "And you were seen around my temple too, and I'm conveniently missing a pair of my sunglasses now!"

"Oh, what in Hades –No offence, Hades-would I do with _those_? No other god or minor god has been seen around my temple in the past week but you."

I frowned as Poseidon went on to accuse Hermes of stealing his fishing hooks. "What on earth is going on?" I mumbled to Thalia, who shrugged.

I turned to my uncle, who was busy shunning an accusation from Zeus that he had vandalized one of his statues. "Uncle, what's going on?"

He snapped something at his father in ancient Greek that couldn't have been pleasant, and turned to me. "Oh, dad's just being an idiot, accusing me of taking something from one of his stupid old statues."

We hadn't even had the chance to present ourselves yet. Suddenly the hearth in the centre of the room blazed upwards, nearly touching the ceiling. Everyone went silent and Hestia was scowling at the gods, "Such immaturity. What is the issue, and with calm, my family," she said in a controlled voice.

"_Someone's_ snatched my four-eighths wrench," Hephaestus snapped, glaring at Ares.

"Yeah, well _someone's_ offed with a pair of my sunglasses," he retorted.

"Hang on…" Iris said, and all the other Olympians glanced at her. "So you're all missing something?"

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Well, _yes_, but we can't…just…" His eyes went wide and the Olympians suddenly began glancing at each other, a stunned understanding passing between them. "We've been _robbed!_" Apollo gasped in a slightly high pitched tone.

I suddenly felt a sinking dread inside me.

_Oh no, oh gods no…_

Zeus scowled, "Seal the mountain! We shall find the fool who would dare steal from the gods of Olympus!"

My mother had snapped out of it as she turned to Thalia. "Thalia, go outside and tell your sisters to split up and check my temples. Instruct them to see if they can spot if anything is out of place."

Thalia nodded and ran out.

For ten tense minutes the gods speculated on different punishments for the culprit. Hades recommending several, most involving a certain pit. Thalia then returned.

"Well?" Artemis enquired.

She seemed angry. "One of your daggers is missing. It was taken from the unused temple on the western side of Olympus."

Artemis gripped the arms of her throne. "Armani, do you-"

Hermes butted in there, leaning around Iris. "Did you say Armani? As in Armani Dove?"

I nodded. "Yes, Lord Hermes. Is there something I can do for you?"

With a grunt he raised himself up slightly, nudging Iris up too, and pulled an envelope from his back pocket. "Here… That mortal kid asked me to deliver this to you. Don't normally do freebies, but what can I say, I'm a very charitable god."

He flicked the envelope into the air. It vanished in a flash, and then appeared in my hand. I frowned at the envelope which had written on the front in fine script the words _Armani Dove._

I tore it open and pulled out a note.

"What is it?" Thalia asked, and I noticed my mother was eying me inquisitively too.

I coughed and read the note aloud with a frown.

"_Salutations._

_Armani. If you are reading this, and all has gone according to plan, then by now I will have departed back to my own world with Juliet and Holly, and right now you are standing in the hall of the Olympian gods. Please pass my thanks on to Lord Hermes for his delivery."_ I glanced up at Hermes. "Thanks, Hermes."

He nodded, and I noticed a few of the other gods were watching me curiously now. I continued.

"_Since we will have no doubt already exchanged parting pleasantries,_ _I shall not bore you with any more. However, in case circumstances did not allow me to say it, just know that I consider you a personal friend and will always cherish the time we spent together, and that I wish you a good life."_

"Aww, that was nice…" Iris cooed.

"There's more…" I replied.

"_Furthermore. I have one additional message that I would like you to pass on for me. Ahem…"_

I paused to glance up, "He actually _wrote _the cough inflection in. "I returned to the letter,

"_Please tell Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hades, Athena, Aphrodite, Demeter, Hermes, Apollo, Hephaestus, Ares, Dionysus, and, of course, Artemis, that-"_

I felt my face pale as I read the rest of the note in advance, and suddenly noticed all the gods had silenced at the sound of their own name and were watching me intensely.

I gulped and continued.

"_-that Artemis the Hunter…Sends his regards._

_Artemis Fowl II_

_Aurum est potestas"_

The note slipped from my numb hands, and I watched as it was caught up in a gust of wind, blown into the hearth, and reduced to ash.

"Now that's very Artemis Fowl…" I found myself muttering.

Artemis frowned. "What?"

"Something a friend once said. He didn't take anything of real value, just trinkets. He did it to prove he _could_. He stole from the gods, and he got away scot-free…"

Zeus' fist slammed into the arm of his throne. "There will be no getting away! We will send out our forces and scour the earth until we find-"

"He's already gone, father," Artemis interrupted gently.

He frowned. "What?"

I spoke up. "He just returned to his own universe moments ago. There's no way to go after him, no way to hunt him. He's gone…" I went silent for a moment before speaking again. "That was his plan all along; coming here, his questioning of me, asking about my abilities and any mystical items I had…"

Thalia shook her head. "But if he had all that stuff we'd have _seen_ _it_…" She trailed off as it came to her. "He had a Hunter's bag..."

I nodded. "Which has identical properties to my own: bigger on the inside; impossible to sense the contents; and also able to hide what's inside of it if the one who's carrying it wishes it. I told him, I told him all about it. He probably had it all planned out from day one, from the instant he knew who I was."

The gods were looking with barely contained fury. "How did this…_mortal_ get amongst us?" Hades, whose chariot was missing a throw cushion, demanded.

I sighed, "He came with me in the space-time tunnel I used to return to this dimension. He said it would help if he came along to add some mental assistance to the transfer."

Hades grumbled. "And you had no _inclination _this might happen if you brought him here? You thought he was just the _reputable_ sort, did you?" he asked tensely.

I inclined my head. "Well… There were some signs that he was somewhat less than reputable…"

Hermes spoke up. "What sort of signs?"

"Well, there was the minor fact that he had me agreeing to help him steal the Crown Jewels having only known him a day, but other than that he seemed completely aboveboard."

Hermes gaped. "The Crown Jewels?"

I shrugged. "Kind of, yeah…"

He sighed, "Well there's nothing we can do about it now. I suppose I'd best make an inventory of what's gone. Just for my records and all that…" At that, he pulled a pen out of his breast pocket and Iris handed him a notepad. "Right then, shall we… Hang on…" he paused, and frowned at the writing implement in his hand, which appeared to be a rather scruffy-looking biro. "This isn't my pen." He glanced at the pen and looked into his pockets. "But where's…" Suddenly a look of absolute shock came over his features. "HE STOLE MY PEN! He had the AUDACITY to write out his calling card right in front of me, steal the pen he wrote it with, and have me _deliver it_ for him!" He fumed for a moment and then, strangely, through his rage, a strange twinkle appeared in his eye. A grudging smile began to spread across his face. "…_Damn._"

Athena sighed. "I take it that it's the same mortal boy we're talking about. The small annoying one of clearly Irish descent?"

I nodded consolingly.

She shrugged. "Well, there's no problem for me. He visited my workshop and, although leaving me somewhat angry, I didn't take my eyes off him once."

Apollo frowned, "Lucky for you, then. What, so he didn't get a thing?"

"Like I said, I was watching him the whole time and…" She suddenly froze dead, mid sentence, mouth still open.

Apollo frowned. "Umm, Athena? Are you okay?"

"He stole my pointer…" she said disbelievingly after a moment.

"But you just said you were _watching him_. How could he have taken it if you were watching him?"

Athena was still wide-eyed with realization. "I _was_ watching him. I watched him the whole time. I even watched him take it. He didn't even try to _hide_ the fact that that's what he was doing. He did it right in front of me and strolled out with it in his hand."

Aphrodite scowled. "Then you want tell me exactly how managed to do that?"

"Always suspect there is more to your enemy's actions than they appear, for if you don't, you may not find out what they were truly after until after the fact."

"Athena?" Apollo asked.

"He was talking about a game of chess that Annabeth and I had been playing. It was an analogy. He was practically _telling me_ what he was about to do… I should've seen right through that, but he played my emotions, annoying me and irritating me up until the point he just _had_ to be gone else I'd have destroyed him. He took me right to the edge of my composure, to my last thread of rational thought…and just walked out with it. He beat me in a battle of wits." After a moment of pondering silence, she inclined her head. "…Impressive."

Zeus let out a long sigh, bringing everyone's attention back to him. "Multiple minor thefts aside, we have a much more pressing issue at hand. It is time for us to turn our attention to the reason we have all been assembled here."

The gods all nodded their heads in confirmation as Zeus raised his head up, "Very well. Let us begin…"

-Ω-

It was dark by the time Artemis had returned to Fowl Manor. Juliet had gone to bed and his mother had already been told where he had gone by Butler, but since she already knew about Armani's origin and where he came from, this wasn't a problem. Butler had, thankfully, omitted the minor detail involving the stealing of the Star of Africa.

He opened his hidden safe behind the books on his shelf, and set the blue bag he was carrying on his desk, withdrawing the diamond.

He approached the safe, but found himself freezing mid-step. C_ome on, all you have to do is extend your hand, put it in, and close the door… You'll never be caught by the authorities. One small fencing operation and you'll have all your fortune back and more… Just put it in and close the door. _He tried to make his body comply. Logically, it would be the most financially beneficial thing to do. _Why am I hesitating? No one will be hurt because of this…_

After a moment, his hand fell slack down to his side, his other coming up to close the safe door. He eyed the diamond in the room's dim light. His brow twitched, and he turned to regard the darkness of his study. "You're there… aren't you?"

A moment later, Holly Short shimmered into the visible spectrum, sitting on the corner of his desk, watching her friend. "How did you know I was here?"

He frowned, thinking on the question. "I don't know… maybe, as a friend of mine would say, it was a matter of instinct. My conscience played up, so you had to be near."

She smirked. "are you saying _I'm_ your conscience?"

He looked into the diamond. "Just a few years ago I wouldn't have even hesitated. It would be in that safe and I'd already be on the line to my contacts to organize the sale. Oh, Holly Short, what have you done to me?"

Holly laughed quietly. "You really do think so little of yourself sometimes. I've already said once before that perhaps, below that cunning and guile, deep down beneath that scheming mind, there's a very good person in there, perhaps even an upstanding citizen."

"Perhaps…"

Holly was silent for a moment or so, then spoke. "Artemis the goddess, huh?"

Artemis frowned. "What about her?"

"So was she better than me?"

Artemis dignified her only with a scowl as he tossed the diamond through the air. She caught it deftly and shimmered back into invisibility, laughing all the way…

Artemis frowned and stayed still until he heard the door close behind the elf, and then he returned to the bag still resting on his desk.

He grabbed it by the bottom and turned it upside down. From within, as if by magic, more than a dozen random objects, ranging from golden laurels to a certain Sun God's Xbox 360 hard drive, tumbled onto the surface of the table.

Artemis regarded the virtually worthless (in a financial sense) artifacts, as a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. _A good person? I'd like to think so, but an upstanding citizen? Not today, Holly. Not today._

He leaned back against his desk in the darkness of his study. "Artemis Fowl, the boy who would steal from gods…" he mused out loud as he arched his head about to regard the treasures, smile widening. "Beat that, Mister Diggums…"

And so, the next day, when Queen Elizabeth the Second suddenly found one of her country's most precious treasures landing smack in her morning bowl of porridge without explanation, she requested the whole incident be kept under wraps, and the stone returned to its correct place without question. She felt there were some questions you just don't want the answers to….

-Ω-

The gods had become all business again as another figure appeared with a flash in the centre of the room by the hearth.

She was in her giant form, like all the others. And like most of the other gods present, I didn't recognize her. She had long, platinum silver hair and a flowing dress that was a metallic grey color. Her skin was pale like Hades, and she was stunningly beautiful; even I could tell that. But there was something about her extremely pale features and her ice-blue eyes that sent a chill down my spine. Her beauty wasn't like Aphrodite's, which was deceptively warm and inviting. No, hers was…_Cold_.

The expression on her face was equally as cold, not angry or upset, just… serious. There was no other way I could describe her.

She bowed her head towards the sky god. "My Lord Zeus."

He nodded. "Nemesis. Are you prepared to begin arbitration?"

She nodded. "I am. Are all the witnesses present?"

Zeus glanced at my mother, then me. "They are."

She nodded, her tone still neutral. "Then we shall begin."

Zeus raised his hand, and snapped his fingers. There was a crash of thunder, a blue flash, and there, suspended in an oval cage composed entirely of crackling bolts of lightning, in her human-sized form, was Eris.

She glared at the assembled deities with anger. A look of utter and undisguised loathing flashed across her features as she regarded Nemesis, and she thrashed against her cage in her direction. The Goddess of Vengeance remained stoic, however, ignoring the outburst.

Nemesis turned her attention to Zeus. "My Lord, please begin."

He nodded gravely and turned his attention to the trapped goddess. "Eris, Goddess of Chaos, Upheaval and Discord. Do you know why you are here?"

She appeared to suddenly turn bored, and lounged against the back of her cell, rolling her eyes. "Oh, why don't you tell me, Lord Zeus."

He shot her a withering glare, which she ignored, then spoke. "You have been charged—"

"I have been _charged_? Oh, spare me…"

A crackle of lightning from the cage silenced any further remarks. "—with the following: Disruption of the natural order; Acting outside your dominion; Interfering in mortal affairs; endangering the fabric of reality itself and by extension the lives of every being -mortal, divine or otherwise- contained within. These are all offences which we could punish you with by casting you into Tartarus itself. What do you have to say in your defense?"

Eris sighed tiredly. "Such long-windedness. I don't suppose you'd mind clarifying each of those charges for me? I might just deny them all, but I'd still like you to elaborate"

Zeus nodded his head at Nemesis, who began speaking. "Do you deny that you were responsible –directly or indirectly—for the death of a mortal whose life force became the partial foundation for the creation of the demigod Armani Dove?"

She hummed in thought. "I think I'll abstain on that one for now, but carry on."

She nodded. "Do you deny you were responsible for the manipulation of events leading up to the rupture in the fabric of reality resulting in the crossover of one Selene Dove?"

"Nope," she said with a smile, examining her fingernails.

Nemesis nodded again. "Do you deny that both you and your counterpart from a parallel reality were responsible for manipulating events leading up to the mass rupture that weakened the walls of all realities and endangered all of creation?"

She shrugged. "Nope."

_What is she doing? She's effectively pleading guilty to everything._

Nemesis inclined her head. "Then am I right in assuming that you admit to all charges, with the exception of the singular incident of which you abstained from giving an admission upon?"

She smiled widely. "I sure am. That was all me."

Nemesis' brow creased into a frown. Clearly even she was taken slightly aback by Eris' blasé attitude. The other gods were whispering amongst themselves also.

"Then do you have anything to say in your defense before I pass judgment upon you?"

The calm look on Eris' face melted for an instant. "Oh you would just _love_ that, wouldn't you? You've been out to get me since the day we both came into being."

Nemesis inclined her head. "I will not deny that I find it agreeable that order shall win over chaos after all these years. I merely find it to be the natural conclusion of our differences."

"What? That you win?"

Nemesis inclined her head in acknowledgement.

Eris scoffed and laughed quietly to herself. "_Actually_. I do have one defense lined up. I believe witnesses were called should they be needed, correct?"

Nemesis nodded.

A smirk played out across Eris' lips. "Very well then, if that is the case... I call witness for the defense… Armani Dove."

I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped me. Some of the gods looked equally bewildered. She wanted _me_ to speak in her favor?

_Gods, she's as daft as a brush._

Nemesis kept her composure and turned her attention to me, and I couldn't help but shudder under her gaze. "Step forward, Armani Dove."

I circled around until I was looking up at Eris, who wore her usual chillingly sweet smile. "Ahh, my avatar. At last we come to the last page of our tale together. I must say, you've been such fun, but all good things, as they say…"

I glared at her. "You must have lost your mind. What could I possibly have to contribute to your defense?"

Her smile widened. "Only the truth, my dear."

"The _truth_? You just told the truth. I don't see what I could possibly add."

She inclined her head. "True, but what my dearest family does not see is that the whole thing is being looked at from entirely the wrong perspective."

"What do you mean? What other perspective could there be?"

She smiled. "That in truth, I have done nothing at all."

I laughed at the comment. "Oh this should be good. Come on, Eris, amaze me."

She narrowed her eyes at me and said one word. "Paradox."

I got a sinking feeling, and I felt the blood drain from my face for some reason.

_This cannot be going in a good direction._

I scowled at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Is it not true, my precious, that in order to come home after being expelled from this universe, you were forced to cross dimensions and then travel through time to get back to the here and now?"

I didn't respond, just gritted my teeth, she continued. "And that whilst in the past of this reality, I happened to run into you…" She paused to regard me. "I think you can see where this is heading, don't you, little Armani? You see, I looked into your mind, which contained the memories of everything that had happened. And I knew only one thing from those memories: that in the end everything turned out peachy, even_ you,_ as it turns out, end up getting home. I merely ensured everything went as it should in order to keep things spinning. For all I know, if I'd acted any differently, the world would change horribly as a result, and it was my divine duty, as a goddess, to make sure the balance was retained. To sum up, everything I did, I only did because it had already happened, and needed to happen once again ,for I knew the outcome already: that all would be right with the world."

_It can't be… _

There was murmuring amongst the gathered gods. Some were arguing the concept. Athena was silent in thought, and both my mother and Apollo seemed very upset by the revelation.

Nemesis turned suddenly to me, a look of terrifying intensity on her face. "Armani Dove, are Eris' claims truthful?"

I was still in shock as I realized what was about to happen:

_After everything that happened… She's going to get off._

I looked at Eris. All I had to do was say no. Hide my thoughts and tell Nemesis it was all a load of bull. I looked to my mother, who was eying me inquisitively , and finally I turned to look deep into the eyes of Nemesis.

I stared into those pools of cold blue for a moment, and she cocked her head inquisitively. I saw Apollo out the corner of my eye.

_Standing before Truth and Justice themselves… Could I lie just to satisfy a personal vendetta? When it came down to it; had Eris actually done anything wrong?_

Despite an indirect murder, there was only one answer to all these questions…

I finally spoke, in the most grudging of tones. "Although it will pain me now and for the rest of my life to say it, for probably the first time in her existence, Lady Eris… speaks the truth."

There was an explosion of murmuring and bickering from the gods as my eyes fell to the floor. Most were probably just disappointed that they'd came all this way and they didn't get to see so much as a decent divine flogging. I, on the other hand…

_I just advocated the person responsible for my father's murder._

A crackle of thunder silenced the assembled deities. Nemesis spoke again. "If that is indeed the case, then it would seem Justice is served. Eris may-"

I did the risky thing of cutting Nemesis off. "What about the mortal she killed?" I shouted.

Nemesis paused and regarded me coldly, even more so than usual. "You imply I am missing something?"

I shook my head. "She still killed a mortal. And that happened before I arrived in the past and the paradox began, she is still guilty of that."

Eris cut in at that point. "You forget one thing, Armani. I was working to assist Kronos at that time."

"So what's your point?" I demanded.

Nemesis answered for her. "All gods who sided with Kronos in his attempt to seize power were vindicated of the crimes they committed whilst in his service. This would, albeit technically, fall into that category."

"_What? _You can't just let her get away with this!" I said desperately.

Nemesis cocked her head. "Believe me, I would take great pleasure in being the one who casts Eris into the pit of Tartarus, but justice is justice, and it has spoken. The balance of the law is restored. Lady Eris may go free."

At that, without another word, Nemesis disappeared in a flash of white light.

There was quiet murmuring as Zeus snapped his fingers and the cage about Eris faded away. The goddess floating gracefully down to the floor as the other gods began to mull about and leave the hall.

Artemis glared at Eris, but she kept her composure. If justice was served, then that was that.

I still stood, frozen, as Eris slowly stalked towards me. "It's a shame Artemis took the little parting present I left in you away. So doting, that one…" She was silent for a moment when I heard her sigh, "I would think you must be quite upset with me right now."

I didn't look at her. "I have nothing to say to you."

Strangely, her voice didn't hold any of its usual condescension. It almost seemed…sincere. "You must think me quite the monster. I wish to assure you of this though, Armani: I did nothing wrong. You also forget that I still have that information for you as your reward and, despite what you may think of me, I am a goddess of my word. To be fair, though, when you think about it, no one was really hurt in the end."

I rounded on her. "Is that right? Well, what about the one victim who everyone seems to be overlooking in this whole farce?"

"And who might that be?"

I snarled at her. "My father! Because of you and your twisted bit of _fun_, _he's_ not here anymore! Because of you, Ms. I-didn't-really-do-anything-wrong, my father is _dead_!"

And then she leaned in and whispered two words; two small, simple words that held enough power to flip my entire perception of the world around me on its head:

"_Is he?_"

-Ω-

_Fin…_

-XA-

[A/N] Thusly the beta version concludes, thanks to Shrrgnien for her awesome work once again. And that is that for another installment, sorry again this took so long, real world stuff got in the way. Anyhoo, I hope you've enjoyed the ride up to this point. I just hope you have as much fun reading it as I do writing it. I'll be taking a breather to get the plot points together so it may be a bit before my next release. I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for that, but rest assured, I will be back…

_To be concluded in Broken Bow Book 5: The Lost Prince._


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